college college college... thoughts thoughts thoughts

sighhh.. sometimes i wish that i dont have to decide on something. like i know what God has plan for me. then i just do whatever He asks me to do. since He knows all the things that is good for me. He knows me better than anyone else. so He should be able to decide for me. i really hate to decide on major things. cuz u know...... it's majorr.... duhhhhh!!! so it's a pretty big decision. like what if i choose something wrong. and then it turn out horrible. then it's all my fault. it's like a life long decision u know.




awww mann.. oh wells. i think im gonna do bachelor degree in education la. i wanted to do early childhood education. but that day i was talking to aunty see wei. she was like saying that it's not a good idea. to straight away study a main thing. she said should broaden ur studies. then later when u know what u want. then specialize on something. i think it's good la. kevin thinks im kiasu. i thought kiasu meant crazy. but kiasu means being safe.. so study everything. ahahha. i mean most probably i would wanna teach lil kids than older ppl. but we shall see in the future. maybe my thinking has changed or whatever.





im so happy. i prayed this morning during my QT that if God really wants me to do pre-u in kdu. He'll plan everything out for me la. like from my transcripts.... my transcripts right.. seriously they take really really long one. i graduated in june. last weekend only my teacher sent my stuff to the subang center to get my transcripts done. and normally it'll take them another few weeks to get my transcripts done. but today!!!!!!! miracle of all miraclesssssssssssssssssss... i called my teacher. and she said they sent my transcripts to the center todayyyy!!!! oh my goodnesss!!! i was so shocked! so tmr i can go and collect it and then it'll be in time for saturday. which is the open day..




so that is my next concern. i really do hope kdu would accept me. cuz seriously i loathe homeschooling. seriously. hate is an understatement. i loathe loathe it. all cuz i did homeschooling. it has made me hard to get into colleges. they say that msia would recognize homeschooling.. blablabla. i dont think so. i think spm is like the bestest of the bestest. but oh wells. i know God has and had a reason for putting me into homeschooling. no matter what... i shall thank God for putting me in that school. ehehe =) THANK U GOD! okay. moment of thankfulness is gone. just joking. ill forever be thankful to God. now i need u guys to pray for me. that i can get accepted. and pray that the pre-u hasnt start

but but but but but... im kinda at crossroads now. cuz justina was telling me that. if i take july intake or jan intake. it'll end at the same time. ill finish at the end of nov. but but but... if i dont enrol into something now. i seriously feel so useless. cuz i dont know where to find job. and if i enrol now. might as well enrol next jan right? since it'll end at the same time. but i think if i enrol now.... the course semester and all would be nicely spaced out... then it'll be more relaxed right. cuz if enrol in jan. means it'll cramp all that is needed to be studied together to finish at the end of nov. but if enrol now.. i think it'll be more spaced out. more time to study stuff right? right? right? right? awww mannnn!!!! howwwwwww????!!!!! im confused im confused im confused



sooo pls pls pls pls pls pray for me when i go and check out the open day this saturday. so that as i talk to the counselor.. ill be able to decide on something. or maybe should pray for wisdom for my mother. so that she can do the deciding. hahaa. but but but... i gotta learn to take resposibility. like kevin said.... im old enough to think and decide. i shouldnt let ppl decide for me. then i wont ever learn to decide for me. roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! did i say that i hate growing up??? hahha. why did i ever wanna grow up?

i remember when me, mich, just were younger. not that we're old now. we're still young. hehee. right? anyways.. i remember last time. we all wished we grew up faster. wished that we could drive. wished that we could have more freedom. have more chance to do the stuff that we wanna do. wanna be like the adults. dont wanna be treated like a small kid. and now when the time to grow up has come. when we have no choice whatsoever but to grow up....... im kinda thinking twice. like why in the world did i wanna grow up??????????????




i wanna remain a small kid. i wanna live a carefree life. free of decisions. free of choices. free of struggles. free of responsibilities. so can i can i can i? can i remain a small kid? hahaha. pls la esther. come on! wake up and smell the roses. but but but.. are u sure there are roses? hahah. i think it's more like a foul smell that makes me wanna run away. hahaa. aww mann.. im going crazy. crazy crazy crazy crazy. im even talking and scolding myself. sheesh. what is wrong with me? tsk tsk. *shakes head* okayyyyyyyyy... im scaring myself. i better stop here. haha. before i become insane. hehehe.




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