*id rather*

i thought some time alone was what we really needed
u said this time would hurt more than it helps
but i couldnt see that i thought it would be the end of a beautiful story
i found out this one thing that is true
that im nothing without u
im better now. i've changed my heart

id rather have bad times with u, than good times with someone else
id rather be beside u in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
id rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
id rather have the one who holds my heart

i cant blame u if u turn away from me, like i've done to u
i can only prove the things i say with time



i thought letting go of u would be a good thing. but through a year plus. i realize how much i miss the time we were together. i started to regret letting u go. i ask my heart and wonder why did i ever do such a stupid thing. im so sorry for hurting u on the day when i decided to stop this relationship. i really thought that when we're older we still have a chance to get back together. my heart is still hoping for that day to come. i really hope that u feel the same way as me. but i think that i wont have a very high chance of that.

*how can i not love u*

cannot touch, cannot hold
cannot be together
cannot love, cannot kiss
cannot have each other
must be strong
and we must let go
cannot say what our hearts must know

how can i not love u
what do i tell my heart
when do i not want u here in my arms
how does one walk away from all of the memories
how do i not miss u when ur gone

cannot dream
cannot share sweet and tender moments
cannot feel how we feel
must pretend its over
must be brave
and we must go on
must not say what we've known all along

+. misses .+

its been a long time since i've posted cuz firstly my uncle's came back from u.s and one of my uncle are staying in my room. so i seldom get to touch my poor computer. lolz. and oh yeah. just wanna say sorry for any erm bad things i posted the other time. cuz i was too angry. i just needed to express my feelings out. lolz. i just came back from my family trip. still wondering why i went for it. i dunno why too. but oh well. at least i got to spend some "quality" time with my cousins. lolz. didnt get a chance to take pictures with them. nevermind still have a few more days. so anyway, the indoor camp thingy was kinda fun. it made me take a step of faith and coming out from my comfort zone. and i told eng kok that i wanted to back up sing. actually i wanted to start of as worship leader.. but i think back up singer will do for me.. for now! hehe. so anyway. lazy to write somemore. ill update u somemore when my uncle's go back. now im too lazy to sit here and think. since i dont want to spend so much time in "their" room. hehe.

yet another post!

why cant i just have my freedom???!!!! why why why??!!! somebody tell me... why???!!!! why is the world like that?!! why is the darn f***ing world like that??!!! what the shit man! ughhhhhhhhhh! i just cant take it anymore!!!!!! arghhhhhhhh!!!! too much too much!!! isit a sin to have my freedom??!! isit isit??!!! why is life like that?! why?! why?!

*screams*

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *PULLS HAIR!* I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

f*** u man!

forgive me for my words! but i just cant take it!!! have u ever been betrayed by ur own family member??!! where ur own damn family dont even trust u?! darn F*** right???!!!!!! i bet u dunno how i feel since i bet u guys come from a way way better home than me. for me.. my home just basically SUCKSSSS!!! who ever is reading this.. pls DO NOT post a comment! i dont not need any of those spiritual shit right now! i just need to let go my anger.. cuz all my anger has been bottled up enough that i just cant keep it inside anymore!

one word that sums my feelings

u wouldnt appreciate what u have until its gone! *sob sob*

- going crazy -

ever since the day u went away
and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasnt been the same
when i looked into ur eyes
the moment i let u go i just broke down

baby if i ever get a chance to to be with u again
i would sacrifice
cuz the feeling that i feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right
its nice to smile when i get ur phone call at night
but i rather have u here with me
right next to me
and i miss the way u hold me tight

i've got to let u know i feel so weak without ur touch
i never thought that i could ever love a man so much
ive gotta let u know that i think that we have destiny
for u id cross the world
for u id do anything

that's right baby
im going crazy
i need to be ur lady
i been thinking lately
that u and me can make it
im in love with u

break it down then ill tell u what i feel
from the moment i met u, its been darn real
my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
cant believe i feel so weak
tell me that u really need me
and u want me
and u miss me
and u love me
im ur lady
ill be around waiting for u
put it down be the woman for u
im falling so deep for u
crazy over u
what am i gonna do
its true
its u and no other
i can no longer go on without u
i just break down

my poem! my poem! hehe ^_^

i have this book of thoughts. and as i was reading my previous ermmm. thoughts. hehe. i came across this poem that i wrote for that someone special. and i wonder why i didnt post it here but i posted it on friendster. so im gonna post it here. and feel free to give any comments kay. i know its cacated. dont need to say that. ahha

i never knew i would fall for u,
well this day has finally come true,
nothing could make me feel better,
because its u that matters.

words cant describe how i really feel,
only God knows what is real,
what kind of signs are u sending?,
cuz i think the continuation is pending.

no feeling in this world can replace this,
sometimes i wish time could just freeze,
love is an extraordinary word,
that mades u as chirpy as a bird.

love is not just bout looks or flirting,
it is about a commitment u are keeping,
will my dreams come true?,
i really want it to, i really do.

God works in wonderous ways,
dont neglect Him, it would be such a waste,
everybody couldnt believe their ears,
for they couldnt believe what they hear.

for u, i will be here,
every second to every year,
you're the bestest friend a girl can find,
being with u is the greatest time.

to u i dedicate his poem sincerely,
hope that u live life happily,
i really want to have a future with u,
from the bottom of my heart i really do

feelings can just come and go,
traffic can pass through and fro,
but i will never let u go.
never!!! haha