aww mann

what is this man.. yesterday i wrote so many things in my blog... sighhhh... now i dont even know what i wrote adi... aiyahhh.. lazy to write again... sooo crappy mann... hehe... lolz... sighhh.. today is such a boring day.. all thanks to mister peacock lala... when i called him, he was like so boring... such a boring day... and singing and crapping around... now... i feel sooo bored... that horrible mr. ang arrr... grrrr... cant wait to go out tomorrow!!! hehe.. cant wait cant wait cant wait cant wait cant wait.. weeeeeeeeeeee... lala.. cuz its been a long time since i've gone out with the whole bunch of my friends... hehe...

signs?! -wonders-

aww mann.. i thought my wondering days are over... but its still somewhere in my brain or heart... sighhh... but at least i got some excitement in my life ehhh... hehe... lolz... now i have this question in my mind... its that what if a guy like remembers the time u guys went out to watch movie... like what happened... and remembered what did u(the girl) do and all... is that a good sign? i really wonder whether he likes me anot... seriously... sighhh... i just really hope that on monday or like some day sooner... he'll tell me how he feels bout me... like whether he likes me anot or whether he is just acting normal... but one thing for sure... i wont tell him that i like him larh... ill just continue liking him and being a good friend to him... and ill just wait for my DREAM to come true... i hope that he'll like me too... somemore now a days i dunno whether he is hinting me or what... arghhh.. i dunno larh.... dunno what larh... my brain is just thinking too much... getting more and more white hair di... cuz i think too much... arghhh... sooo sadd... sadness.... sometimes i hate this situation that im in... but sometimes i dont... cuz when i think bout him... and what he does... and his smile... ill just feel happy all over again... sighhhh... and i want to know whether i should straighten my hair man... dunno whether it'll suit me... sighhh... arghhhh... what ever larhh...

*c H i L L*

today i barely did any work... seriously... like a few questions of my maths... actually its not really a few questions... its like the same question... but its a really really really long question which requires loads of working... hehee... cuz have to plan a fund raising thingy for my school's graduation night... aww mann... can u believe it... we just like started this dance group for bout 2 weeks... and they want us to perform on graduation night.. and that is like on the 21st of nov... which is like dunno how many weeks from now... aww mann.. and we cant even get our dance perfect yet!!!!! arghhh!!!

anywayz, what just said while i AM chatting with her... she said that God has something in store for me... like right now my question is whether HE is the one for me... but i dunno... somehow my human puny mind is like thinking way toooo much... its like whenever something happens... i will like think "*gasp*... is this a sign?" and all those kinda crap... like seriously... sometimes i think God just wants to teach me patience and all... cuz right now i really really want an answer now... and half of me dont want to rush into things... and the other half of me wants to... my feelings now is like so hard to explain... seriously... my heart doesnt understand my brain... ermmm.. hrmmm... *wonders* what am i talking bout??? sometimes i think i just need to take some time off... step back from what im going thru and think bout what im doing.. or what God has been trying to tell me... cuz i think sometimes i just neglect Him... aww mannn... im such a bad bad child of God...

*ur in my mind*

hrmmm... there's like a thousand and one things in my mind like for bout a month... but suddenly i feel that everything has gone... and i dont have any confusions anymore... i guess ill probably follow what eden advised me... that i should just let things be... and just take things slow... although sometimes i would probably like think too much and all... but in the end of it... i just have this feeling that all my thoughts and my confusions are being lifted up to God.. like suddenly i could just breath in deeply and just take one step back from my life and just let God control everything... i feel sooo nice to have this kinda feeling... its like all of a sudden i have a faith to just believe in God...

i like my last msn nick... it says that "since my puny mind is not capable of doing anything wondorous.. i shall commit everything to God" i bet some ppl in the world will agree with me... hehe... sometimes i feel God works in wonderous ways... and u know in the Bible it says that in every circumstances give thanks... but tell me... how many ppl in the world can do that... unless that person is really strong in the Lord... and that person is prolly 1 of 10 ppl in the world... lolz...
life is just a journey which is like continuous learning... which u can NEVER EVER escape... lolz... and ur learning can be more exciting with God... i know sometimes its hard to put God in our everyday life... that's a struggle to me to i would say... but it takes effort to ask Him to guide us... to ask Him for help... to turn to Him in times of trouble/trial/problems/happiness or whatever...

girls... have u ever tried to understand guys? and i bet the guys are asking the opposite question.. hehe.. through my 1 month experience... i found out.. like literally found out... that U CANT UNDERSTAND GUYS AND VICE VERSA... i guess u just have to really put God in the center of ur relationship... i mean.. really... when im talking bout this... all the thoughts is starting to get into my poor mind... thinking over and over... until i have dreams that is sometimes discouraging... cuz i feel that it'll never happen... if i have told u, u would know what kinda dreams im talking bout... and please.... do not think gross... haha... lolz...

last night at prayer meeting... it was soo awesome... as usual... hehe... really could feel the presence of God... really need God's touch in my life... like seriously... and after that... aww mann... its been a long long LONG time since i've gone crazy with my crazy bunch of friendsor even laughed till my stomach ache really badly... hehe ... really missed every single part of it... haha... and esp. when me, kim, and tm were talking bout keeping in touch even after we leave school.... sighhh.. its really a dread thinking bout the time we're gonna leave school... and continue on with our journey of life... i really hope and pray that we all will still be close and have a really strong friendship... like seriously... cuz they are the ones who were with me for bout 4 years.. and we have really grown together.. watched each other change and all... for the better of course and more Godly... hehe...

thoughts...

at lastttt!!! i finally got my blog... i wanted to get blogspot for so long... but i was too lazy.. so i settled for xanga at first.... but i would rather prefer blogspot cuz its.... much nicer... hehe.. lolz... so anyway... let me start babbling before i go crazy with this things stuck in my head...


firstly.... have u ever felt so confused? have u ever wondered what im gonna do to this situation that im in? its like suddenly u feel that no one is of help at all.. like everyone is there to lend a listening ear... but no one has the solution for that... and whenever i pray to God asking whether we're meant to be... and if we're not meant to be... please help me lose this feeling... but noooo... it didnt happen... arghhh.. i guess its my decisions... God just gives us choices for our everyday life... and whatever we choose, He'll be right there for us...

have u ever gone through this time where... u suddenly fall for a person? like u have never thought u will fall for this guy... but suddenly one day... u start to think things through.. u suddenly feel this special feeling for this person... and u start thinking bout... "wahhh... what if we're together.. and u start to imagine a future relationship with that person... its like arghhhhh... *pulls hair* and ur "girlfriends" are like saying... "i never knew u will fall for him" or "are u sure bout this feeling?" or "*gasp* maybe he really like to too" or loads more... and ur brain starts to wonder and think and think and think none stop... and when u want to stop thinking... it comes more and more... isnt that frustrating? arghh...

have u ever?

have u ever loved somebody so much
it makes u cry
have u ever needed someone so bad
u cant sleep at night
have u ever tried to find the words
but they dont come out right
have u ever

have u ever been in love so bad
you'd do anything to make them understand
have u ever searched for words to get u in their hearts
but u dunno what to say
and u dunno where to start

have u ever found the one u dream ed of all of ur life
you'd do just anything to look into their eyes
have u finally found the one you've given ur heart to
only to find that one won't give their heart to u
have u ever closed ur eyes and dreamed that they were there
and all u could do is wait for a day when they will care

what do i gotta do to get u in my arms baby
what do i gotta say to get to ur heart
to make u understand how i need u next to me
gotta get u into my world
cuz baby i cant sleep