p s a l m s 1 3

"O Lord, how long will U forget me? forever?
how long will U look the other way?
how long must i struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart everyday?
how long will my enemy have the upper hand?

turn and answer me, O Lord my God
restore the sparkle in my eyes or i will die
dont let me enemies gloat, saying " we have defeated him(her)!"
dont let them rejoice over my downfall

but i rejoice in Ur unfailing love
i will rejoice because U have rescued me
i will sing to the Lord
because He is good to me"

-new living translation-


last night during prayer meeting... God spoke to me. i havent been having the desire to pray. whenever i do my QT, i just sit there, read the verses, and then just stare into blank space, trying to pray. i speak in tongues... and try to pray........ but..... no words seem to come out of my mouth. then after a while, i start singing a few worship songs... and that's it. times up. time to get out of bed and get ready for college.

but last night... last night... everyone was talking bout prayer. pastor and the ppl who went out to share a few verses. all that touched my heart was bout prayer. God was speaking to me. but... why this morning, when i wake up, i dont have the urgency to pray? i dont have the urgency to do my QT? and so... i gave in to my flesh and continued sleeping till i really have to wake up.

like the verse that andrew shared last night. psalms 63.. the verse that touched me was v 6

"on my bed i remember U; i think of U through the watches of the night"

that made me think of the times when i sit on my bed early in the morning to do my QT. i remember God. yes i do. but why dont i have the urgency to talk to Him? if u really love someone, u would wanna talk to the person for hours. spend time with the person as long as u can. but why dont i have such desire to do the same with God? sigh... i guess there's always an up and down times right? there are dry times and super oh-i-love-U-God times. i pray and hope this dry time would end soon. like real soon. hate this feeling now u know.