wow. long time since i've updated

hmmmm... this past week i've been going out practically everyday. hahaa. from shopping to watching movie to doing the montage with andrew at night to everywhere. it's time to get a part time job. cuz i want the money. and i dont wanna waste time at home..


on thursday...
delz came over to sleepover. we were kinda bored after eating la. so we were thinking of what to do. then we suddenly thought of going shopping. thank God that we went. cuz i wanted to get a black shoe. for the event. explain later. and andrew keep forgetting to bring michelle's shoe for me. so we decided to go la. wahlaooo.. we went for like 2 hours plus i think.. delz manage to buy like 4 tops. and she managed to find a top for alex and li ann's wedding somemore. and it was like rm15.80 weiiiiiii.. tsk tsk tsk *shakes head* amazing. and i manage to find a black covered shoe. it's the pointed one. which my mum always wish i would one day buy something like that. haha. and guess what? when andrew came... cuz he needed to check on the montage and needed to burn it into the cd.... he really forgot bout the shoe. wah laooo.. i really thanked God on the spot that we went shopping. if not i really dont know what to wear the next day. ahaha. i guess i know my cousin well enough. kakakaka *innocent smile*




this is what we did before sleeping...

* cia, me, andrew.. before he left for home *

* aint the teddy bear cute? hehe *

* getting ready to sleep? yeah right *

* dont we look happy?? *

* i love my table that is directly opposite my bed. great place to position my camera. hahaa *

on friday...
me and delz went for this one day job kinda thing. an event. in eastin hotel. it's under sirius. they were having a training for emmm.. hp something university. and i was wondering how come hp has a uni. ahaha. cheh. dont know why they called that also. sheesh. so anyways... delz had to came over to stay cuz we had to be in eastin at 7 the next day


ugh! seriously. dont understand why ppl are not punctual at all. we reached there. and no one was there at all. but the person who was in charge came around 7.03 or something. so it was ok ok la. maybe cuz we arrived there early. that's why we felt they took very long to come. somemore we thought we were late di u know. sheesh. rush for dont know what.


we did the registrations... and ushering. we had to usher ppl into the ballroom.. or usher out of the ballroom. whatever la. haha. so when lunch came.. when we approach them. we dont need to say anything. they practically could read our minds. cuz the only time we talk to the ppl is when we need them to go somewhere. so they like just nod and smile at us and give us this look that says.. i know i know.. the thing is starting. and we gotta go in. if i was them...seriously...i would wanna stay out there and far away from the ballroom as long as possible too. cuz im pretty sure the training was VERY VERY VERY VERY BORINGGGG!!! saying it's boring is an understatement. hahaa. and the ballroom was soooooooooo cooollllldddddd!!!!! *brrrr* *shivers* haahha.


we ate sooo much during the event man. there was like breakfast, tea break, lunch, and then tea break. so by the time we ate our lunch..... it's like blehsss.. we had nasi lemak and mee siam for breakfast. *slurps* wah laooo.. thinking bout it makes my mouth water man. haha. and we had tea and coffee for the whole day. of course i choose tea right. duhs. then the tea break we had sandwiches and chicken and the other break was all the kuihs la. didnt eat it. cant really remember. and the the lunch is the highlight of all highlights. i dont know whether there's such a thing. but seriously. *shakes head* it was superbbb!!!! me and delz decided to go later than the guys. cuz we were still full from the breakfast and tea break. actually only ate a piece of chicken for the tea break. but we were still full. so we let francis(oh yeah. he was there too) and another guy (praveen) to go for lunch first. cuz they need 2 ppl to stay and take care of the place.


thank God we decided to go later. cuz we needed to usher the ppl back into the ballroom only. then we dont have much to do. so we went for lunch with christine and her colleague(vivien)(dont know how to spell her name). we had buffet lunch. when we went there... our eyes popped out.. jaws dropped. and just stare at the food and the dessert. i would like to show u pictures of the dessert. but we had such a great time.. that we forgot to take picturessssss!!! can u believe it???!!! we were like saying.. kay kay.. must take picture of the desserts. but but but but.... we ate and ate and ate and talk and talk and talk and laugh and laugh and laugh... that we forgot all bout it!!!!! until we went back down for bout half an hour or something.. then delicia realized we didnt take pictures of it. sheeshhhh!!!!! so geramted!!! arghhhh!!!! how could we forget such an important task. ahaha


we practically ate bout how long? 1 hour plus 2 hours? somewhere there. cuz christine said we dont need to go down so fast. so we just took our own sweet time to eat and talk. hahaa. it was really nice la. so thank God we went later. haha. we had more time to enjoy our food. somemore not many ppl were there u know. so we could take as much as we want without being called greedy or a glutton and eat as long as we want. the food was soooooooooo good... thinking bout it makes me wanna go there and eat. but... on the other hand... im also thinking of the fats i would gain. i gain so much di la. depressed. haha.



on saturday.....
alex and li ann's BIG DAYYY!!! wooo hoooo. i was ushering on that day. so had to wake up super early again. i think i dont suit ushering. i cant take it. aw man. it passes so fast. it was like a dream. everyone looked so pretty and gorgeous. li ann look sooooooooo pretty. hehe. i guess all brides do huh. then after the ceremony... evelyn, yvonne, nelson, jon, edward, delz, me, and kevin went for bowling. ahha. it was seriously a funny and great time! ahhaa. i didnt want to play in the first place. cuz it's been a long time since i've played. but well well well. i manage to get a few strikes myself. one of it was just plain lucky. the last pin just fell by itself wei. hehe. but the rest i manage to do myself one okay?? hehe.


some pictures from the wedding and the dinner.. this post is getting too long. i think u guys might have fallen asleep di. ehhee. what to do. alot of updating to do and tons of pictures to put up. this 3 days really made me feel so exhausted. all the pimples are popping out cuz of it. been sleeping late, bathing late, drinking less water, eating too much, out the whole day, and waking up early.

* kevin & i *

* cia & i *

* us again.. after lunch *

* my sweetheart *

* emm.. what else should i say bout us? hehe *

* kai cheh & i *

* yian & i *

* during the dinner *

* cia, yian, me, joanne. i love the mirror! makes me miss my mirror in the condo *

* jess, mich, geraldine, me, cia *

sad post.

welll..... this post is gonna be a sad one.. compared to the lovey dovey one. this may or may not affect ppl who reads it. i've tried to stop myself from posting it here. but seriously. i cant keep it in my heart anymore. eventhough i shared it with kevin.... but i cant help it but write it out too.. but i thank God that kevin understands la. hehee.


so anywaysss..... emmmm... well... it started on emmm.. on friday night i think. sigh. my mum complained and she practically shouted asking me why why why must i leave so early on saturday morning. then i also said that i need to fetch ppl. and she gave me this disappointed look. i mean..... harlooooo.. im fetching ppl to church. isnt it like a good thing? at least im not fetching ppl to go clubbing or to do something sinful right. and the way she talked to me the whole night.... like..... sighhhh.. i dont know how to explain la. ugh! u gotta be me to understand it. u gotta be in my position to understand and feel the way i feel.

she gave me this look like i've done the greatest sin in the whole wide world. like i've been a useless child. sometimes when i dont behave the way she wants me to..... i mean like sometimes i like to play around... but she will say see la... dont know why i want to give birth to a daughter. like she say in cantonese... 'sang lui la sang lui la' like give birth to a daughter la... and it really hurts me when she says that.


am i not worthy of her love?
dont i deserve to be treated the same way?


when my brothers wants to get the car... they can drive anywhere they want. do anything they want with the car. and doesnt get anything. but when i say i wanna have the car.... i wanna fetch ppl... to.... churchhhhhh....... she complains and gives me this disappointed look. like im wasting the families money. like im doing everything wrong and nothing right. like whatever i do.....whatever i say..... will never be right in her eyes. sighhhhhhh. i dont know what to do di la. whatever di la.


somemore today in church we were talking quite well mar.. like besides her passing me the immuflora....... we were talking quite well. she even told me that she bought books from the ppl who came from doulos. cuz they came to share their testimonies. then she asked me what time ill be home.. so on so forth.


then i dont know why. when i came back... she never even talk to me. until the time when she was bout to leave the house. she suddenly barge into my room with my 2 skirts. and was like scolding me. asking me why i dont hang my skirts. she say it's so expensive. say that im not grateful for it and all. and i sat there wondering what did i do wrong again to make her angry. i didnt even talk to her once i come back. and she suddenly burst at me. sighssss... now im wondering.. what have i done wrong.


but i think cuz she's stressed with work and with everything. i guess that's why she's like that. but but but but...... aihhhhh.. dont know laa....


hmmmm.. i havent been complaining bout my mum for quite sometime huh. hehee. wing lian or joanne.... if ur reading this... please dont tell mummy. please keep any comments to urself. it was quite hard at first.. i was debating whether i wanna write it here. whether i wanna write out my true feelings. cuz u guys are gonna read it. but but but... im so used to writing my feelings here. i cant help it. sooooo... yeahhhh..

no title again. dont know what to put. ahaha

well well well... yet another post without a title... i dont know what to put la. too lazy to slowly think of a title. hahaa.. actually.. i should be preparing my lesson for my babies tmr. cuz im teaching for cradle roll.. i think this is like my 3rd time teaching. ugh! i feel so stressed when i teach....

cuz firstly... the parents themselves dont care whether the babies pay attention or not. and secondly.... im just too shy to teach.

so wellsss... i guess i gotta get out of my comfort zone huh. but at least i dont mind teaching la. im okay with it. but shy... still shy.. cuz the parents are like older than me. so who am i to teach the babies right. somemore i dont have a baby of my own. how to understand them. sheesh. dont know la..


soooooo.. i know i should be preparing my lesson now. cuz andrew will be here in a matter of minutes to do the montage for alex and li ann's wedding. and their wedding is really just around the corner. this coming saturday. i just realized how fast it was. in my mind i still think that there's tons of time. but...... when eng kok announced it today during yf... i was like SHOCKEDDDD!!! i cant believe that their wedding is this saturday. oh my goshhhh!!!!! so fast so fast. now im feeeling the pressure for the montage. aww mann.. crazy.


but but but.. i wanna post here.. wanna update u guys. actually... i wanted to update sooner.. but i was feeling something that was uncertain. until now. ill explain later in my post.


so remember i was saying that im gonna go kdu to ask bout the pre-u.. well... they gotta get back to me. they gotta send my results to UNSW to see whether i qualify to go in. and if i can go in..... im gonna start my classes soon. actually they started classes di. but the counselor... or whatever she is says that i can just join in. pick up from where they left off.. im happy la if i can get in. but a part of me is scared. scared of whether i can cope with the class. cuz they started di u know. so im scared that i wont be able to catch up. u know me..... im LAZYYYYYYY!!!!!! bahsss

so i really do hope i can qualify. cuz the counselor said that i need to do all level 11. but all my major subjects.... LA, maths, and science is all in level 11 mar. so i think it should be alright....... right??????? bahhhsss... i hope and really pray that i can get into it. seriously. homeschooling sucks. ugh! whatever. i cant do much now la. since im done with it. all i can do now is pray and ask God for His favor. sheesh. irritatingsss...









now..... time to explain my uncertainties... as mentioned just now...
the past few days i was kinda scared la. scared of this relationship that im in with kevin. seriously. after a failed relationship..... i kinda somehow am scared to really give someone my heart again. im seriously scared la. like i cant help but think what if.... just what if.... we dont work out. then ill be like back with a broken heart. and i dont want that. no no no way. kevin is like all i ever wanted. seriously my dream come true.

but now i can truly say that im no longer scared. seriously. this might sound abit naik-bulu-roma. did i say it correctly? ahhaa. this might sound abit too mushy mushy. too lovey dovey. but....

everytime i spend time with kevin.
everytime i look into his eyes.
the 'I-LOVE-U'S'
everytime im around him.....

i can feel the love.
i can feel that this is gonna last.
i can feel that God's hands is upon us.

i just cant believe it. i cant believe that whatever i've ever hoped and prayed for....came true. God really has answered my prayers. whatever i've prayed for in a guy... thru the years... i really see it in him.

he knows how to crack me up
knows how to make me smile
knows how to share my problems
knows how to say that he understands
knows that im not perfect & accepts me as i am

i can finally say that..... i've found a guy who accepts me as who i am. and not trying to change me. he loves me for me.


so for this... i really thank God for everything. thank God for bringing me such a great guy. thank God for saving the best for last. thank God for giving this me this heart to feel love =)

last time.. before this.. before i got out of my heartache. i kept praying that God would take away my heart. cuz i dont wanna feel anything. esp. pain.... but now.... hahahaha.. i thank God that He didnt really take my words seriously. cuz it would be such a shame if i cant feel love from kevin.... or worse.......... God.

so kevin..... if ur reading this. im sorry if i didnt tell u how i feel earlier.. before i post this thing.. i wanna tell u. but i cant contain my joy. i gotta tell the world how happy i am now that im with u! ehehe. ok ok.. now im sending shivers down my own spine. *shivers* suddenly my room so cold one? hahahahahaahaha.

college college college... thoughts thoughts thoughts

sighhh.. sometimes i wish that i dont have to decide on something. like i know what God has plan for me. then i just do whatever He asks me to do. since He knows all the things that is good for me. He knows me better than anyone else. so He should be able to decide for me. i really hate to decide on major things. cuz u know...... it's majorr.... duhhhhh!!! so it's a pretty big decision. like what if i choose something wrong. and then it turn out horrible. then it's all my fault. it's like a life long decision u know.




awww mann.. oh wells. i think im gonna do bachelor degree in education la. i wanted to do early childhood education. but that day i was talking to aunty see wei. she was like saying that it's not a good idea. to straight away study a main thing. she said should broaden ur studies. then later when u know what u want. then specialize on something. i think it's good la. kevin thinks im kiasu. i thought kiasu meant crazy. but kiasu means being safe.. so study everything. ahahha. i mean most probably i would wanna teach lil kids than older ppl. but we shall see in the future. maybe my thinking has changed or whatever.





im so happy. i prayed this morning during my QT that if God really wants me to do pre-u in kdu. He'll plan everything out for me la. like from my transcripts.... my transcripts right.. seriously they take really really long one. i graduated in june. last weekend only my teacher sent my stuff to the subang center to get my transcripts done. and normally it'll take them another few weeks to get my transcripts done. but today!!!!!!! miracle of all miraclesssssssssssssssssss... i called my teacher. and she said they sent my transcripts to the center todayyyy!!!! oh my goodnesss!!! i was so shocked! so tmr i can go and collect it and then it'll be in time for saturday. which is the open day..




so that is my next concern. i really do hope kdu would accept me. cuz seriously i loathe homeschooling. seriously. hate is an understatement. i loathe loathe it. all cuz i did homeschooling. it has made me hard to get into colleges. they say that msia would recognize homeschooling.. blablabla. i dont think so. i think spm is like the bestest of the bestest. but oh wells. i know God has and had a reason for putting me into homeschooling. no matter what... i shall thank God for putting me in that school. ehehe =) THANK U GOD! okay. moment of thankfulness is gone. just joking. ill forever be thankful to God. now i need u guys to pray for me. that i can get accepted. and pray that the pre-u hasnt start

but but but but but... im kinda at crossroads now. cuz justina was telling me that. if i take july intake or jan intake. it'll end at the same time. ill finish at the end of nov. but but but... if i dont enrol into something now. i seriously feel so useless. cuz i dont know where to find job. and if i enrol now. might as well enrol next jan right? since it'll end at the same time. but i think if i enrol now.... the course semester and all would be nicely spaced out... then it'll be more relaxed right. cuz if enrol in jan. means it'll cramp all that is needed to be studied together to finish at the end of nov. but if enrol now.. i think it'll be more spaced out. more time to study stuff right? right? right? right? awww mannnn!!!! howwwwwww????!!!!! im confused im confused im confused



sooo pls pls pls pls pls pray for me when i go and check out the open day this saturday. so that as i talk to the counselor.. ill be able to decide on something. or maybe should pray for wisdom for my mother. so that she can do the deciding. hahaa. but but but... i gotta learn to take resposibility. like kevin said.... im old enough to think and decide. i shouldnt let ppl decide for me. then i wont ever learn to decide for me. roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! did i say that i hate growing up??? hahha. why did i ever wanna grow up?

i remember when me, mich, just were younger. not that we're old now. we're still young. hehee. right? anyways.. i remember last time. we all wished we grew up faster. wished that we could drive. wished that we could have more freedom. have more chance to do the stuff that we wanna do. wanna be like the adults. dont wanna be treated like a small kid. and now when the time to grow up has come. when we have no choice whatsoever but to grow up....... im kinda thinking twice. like why in the world did i wanna grow up??????????????




i wanna remain a small kid. i wanna live a carefree life. free of decisions. free of choices. free of struggles. free of responsibilities. so can i can i can i? can i remain a small kid? hahaha. pls la esther. come on! wake up and smell the roses. but but but.. are u sure there are roses? hahah. i think it's more like a foul smell that makes me wanna run away. hahaa. aww mann.. im going crazy. crazy crazy crazy crazy. im even talking and scolding myself. sheesh. what is wrong with me? tsk tsk. *shakes head* okayyyyyyyyy... im scaring myself. i better stop here. haha. before i become insane. hehehe.




--------------------------------------- the end -----------------------------------------

tiring weekend

finally joseph and lay yan's wedding came and passed so fast.. seriously time passed so fast. and soon it's alex and li ann's wedding.

last night we had a bridal shower for li ann. and she said that her wedding is only in 12 days time. we were like so shocked! cuz oh my goodness.. it's so fast

this year... seriously... it has been a line of bridal showers. so all the questions that were needed to be asked.. were asked. any concerns bout the wedding night.... wedding day.. the future. has been answered in almost all the bridal showers. haaahah.

but at least u get to know the couple better. like how they got together and all. it's seriously very nice to listen to how ppl get together. and now they're getting married. i kept imagining myself next time. during my bridal shower. what ill be telling my close friends and all. hehe. how nice.

yesterday was really tiring. cuz woke up really early for church. then went straight to ginie's house.. cuz there was where we had the bridal shower. helped ginie cook the dinner for the night. it was seriously really nice to cook. manage to learn a few recipes. hmmmm.. i wonder when ill be able to do it myself. ahaha. maybe when i have my own kitchen and a husband to feed. hehe. but it was really nice la. being able to learn how to cook. and being able to cook. and also a great time of bonding. all the close friends together. talking and sharing. ehhee =)

anyway.. abit lazy to write di. can i just let the pictures do the talking? hahaha.

* michie & cia *

* lay yan (the beautiful bride), ching choo (awesome coordinator), cia (bridesmaid) *

* joanne.. bro's gf *

* cia and i *

* cia, li ann (soon-to-be-bride), elaine *

* cia, the soon-to-be married couple. in 11 days time =) *

* kevin & i (it's so hard getting him to take picture with me. sheesh) haha *

* posing & getting ready for what we're gonna do to her (the before) *

* that's what we do in a bridal shower. shower the bride. ahha *

* the after.. and amelia was looking in awe. haha *

finallyy!!! picssss!!!

* kai cheh's bridal shower =) *

* eating all the junk food. ahaha *

* geraldine's bday *

* me, evelyn, cia *

* cia & i *

* during my bday.. yummy swensons ice cream *

* the guys *

* the crazy guys * (must be the ice cream)

* the sane girls *

* ppl who gave me a crazy bday dinner and dessert. * =)

not much updates

i have nothing much to update u guys bout...

well.. mainly cuz i dont have much to do now a days. besides going out with kevin and going to church and all.. nothing much to do. seriously.

i know i know. i should really start searching and asking ppl bout colleges that has an early childhood education course near pj. so far i only know 2 colleges that has that course. one is SEGi lo. all the way in subang.. and methodist college... all the way in kl.


so how so how? no college that has that course in pj???? but seriously if u ask me to choose between subang and kl.. i would definitely choose subang. but but but but.... i dont wanna choose between that 2.. i want a college in pj. near my house. which i dont have to wake up early for classes.


what if this course is not for me? what if i cant take the kids? i seriously dont know how to handle kids. they would end up climbing over my head. maybe this job is not for me. im not so worried bout studying it. cuz it really sounds interesting la. since i love kids and all.. but whether i can cope with the kids. i dont really know how to handle them u know. if given a choice.... i would rather not handle them. just play with them. and the disciplining part can go to someone else.

but if i do that right... then next time how do i handle my kids? my very own kids? their future depends on me....and of course my husband too la. sighhhhhhh. now all that i worry bout is the college part. i know God will help me out with the studying and handling the kids. He will give me the strength and wisdom and courage and brave-ness that i need. but now is the college part.. i dont mind going to subang la. but it's the jam and the transport. arghhhhhh!!!! how laaaa..

help me help me help me!!! GODDDD!!!! i need Your wisdom!!!!!! hmmmm... i think i dont mind going all the way to subang la. since i dont mind going to church... i wont mind going to subang right? right? right? arghhhhh!!!

and i know i should be at least doing something now. cuz right now i feel pretty useless staying at home everyday. doing nothing. being online. finding for some game to occupy me. watching tv. i know some ppl would kill for my position right now. i think i would want this when i start my college next time. but right now. seriously... i feel like im wasting my time. i think everyone does too huh.

doulos here we come!!!!

weeeee!!!! i get to go doulos tmrrrr!!! with.. kevin... delzzz... and esther limmm..


i cant remember the last time i went. i think when i was really young or something. i cant even remember whether i even went. ahaha. so anyway... just hope tmr will be a fun time of bonding and fellowshipping in the ship. ehhee.


then we decided to cook for dinner. so we're cooking italian. spagetti with mushroom soup and garlic bread. hmmm.. wonder if it's too much. somemore delz want dessert. aww mannn.. awww mann.. too much food too much food. ahaha.


so yayyyy!!! got more pics to put uppP!!!! more pics to take!!!! weeeee!!! hahaha.




here a lil update bout my SEGi college search..

1. i found out that they have a branch in ss2. which was formally informatics or something. didnt know it was SEGi di
2. the course that i want is only in the summit branch
   

so yeahhh.. that's the saddest part of them all. cuz like i was really really happy that they have a branch in ss2. it's like nearer to my house than summit... but when i went and search bout the course that i want........ *faint* it's only in summit. sheeshhhh!!!! dont u think it's weird? ughhh!!! cant they have all the same courses in all the branches. come onnnn!!!!



im so majorly disappointed -.- sheesh. so gotta talk to my mum bout it. sigh. or maybe find for another college that has that course lo. oh wells. =)

so do anyone know other colleges besides SEGi that offers a pre-k course or early childhood development course? for montessori one. pls tell me if u doo. thanks =)

unbelievable..

i cant explain my feelings in words..

it's just unbelievable...






when i stare into his eyes...

it's unbelievable

when i hold his hands...

it's unbelievable

when i hug him...

it's unbelievable

when i say i love him...

it's unbelievable

when i hold him in my arms...

it's unbelievable

when i get to show that i love & sayang him without being discreet bout it...

it's unbelievable

when im close to him...

it's unbelievable

when i spend time with him...

it's unbelievable

when i want to spend the rest of my life with him...

it's unbelievable

when i pinch myself to see whether im dreaming and i realize im not...

it's unbelievable

when he tells me that he loves & sayang me...

it's unbelievable

when he holds me in his arms...

it's unbelievable

when he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me...

it's unbelievable

when he drives around & teman me to do errands or when i teman him...

it's unbelievable

when he hugs me...

it's unbelievable

when he says he wanna spend time with me...

it's unbelievable






maybe those of u who is reading this..... may ask why isit so unbelievable.. just accept the fact la. i am accepting it each day.

i just cant believe it that my dream came true


every second,
every minute,
every hour spent together.
every look into each other's eyes.
every touch of our hands.
every smile, =)
every laughter that we share.
every talk.
every joke (eventhough it may be silly sometimes... but i love the way he makes me laugh)
everything.......


i cant believe that it's happening.


i thank God for all the blessings


i thank God for bringing him into my life


i thank God for everything that He has done for me

studies studies studies... can i not think bout it?

ughhhhh!!!! i seriously hate to think bout my studies



when i finally think that i might wanna do something. then someone will come and tell me how hard it is. and that i might not cope with it and all


recently.. i was talking to my mum that maybe i wanna do web designing or something la. cuz then can do freelance and all mar. then she was quite supportive. even during this evening. but when i came down for dinner then we all were talking bout my studies la. then my bro was saying that IT is really not that easy and all. then my mum was like yeahh.. i dont think u should study that too.. i think u should do montessori.



then they started la. saying since i love kids and all. i really do. but i dont know whether i have the patience to teach them anot. i've tried before in my school. and maybe cuz of that. i decided not to teach in montessori's. cuz seriously... i feel really stressed. ugh! how laaaa.. can die!


then in the end.. they said that aiyahhh.. just think what u really like to do lo. then go and study it. then they say. but i think u should do montessori. then started again la. montessori this montessori that. and it's quite bad cuz im the kind right.. when i dont feel right bout something. then someone promotes it and all. i would think that it's not so bad after all. and that's what im feeling now. ugh!



and the worst part is that......... finally when im happy to go to kdu. when finally i thought kdu is not-so-bad-a-place afterall.. they had to make me go and do montessori in some other college. ugh! *faint* but i guess it's quite bad that i accept kdu cuz of kevin. cuz he's going there.... that's why i suddenly see kdu shining and glowing. ahaha. if not i feel neutral bout kdu. ugh!


i dont know la.
i dont know whether montessori is right for me.
i dont know whether i have the patience.
whether i can cope with it.
whether i can teach the kids well.



but one thing good bout montessori is that....
i can have holidays.
and it's not really a FULL day job.
i get to see kids
but kids now a days right.... it's not as 'guai' as last time
it's like they get what they want.
their parents worships the ground they walk on
ok ok.. maybe not THAT exaggerating. but still........

sorry to those parents out there. hahaha

sighhhhh.. how how how???? dont wanna think bout it la.. whatever di la..

lalalalala.. *im not thinking* *im not thinking* weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. how nice =)

im too lazy to think of a title =)

hmmmm... my holidays has been quite good

i have an equal share of going out and staying at home. so im ok la


yesterday i followed kevin to register into kdu... and we took quite long there. we thought that half an hour would be enough. but nooooooo.. ms. daisy ong was like talking to almost everyone who passes by. hahaa. and even when we went to pay for the registration... the lady was taking really long too. so we thought we'll be late for our movie... we watched superman... so we quickly get out of kdu and rushed to 1u. and whoa! seriously. nobody watches movie so early in the morning man. i was wrong. haha.




and the funniest thing that happened during the movie was that almost nearing the end..... suddenly the screen turned black.. and the wall lights came on. so it was abit dark la. quite romantic i must say. ahahhaa. but then they said that there's some technical problem. so we had to wait for like 5-10 mins? i dont know. time passed quite fast. cuz im spending it with my dear. hahaa. anywayssss... that movie experience was like the first in my life. i've never experienced such a thing man. gosh! so super funny wei.




so then after that.. we went to get my ingredients for baking my choc chip cookies and lunch.. we ate brunch.. mcd's breakfast!!!!! yayyyyyY!!!!! he's so sweet la. send me here and there.. just to get my ingredients... awwwww..



then at night i went out with delz. i knew it i shouldnt have agreed to going to curve. should have said go to 1u. why didnt i say go to 1u??? it's like i really hate going to the curve. cuz there's nothing to buy...nothing to see..nothing to shop....nothing nice to walk around. but but but.... i dont know why i didnt change the shopping place. *faint* ugh! wasted our time. u know when u go shopping.... u wont even wanna look at the time... but last night right.. aww mannn.. the both of us like counting down like that..



so in the end we decided to go and eat something to make ourselves happier.. we wanted to go to baskin&robbins. but then we saw the thai express.. and they have this really nice dessert. it's like ice cream, water chesnut, and some emmm.. coconut water or something.. dont know what la. but it was really nice. and when we asked for the check cuz we wanted to go borders.... guess how much was it?????

rm 9.09!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u might think what's the big deal... but the bowl was seriously really small.. and the amount was like really lil.. so oh my goodnesss!!!! hahaha. i said really nice right? but it's not worth the amount we payed



oh my goodnesss.. both of our eyes almost like popped out mannnn.. we were soooo shocked.. so anyway.. off we went to borders.. then we manage to look at some really nice books. i really love karen kingsbury books. even though they are quite sad. but it's really really nice to read. seriously. but it was quite bad also cuz delz saw this bunch of series books that she wanted to get.. but all of it were like missing the first books of the series. oh my goodness. and when we finally found a full series...... we were scared that it's not nice to read.


so in the end delz managed to get 2 books only. all cause of the stupid dessert. that made me put on weight by the way. gosh! i've been eating so much man! arghhhh!!! i should continue back my pilates and my diet. it's all washed down the drain. if we didnt eat the dessert..... we would have managed to get her 3 books. but oh well... at least managed to get 2 right?


and the day didnt end that well tooo... delz got a minor accident. but still accidents are still accidents. no matter minor or major. ugh! i just hate accidents. seriously.





so today i woke up real early to start baking... and i thought i didnt have the mixer at my house. so i called my brother... yesss... sorry to wake u up so early. anyway.. and i asked whether he has the mixer there.. then he said yes. so i drove all the way there. still feeling abit sleepy. then when i reached there. guess what???? no mixer. so i had to drive all the way back. and search my house.



i dont get it. i dont learn from my mistakes. well... not all la. like this mistake. i knew it i should have checked my house first before i go anywhere or do anything.. but noooooo.. i didnt.. even the vanilla essence. i knew it i should buy it yesterday. but i kept telling myself surely ill have it at home cuz i baked before.. but u know what???? i baked like 2 years ago. ugh! so i had to go out and get the vanilla essence too.. ugh.


so i only manage to start baking at 11 something. i was so scared that i would burn the cookies or something cuz i dont really remember how to use my oven. i just simply use it only. and voila(however u spell it) the first batch of cookies and so on came out pretty well i must say!!! wooo hooo!!! yay me! hahaha.



then from then on. i baked and baked and baked and baked... till around 5-6 something. oh my goodness.. seriously tiring. when i was mixing the butter with the flour. i was wondering why i didnt bake for so long. and after an hour or 2 of baking... i finally found my answer... cuz it's seriously seriously really REALLY REALLY tiring. oh my goodness......... i cant believe it!!! i think right... ill take another few years to bake again. when i forget the reason why i dont bake. hahaa.



aiks.. i should have taken picture of my baking experience today. shucks! wasted la! guess i gotta wait till the next time i bake again. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.



oh.. and i forgot to mention that.. one of the minor minor reasons why i suddenly bake. was cuz i have a maid to clean up after me. i seriously hate washing up one.. like i want to learn how to cook. but if i need to wash up. no thanks. ahah. so she helped alot also la. hehehe. and also to keep her busy. i pity her sometimes. sitting around the house with nothing to do.

missing u my justea sayangs!

this post is specially for my justea sayang! i miss her tonssss!!! cant wait till nov.... that's when she's coming backkk!!! woooo hoooo!!!! *jumps for joy!* let's celebrate her coming backkk!!! hahaha.

during claire's open house

christmas eve.. in summit hotel =)

during camp 2005 =)

in the car.. waiting for the church doors to be opened

what i've learnt during QT

hmmm.. i love what i learned during QT this morning. and it somehow relates abit to what pastor spoke bout yesterday.


well.. i liked the example that pastor gave yesterday....



like a large door... great life changing events can swing on small hinges.



and today my QT was like talking bout u dont need spectacular events to know that God is there. like even those ppl in the Old Testament days... we think that they always get to see God always get to hear from Him. i mean not everyone la. but some ppl like Abraham or Joseph...



God only like "showed up" in Abraham's life like once in 15 years. He had no Bible, no small-group fellowship, no super chun worship experiences... but he still had great faith in God.


and sometimes u think that ohhhh.. u must see great miracles, great wonders that God will do in ur life then only u know God is there. like sometimes if we hear from other ppl... like miracles from God that they could walk or when they give tithes then they get twice the amount back or something.. and such things dont happen to u. dont be discouraged. cuz God is still there in even ordinary places.


like.... His wonderful painting during sunset or sunrise.. the trees, the grass, the wind, the world, the plants, families, the cars that we drive, the clothes that we wear. even in those things God still shows that He's there and that He's still present in our lives.


and im very grateful la. that we dont have to look for miracles and God showing Himself everytime to know that He's there for us. even in simple things... or happenings.. we can see and know that He's forever there for us.

start of something new

living in my own world
didnt understand
that anything can happen
when u take a chance

i never believed
in what i couldnt see
i never opened my heart
to all the possibilities

i know
that something has changed
never felt this way
and right here tonight
this could be the

start of something new
it feels so right
to be here with u
and now, looking in ur eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new

now who'd ever thought that
we'd both be here tonight
the world looks so much brighter
oh, with u by my side

i know that something has changed
never felt this way
i know it's for real
this could be the

start of something new
it feels so right to be here with u
and now...looking in ur eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new

i never knew it could happen
till it happened to me
i didnt know it before
but now it's easy to see





this is the song to the high school musical. the starting when troy and gabriella met each other. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! the songs and movie is soooooooooo darn niceee.. if u guys missed it.... pls find out when's the replay or go download and watch it.. SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER NICEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha..


and this song is for me and someone also la. i never thought it could happen.. until it happened!!!! hahaha.

updatessss

hmmmm.. well.. long time since i've updated. im either busy watching oc or talking/smsing on the phone. ahahha.


ughhhh.. this week is my last week at school. i keep praying that this week would be the best week of all. so that i can leave my beloved friends. it's really hard la. leaving them. all of them keep asking me what am i gonna do after i leave school. and honestly...... i dont know. thoughts of courses are like currently at the back of my mind right now. i only think of which course im interested in when im like not doing anything? haha. im like trying not to think bout it. sighhhhh.. i dont know la.




i really dont wanna leave my friends. i guess im like stuck in the middle? i have to leave school. cuz im old di laaaa.. and it's time for me to move on my studies. but at the same time. i dont wanna leave school. leave my friends... my wonderful teacher.. that i've grown to be somehow attached to this few years. my teacher is a lady ok.


let me tell u how i got close to my teacher. i know many times u'll hear that this teacher sucks this teacher whatever. but not my teacher.... i know sometimes i might complain bout her. no one's perfect.. im not saying only me... but her tooo. well... she came into my school cuz my center and her center got joined together. so i heard loads of story bout her. being really strict and clean freak and all. well...she is la. but not as bad as told.


so in the beginning i didnt want to go to her. didnt even want to look at her or even engage in a conversation.. but after a few months or so... my teacher that im under.. left.. so guess who i was under? her. so i have no choice but to talk to her right? hahaha. so then small talk became a talk that could last throughout the whole schooling time. it's like i can share anything with her and she'll keep it. but she wont keep things that needs to be settled and all la.


so then we started going out for dinner with a few other fellow students. and she's really fun to be with. really funny and all. knows how to joke and make silly remarks. sighhh.. and my friends??? well.. there's nothing much to be explained. it's funny how sometimes u get close to a person or a bunch of ppl. did u ever wonder? like it's soooo coool. like u've been in the same class for like 1-2 years. but all of a sudden. u get close to them. it's like awesome. it's funny how God works. how He bring friends into ur life.





hmmm.. alot has been happening. things that i've never expected. haha. well... cant explain much here. soon la. when everything has calmed down and settled? hahaa. =) i know i know. ur like dying of curiousity now huh. some of u know. some of u dont. well... be patient. and sooner or later.... those who see me often.... would know. hehehe. ill tell laa... one day.......... hehe.

details details details

well well well. finally i manage to put o.c aside to update on my posts. hahaa. i better type fast so that i can return to it. hahaa. joking joking. i must mention all the details so that i can give ppl some credit. ahhaa

well.. i've promised u guys some details on my bday. actually.... more like i wanna tell u guys what happened. hahaa. cuz it's seriously damn NICE and SWEET of them to do it for meeeee!!! goshhh!! cant believe that they went through all the trouble to do it for me.



hmmmm.. i woke up late on that day. cuz it was raining. and i wassss soooooooooo tempted to stay in bed the whole day. but i guess jeremy and the rest would kill me. cuz they like planned so much stuff for me.

so i got ready and went to school. prepared myself for whatever they have planned for me. hahaa. cuz justin kept saying that he's gonna have fun torturing me and all. so i was kinda scared u know. wondering what they would do for me.


so then in the morning we had to go through a period of listening to my teacher complain bout us. bout the class behaving badly and all. so the mood wasnt that nice. until jeremy passed me this paper saying that i've signed up for a treasure hunt. and im like nooooooooooo i didnt. hahaha. but oh well. gotta do what they ask me to. so went for break and drank some weird drink then they handed me a clue to where i can find my pressie. well....the first one took a while. cuz i didnt know where they would hide it. hahaa.


so to cut the long story short. u know.. before u guys fall asleep and before some of u complain that it's a really long post. basically i had to do like 6 tasks. and after every task is done.... ill have to go find my pressie. pretty interesting huh. i really enjoyed it la. seriously. haha. never regretted signing up for a treasure hunt which i didnt even signed up for. ahhaa.




so wanna know what i got?

• i have 2 bracelet
• a key chain that has a PINK pig with small lil wings on it
• a PINK and purple doggie.. really soft
  
• a PINK piggie.. really cute and soft
• a colored water thingy. dont know what u call it. haha
• and last but not least......... PINK RACQUETTT!!! well.. actually the racquet is not really pink.. it's silverish red kinda.. but the string and the grip is pink!!! wooo hooo.. and a maroon bag to go with it.
• pajamas. hahahaa. really really nice =)

so mostly all my gift were PINK in color. then i have a new phone too... n70. and a piggie glow-in-the-dark wrist support. something which i've always wanted to buy... but didnt know why i didnt get it. ahaha. 2 pom pom like hairbands. a necklace. and a pair of REALLY REALLY nice earrings.



i really really love the pressies. and of course the treasure hunt. seriously i dont know what to say. thank u is not enough for what they have done for me. after all that.... it has made it harder to leave school now. i've never thought that leaving school was this hard. it's like seriously..... aw mann.. the days are passing so fast! and i gotta get out by the end of this month. which is like next weekkkk!!!!


just the thought of leaving them is really really painful and hard. ugh! ok ok. im not gonna repeat my other post that i wrote last time. but seriously... i dont even wanna think bout leaving school. esp. after my bday. awww mann.. they really did alot alot for meeeee.. bought me sooooooo many pressies.





thanks so much jeremy, justin, nick, mz, shana, joy, adam, junior, sean, carolyn, jocelyn, jer mayn, zane, and julian. i will never ever know how to repay u guys for what u guys did for meeeeee!!! hmmmm.. actually.... maybe i will if i have like alot of money next time or something. then i can bless u guys with something eh. ahahha. thanks so much for creating the funny and fun treasure hunt! =)

a pic of what i got! =)

my bday!

well.. alot of stuff happened today. unforgettable, memorable stuff. stuff that ill always remember in my life.





i would like to say more... but im kinda exhausted. considering i didnt get much sleep last night. so im kinda tired right now. feel like lying on my comfortable bed and just reading a book. long time since i've done that. ahaha. so i guess after this post. im gonna do that for a while. cuz i wanna wake up early tmr. this morning i couldnt wake up at all. mainly cuz of the rain. gosh! it's like lullaby-ing me to sleep. ahaha. until i saw the time was 8.30 then i was like shocked cuz i gotta get ready for school. and since it's raining and all. it'll take some time to reach school.






so that's why.. i shall explain further bout my day tmr. as for now.... im just gonna read my book and sleep. ahhaa. how nicee.. wonderful.. great thing to end my bday. hahaa.


ohhhh.. and just now... when it was 8.06 pm or should i say 20:06.. it's like once in a while kinda thing. and it happened on my bday. it was 2006 (20th june) 2006 (year) 20:06 (time) cool huh? joanne told me that. then i was like shocked. cuz it's like soooooo cooolllll!!!! hahahahahaha.. ok ok.. calming down now. lol. *breathe in breathe out* hahaha





once againnnn...........




THANKS SO MUCH U GUYSSSSS!!!!

WHO MADE MY BDAY SUCH A SPECIAL DAYYYYYYY!!!!

ILL NEVER FORGET WHAT U GUYS HAVE DONE FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

* jessica & i *

* mich & delz *

*delz & i * love u

* gideon! cousin's baby! sooo CUTEEEE!!! *

* michie & i *

happenings

well.. today is kim's bday.. sooooo.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMMMMMM!!!!!






me and my old school friends had a party on friday night. we had an early celebration for me and kim's bday.. kim and i always celebrate our bday together. cuz we're only a day apart. cool huh. and she always say that she's smarter than me cuz she's a day older. *faint-ed* hahahaa.


well.. we wanted to have a nice dress up dinner. but i guess cuz our budget per person is too lil and we didnt have much time to plan properly. we ended up having steamboat in teck meng's house and movie in 1u after that. but since the night movies is only 9 and 12. we had to watch the 9 something one. so we had dinner around 8 something. which felt like a few minutes. then we had to pause everything. like literally pause everything. we left all the food on the table. left the lights and fan on. of course we off the aircond. and of course the maid was home. then off we went to watch movie. the movie ended around 11 something. then we went back to teck meng's house to continue eating and cut cake. a cake which kim and i bought. ahahhaa. it's really funny when we were deciding on what to write on the cake. then kim came out with "we love u 2 hot chicks". but later during the continuation dinner(more like supper).. before we brought out the cake. teck meng were asking the guys what they thought we wrote on the cake. then ben said we bought the cake. then i was like aww mannnnn.. we should have wrote that. that would be really funny.. the 2 birthday girls had to buy their own cake. haha. never heard nor seen before. till that day. ahahahah. but oh well.. didnt mind =)


was suppose to be home around 11 but beg and asked my mum whether i can extend my curfew. so my curfew was at 1. but after all the eating and cutting cake and crapping around. i ended up going home around 2. but i gotta thank God that no matter what. my mum still has grace and she didnt even ground me. i mean.... i've never gotten grounded before. not like i wanna try or anything. but i thank God la. that she didnt do anything to punish me.






and then i had dinner tonight with my family and a new member. ahhaa. joanne. my bro's new girlfriend. im still getting to know her. she's a really nice person to know. well... like i said.. still getting to know her. quite hard now a days cuz wing lian is not staying with me anymore. so i seldom get to see or talk to him. sigh. oh wells. nothing much i can do bout that. just gotta accept the fact. but the dinner was really great. not talking bout the food. but the time spent with my family.



and today my friends bought 2 cakes for me and shana.. her bday was on sat. and awwww mannn.. i ate sooooo many cakes for my bday this year.. i had 3 cakes already. oh gosh! wanna faint. ahhaa. and sigh.. today was a really horrible day. my teacher was agitated the whole day. so in the end the class mood was really down. and horrible. and the weather was sooo gloomy and all. then my friend was like saying.. the weather really shows the mood of the classroom. sighhh. i hope my teacher feels better tmr. really dont know how to apologize to her. argh.


i think i need to continue my diet.. like start all over again. putting so much weight with all the eating out and all the cakes. *bleh* feel sooooo fat now.. ahhahaa. but im still happy with what my friends and family had and has and is planning to do for me. really really grateful.





THANKSSSS SOOOOO MUCHHHHHH!!!!! =)

kim & i bought it. it says we love u 2 hot chicks! i know i know. damn perasan. ahha.

marble cheese cake. chosen by joanne =) thanks!

dont have the picture of the other 2 cakes bought for me and shana. cuz we were in school. and we didnt have cameras and our phones were handed in to our teachers. so we didnt have any phone with us. if not i would have taken picture of it. seriously. wanna know why??? hahahaa.. cuz they bought the cake yesterday. which was father's day. so the ppl writing it thought it was for their father. so they wrote happy father's day on the cake. but it was suppose to be for me and shana. hahahaha. it was seriously so funny man. ahahhaa.



well.. secret recipe had alot of business this few days. cuz all the cakes that i ate was from there. *faint-ed* ahhaha. i think when i see anymore cakes... ill puke. ahhaa. too much cake in a few days. ugh! hmmmmm.. i wonder if anyone really knew what cake i love. i love a kind of cake since i was really young. would always buy it for my birthday. but not sure whether they still have it anot. long time since i have that cake. i think ever since my grandpa passed away. i think la. cant remember the last time i had that kinda cake though. ahha.

laziness

haha.. im abit lazy to update my blog.. nothing much to update. besides the fact that my bday is coming round the corner.. and i dont feel anything bout it. usually i would be like so excited and all. but this year.......... i dont feel anything. aw man. hahaa. but one thing that im excited about is bout what my friend's and family has planned for me. my friends were planning something this few days in school. like planning something to do for me. but u know.. the naughty me kept interrupting. and trying to take a peek at what they were writing and talking bout. ahahah. im so bad right. i think i shall leave them alone and let them plan something nice for me. hahaha.




i liked what aunty see wei said last sunday. before she started the praise & worship. she said....







good - God = 0
zero.. nada.. nil.. kosong..






and it really hit me la.



that really... everything without God... eventhough it may seem good to u.. without God.. it's really nothing.




hope that u guys would realize it like me. =)

sushi making on 31st may

hehe.. wondering why am i only posting this pics up now? well.. i managed to get the full one.. i only had a few of it.. and most of it was with claire.. so i waited for her to send to me lo. dont want to put bits and pieces..

on the 31st of may... we went to grace's house to make sushi. delz wasnt there cuz she went to penang for a trip with ed and his family. that day was really fun. making sushi and taking tons of silly pictures. hahaa.

me & letitia & vanessa

the food that we made =) yess yess.. weeeeeee

the ppl who went
top left : grace, harmony and me
bottom left : anu, claire, letitia, geraldine, vanessa, and mich

no idea why we did this. but mich wanted to do it. oh wells

time fliesss

woahhh.. i cant believe thisss.. now it's like the 2nd week of june. it's sooo fasttt.. aww mann.. why must time pass so fast everytime ur having fun..


hmmm.. well.. on the 3rd-6th juneee... my church had family camp in gentings. and it was really fun. though it passed by sooooo FAST! it like ZOOOM past so so fast. haha. so anyway... camp was great la. i missed going to hong kong with my parents and wing lian. but oh well. hong kong will always be there but the experience in camp will ALWAYS ALWAYS be different. and i still get clothes and stuff from there even if i didnt go. so oh wells. haha.

i felt this camp was abit different than the rest. i think this camp is not like to fill up fuel again. not like a pit stop like my many other camps. but this camp was just time away with God. without anything else in the world. but God, family, and friends. it was great time spent. will certainly NEVER regret it. gotten to know the younger girls more. manage to be better friends.



and i've been going out alot with delz and mich. been spending lots of quality time with them. ahhaa. and especially delz. i've been staying over in her house this month more than many years combined together. ahha. esp. before camp... i stayed over a night before cuz i was suppose to follow them up to genting. so i slept with her for 4 nights all together. ahaha. and goshhh! it certainly has gotten us closer. ahha. and now i miss her everynight cuz i dont hear this person telling me that she cant find a comfortable spot and that her pillow is so low. hahaa. my nights are really quiet now. ahhaa.

pics during camp

* delz and i *

* playing uno in our VERY nice and lovely room *

* nelson and i *

* kai cheh and i *

leaving school...

well.. im leaving school soon. actually i wanted to leave by march. but this year was a different year. let me explain why so.




i started homeschooling when i was like 13. i went to GRC. grace resource center. it was in ss4 then. there i met alot of friends that helped me shape and change my thinking. we all gotten really close and all.

this is a pic of them. some were added in through the years and some are the guys gf's.

but.... when i was around 16... the school's management had some problem. so both the 2 pastors(Ps. Henry and Ps. Kevin) separated. and started their own center's.. so GRC(Ps. Henry) shifted back to grace church pj. and the other pastor's center took over the ss4 branch. and alot of ppl said the grace one wasnt that good blablabla. so my mum decided to put me in Ps. Kevin's school cuz that's the so-called good one la..

so i had to leave my friends. friends that i treasured the most. it wasnt easy for me cuz then i had to start over again and get new friends. but thank God some friends from grace went to Ps. Kevin's center too. so it wasnt THAT bad la.. but still. ahaha. not as before lo




so when i went to the new center.. i really wondered whether i can find friends like my old center's friends. friends that impacts my life. friends that i could make an impact on. friends that can help me be a better person and all. and whether i can make a difference in their life.




so that's why i said this year was different. cuz it took me few years to find good friend's here in this center.. and this year was it.. we all gotten really close and all. doing things together and all. and now im not saying that i manage to find ppl who could replace my old school friend's. no one can ever replace them. haha.



but once again... it happened again. once i get close to them.. i had to leave. my ketua biri biri a.k.a delz was telling me that i should get my lazy bum outta school and get myself in college.. cuz im 18 this year and im already late cuz ppl my age are already in coll. and i know i should do that.


but im still really reluctant to leave. cuz this is the 2nd time that happen. im not ready to leave my current friends and start anew again. it's like whenever i get close to a bunch of ppl. whenever im having the fun of my life. i have to leave and move on in life.




sigh. i guess it's just the phase of life. where u get to cross paths with some ppl. then trust in God again for us to cross paths again.





i was talking to my friend last night. and he was telling me not to leave school so fast. he said that everyone agrees that once i leave, they'll miss me and all. i really do hope that i've made a certain impact in their lives. i never knew that they would be so sad if i left school. ahah. like sometimes i wonder if im ever not in a certain place.. would anyone notice. some of them were telling me not to leave so early. and some of them always tell me that without me... there's no fun. hahaa. sighhh.. well.. i guess once again. it's a phase of life. u gotta move on. and grow up. no matter how much u wish u could remain and play everyday.... one day.. u gotta move on.






it's sad to leave my friends. sad to leave the only common point we have.. and that is school. like now.. me and my grace friends.. we're not as close as last time. cuz we dont have the common point... school. cuz u spend like what 6 hour plus in school. 5 days a week. it's like u see them more than ever.. u spend more time with friends in school. and once u leave that common point. it takes effort and time to meet up again.

fat fat fat and nothing but fat

goshhhhh.. i know i know im fat already. some ppl dont have to remind me over and over again that im F A T !!!!


it's like they think that im blind or something. it's like they think that i dont notice that im fat myself. and they have to keep rubbing it in my face over and over again. non stop. goshhhh!! i really feel like shouting at themm..


i didnt like tell God to create me this way.. im just born this way. i know i know. now a days there's lots of slimming stuff and exercise. blablabla.. goshhhhh. dont think i've never tried any of those.. like slimming stuff and exercise. i do them ok.. but all the fats just doesnt go off as easy as some ppl.


and i think it's the media's fault. it's like brainwashing everyone in the world that skinny is G R E A T !!! it's like if u slim or fat.. it's a no no.. u have to be skinny all over.. ur face, body, and legs should only show the bones.


ughhhh.. sometimes i wonder why cant fat be the new look

but i guess.... that'll never happen. i think if it happens right.. THE WHOLE WORLDDDDD WILL TURN PINKKKK!!!!!!





and i wanna say thank u to those ppl who adviced me and told me that they understand how i felt bout my last post. really thank God that He sent u guys to comfort and advice me. really appreciate it. hehe =)

ugh!

i was planning of complaining bout my life here... but this signing into this blog made me even more pissed off.. sooo pissed off that i cant even write down my true feeelings.. ughhhhh..


fine fine.. now im in the mood to tell it out here...


ughhh!!! i dont understand.. why cant i have freedom????? im going to be 18 for goodness sake. my friend.. she's like 15 or something.. can go on a trip to pangkor with my other friends.... and meeeeee???? i cant go cuz my mum said it's too dangerous


i cant even go to sunway lagoon themepark??? can u imagine??? can u believe it?????????????????????????????????????????????



i cant even drive the sonata.. cuz my mum said that it's too big a car and too nice. that ppl will come and kidnap me.. i was like WHAT THE HECKKKKKKkkkKKKkkKkkK??????!!!!!!!!!!! harlo... ppl walk or ride bicycle's will get kidnapped tooo.. so what does it have to do with the car and all?????????????????????



ughhhhhh.. and i cant even come back around 12 something.. by 10 their already calling me asking where i am... im like what the heck???? then my mum dont even let me go for prayer meeting - one which my old schools friends started.. we have it every tuesday night - she said that she dont want to stay up worrying bout me.. im like.... i didnt ask u to worry bout me also.. i didnt ask u to wait up for me also.. it's not like im coming home around 3-4... WHAT THE HECK LAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


arghhhhhhH!!!! *screams* *shouts* *pull hair* *sob sob*


i really cant stand it. i wish i can move out and do anything i want. ughhhhh!!!!! I HATE THIS LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

somemore pics. hehe

in between the racks of alcohols

the path going to the washroom. ahha

racks and racks of reserved alcohol.