silence

yes... that's the name of the chinese series im chasing after now. should watch it. it's on 8tv from 7-8 pm everyday.

anywaysss.. the girl in the show. name is zhao shen shen. she's mute. so one part of the scene, one of the lady was saying something mean bout why she doesnt like kids. then shen shen was thinking... why do ppl who can speak, do not speak of nice things?

that made me wonder. yeah, it's very true. to me.... im the kind of person that if im hurt by one, i tend to say something hurting back to one. sigh. that's exactly what i've been praying for. been praying that i'll think before i say or act.

so happen... this morning as i was doing my QT, it was talking bout learning from my mistakes. wahh.. seriously!!! bahsss.. real challenge. i seriously felt like the fool that God was talking bout in proverbs.

FOOL in Hebrew means

a person who never learns. they dont think through the consequences of their actions

as they walk near a cliff, they dont sense the danger or consider what will happen if they fall. only when they're broken at the bottom of the cliff do they start thinking about how to fix it.


im gonna end here by saying this and also asking God to help me be a
wise person
a person who learns from mistakes
who thinks through the consequences
who senses the danger or consider what will happen before i fall and am broken at the bottom



* let every choice u make, every place u go, every relationship u nourish and develop be an intentional pursuit of God's best and what is good for u and for those u love *



wisdom is the ability to choose the best, most God-honoring course of action in any situation





have a great and wonderful holiday =)
God bless

summary presentation no 2

here's my continuation to my attempt of finding a 4 page article for my summary presentation. im currently deciding on my topics. what i want to write about. as i was sitting in front of my comp, trying to think of topics and whatever that sounds interesting to me. the words "celebrity marriage" came into my mind. cuz for years... ever since i learnt bout the constant break-ups and multiple divorces that celebrities go through... i began to wonder what is in their minds. if they're are counting the days till they get divorced, why then do they get married in the first place?

what i feel so mind boggling bout is that isnt marriage supposed to be eternal, forever, 2 lovers sharing the same bond, 2 hearts coming together to become one, etc etc. u get the gist. marriage is suppose to be a sacred thing, a holy matrimony, a precious promise that u have with a certain someone that is meant to be kept forever. no matter how hard the going goes, one should try to keep the passion that one once had for each other.

and doesnt the vows mean a thing? it isnt just a few sentence of nonsense that u say to each other. it is suppose to come straight from the heart. a promise or a pledge that u'll stick to the one u love through thick and thin. it's really sad to hear when couple's decide to end their marriages. some is giving up even after years of being together. hearing all the things that they're willing to do for each other, all the money that they're willing to spend for each other are just waiting to be thrown down the drain

kenny's & redbox

on thursday.. i met up with nat at kenny roger's. long time since i've eaten there so decided to go there. i must say that though the chicken doesnt taste as good as nando's, there is more side dishes to choose from than u could imagine. real mind boggling. ahhaa then teck meng came and join us. actually we were suppose to go to redbox. then wanted to change it to mahjong or gin rummy. but in the end, we found ourselves in redbox. ahhaa. long time since i've been there. i was quite shy at the beginning actually. cuz nat's bf was there and it was the first time that i met him. so cannot be crazy u know. haha but after a while.... being together with a bunch of crazy ppl. there's no reason to be shy but to let ur crazy side come out. ahaha! i really had fun that time. but when i went home. i had to face reality again and go back to my sane state of mind. bahs.

* dungu ah wong & i *
her real name is natalie btw. ahaha!

* nat & kim *
didnt take pic with tm cuz he had to leave early

* kim *
miss her craziness

oh oh oh btw.. yesterday i was suppose to be preparing my lesson. but decided to take a break from it and decided to count how much i have in my super duper heavy i'll-break-my-hand-if-i-carry-it piggy bank. hahaa. and this kevin said that there's no use counting what's inside cuz i'll just end up with 40 bucks. ish! look down on me eh?! look down on how much coins i can save?! sheesh! i got more than he thought weiiii! *sticks out tongue*

* me coins *
my dad help me save some 50 cents too =)

* dedicated to mr. kevin ng hou shin! * =)

I LOVE U BABY! =)

summary presentation

oh no oh no oh no!!!! i dont know what to do talk bout during my presentation. we finally manage to get the lecturer to put us into groups but it was a friday that she decided to do so.. so didnt have time to go around and form groups and think of what to write bout. so now im left without any group and without a topic to talk bout! argh! how now laaaa??!!! can die can die! when i want to sit down and think bout what to write.... nothing comes into mind! seriously *faint* i dont know what to research bout and i have to pass it up on monday. see la see la. procastination. told myself that i wont procastinate but now look where am i? i have nothing to write bout and no group to be in!! help me help me!!!!! *pulls hair*

continuation

forgot to mention bout my accounts. kevin and delz knows how much im struggling in my subjects, in my college. but this accounts is seriously... ughhhh!!! no comment! once i get the hang of it.. once i get used to a certain way things are done and all..... we have to go on to another chapter and i start to get confused again. i used to think maybe accounts should be a good career for me cuz i love money and i love to count. hahaa. so it should be good right? but the disadvantages and the headache that comes with accounts is really unbearable. therefore.... i decided to change my career. hahaa.

but.... here i am. stuck with my accounts. getting a headache everytime my lecturer starts a new chapter. i can feel my brain juice getting sucked out. it's not slowly getting sucked out but rather getting vacuumed out. right out of me. straight away! sighhhh!

time management

well well well....
i feel like there's so many things piling up! i need some wisdom in managing my time. here's a few items that is due by this week

1. stick double-sided tape behind stars for the cradle rolls attendance
2. do research for english
3. do my accounts homework
4. prepare for my lesson this sunday
5. arrange my notes

arghhh!!! how la how la. i dont know what subject i wanna do for my english presentation and i know nuts bout my accounts and im not very good in teaching the babies. sigh. this is bad. if i cant even teach a bunch of babies... how can i teach kindergarten kids next time????

i know whatever im suppose to finish up by this week is gonna be quite easy for some of u.. but it's not for me at all!!!!! it's gonna be so so hard! sighhhhhh. i know i know. i shouldnt be so negative. i should be positive and tell myself that i can do it with God's strength. but but but.... sighh =(

today i was sitting in my accounts class and i was talking to myself. ahhaa. i looked around me. at my surroundings and at my friends and even when i was walking towards college. i cant believe it that im in college. before this im like bumming around and playing a fool. but now im actually studying again. no more playing around, no more "free time". like i have classes during vbs man! i cant go for vbs!!! argh!

then now.... i gotta learn ways to study again. how to manage my time well. trust me... during my homeschooling, i've never learnt time management. before this, time management wasnt even in my vocab. sigh. i dont know how am i gonna cope with exams, assignments, research, presentations, etc etc.

tmr im gonna have a short quiz for math and im suppose to be starting with my research for a 4-page article to be summarized and be fitted into a 20 minute presentation. and this is individual presentation u know. a freaking whole 20 minutess!!! im already starting to think of what nonsense im gonna talk bout. sighhh!!!

anyway... gotta go get ready now. gonna go have dinner with the 5 chee mui's. nat, kim, st, eden, and me. long time since we've been able to sit down and hang out just the 5 of us. sigh! but i can only escape my worries for a while. by the time i come home to my room..... i'll be surrounded by worries again! but im not gonna let it ruin my night!

pictures pictures!

a sleepover at delz's house then a picnic ( michie's wish ) at lake gardens

* she's not only my ketua biri biri but a sister that i can count on in times of joy or sadness *

* 2 ppl that i hold dearly in my heart *

* the sleepover gang *

* the food *

* it was quite a nice hut... till the ants invaded *


* dont we look so happy and so matching? haha *

* this looks like a cover of a movie too *

* my justea sayang *

this was when bryon came to msia. so we had dim sum in the morning. then we changed plans till we decided to play pool, then played foosball, then went to ed's house to watch john tucker must die, then went to delz's house to play taboo. then we went and eat bak kut teh. was a super fun day!

* in asia cafe *

* only love the game when i can enter some balls *
hahah

* then moved on to foosball *
quite fun but abit frustrating


* yummy yummy bak kut teh *



dinner at jln imbi & bon ton!

* camwhoring in the car *
we had to wait for one of the youth's parent to come and pick him up

* my sayang *


* yian *
our friendship has truly grown =)

* the chocolate mud cake that melts in ur mouth *
i can taste it just by looking at the picture
*yum yum*

* a super long name *
cant remember the name. but not as nice as the choc mud cake =)

the story of us finding bon ton was seriously funny. when we were finishing our super yummy and delicious dinner... we were wondering how to go to bon ton. cuz i suddenly remembered that bon ton has moved and we didnt know where they moved to. so decided to call yvonne they all but no one picked up. so i called joanne. then she explained and i thought she knew how to go. so finally we got lost. was turning here and there. then we came to a 4-sided junction or whatever u call it. then kevin said turn left and yian was like yeah.. think we should turn left. so when we turned left. then it was a straight road. then guess what we saw nearing the end of it????? BON TON!!!!! we were like oh my goodness!!! thank u God!!!! hahaha. so finally we got our dream dessert =) yummy yummy

needed

WARNING : if u want to read this post. read it. but pls dont talk bout it to me. unless ur God or if u are mentioned here

bout my post yesterday... it's pretty hard to apply it in my life. it's pretty hard to tell my head and heart that. i dont know what to do

there's alot of stuff going on in my mind that i dont know how to put it in words. words that cant really decipher my feelings. words that has limitations to explaining my feelings. i guess u can only get to know what's going on in my mind if u are me or GOD.

isnt it funny? that i myself cant put in words how i feel? i know for sure there is some certain things that i feel right now

i feel that i need one more than one do
i feel that i want one more than one do
i feel that i love one more than one do
i feel that i want to spend time with one more than one do
i feel that i miss one more than one do
i feel that i plan stuff to do with one more than one do

but all those words that i say up there...... doesnt really sum up what i REALLY REALLY feel.

p.s: one might not feel the same way i do & comments bout this post is not allowed



im writing this not to make u guys worried or wonder what's wrong with me. i just want to write out my true feelings. that's why maybe i shouldnt make my blog known cuz then ppl might start to make conclusion or start to think maybe i need some help or counselling.

Christ be in my head

this is the time when i should give thanks to God that im finally in a college or rather having something to do. to occupy myself from myself. isnt it ironic that we're told that we should love ourselves. but here i am.... keeping myself away from me. well, let me explain more. before u guys get confused and think that i have some brain malfunction. btw, i think i am having some. found out cuz of thinking skills. haha. anyways... back to me explaining.

u know last time when im so free, with nothing else better to do than to sit down and "kill" myself with thoughts that i makes me depressed.

well now...
im busy with coursework,
busy with getting my homework done,
and trying to get my 10 hours of sleep that i used to have
i have something to occupy myself with other than "killing" myself with unneccessary thoughts

it should be good right?
that now i have my own stuff to do and all,
have new friends
but why do i still feel the kick inside of me
when one has one's own plans
when one has something better to do other than spend time with me
why do i still feel like before?
before i started college?

sigh. cant do anything bout it but commit all my thoughts, feelings, and emotions to God. i have been struggling with controlling my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. that i really cant take it anymore. then this morning, laziness crept in. didnt feel like doing my QT but i had this prompting in my heart to do it. so i did. and guess what it was talking bout? it was bout thoughts.

learnt to let the Holy Spirit in to take control of my mind,
to check my thoughts not by how it feels but by whether i know it is true

let me end by saying this.......

* may the mind of Christ my Savior live in me from day to day,
by His love & power controlling all i do & say *

last day of orientation.. which is also no 2

sorry forgot to update bout the 2nd day. but i have nothing much except complains. what happen was that i was suppose to have orientation from 10-12 only! then after that i can run off (or maybe drive off) to find kevin for lunch..then come back cuz han lian needed the car... then wait for night to come for kevin to come over for dinner then watch movie NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM. but noooooooo!!! the orientation ended at 11 then the lecturer said that there'll be a departmental meeting at 1-2 pm. note : 1 - 2 PM! one whole hour! and it was compulsory and that ATTENDANCE will be taken. another note : notice the caps on the word attendance? explain later =)

so my friend & i tried to settle our bm stuff. cuz we did homeschooling. so hopefully we're able appeal for the foreign bm. but the ppl were taking too long to tell us what we should do. so i drove home to pass the car back cuz i thought i wont be able to be in time for han lian to use the car and so on so forth. too lazy to explain the whole thing. but the main points is that i couldnt find kevin for lunch, have to rush home, rest for a while, then rush back to college. so i reached back in college at the dot of 1. went to find the lecture hall with my friends. got lost for a moment trying to find the place. then u know what???? we sat there, listening to a repetition of things being said during the 1st day & the morning orientation for only 10-15 mins!!!!! can u believe it????

i did all the rushing just for 10-15 mins of nonsense? of redundant repetition of themselves? dont we all know the importance of attendance and consequences already???? the most important question is whether they are tired of repeating themselves over and over again. seriouslyyyy!!! they didnt even take ATTENDANCE! and they said they wanted to talk bout activities and all for our program. but noooo!!! nothing bout activities whatsoever. unless u consider exams and attendance as activities. felt like killing them!! arghh!! oh wait wait. now i remember. they told us bout some pre-u dinner in sunway hotel. but that took like what.... 5 mins??? i dont even think it was 5 mins! so had to wait for kevin to come. thank God i had friends to wait with for a while till they had to leave then i was left alone. but thank God for handphones that is equipped with mp3 & games. so managed to occupy myself before kevin came.

ugh! the 2nd day of orientation was seriously horrid

orientation day no 1

today i had my very first orientation. if u ask me..... it was seriously a W A S T E of timeeee!!!! arghhhhh!!!! bahhsss.. didnt know why in the world i went. i went left my house really early thinking that there'll be a jam. thank God i didnt leave at 730. i left at 7.45-ish and i reached there by 8. my orientation was suppose to start at 8.30. i already gave them some allowance time considering the malaysian spirit of lateness. but nooooooo... i guess wrongly. the orientation only start at 10 something. i practically waited for 2 scary scary S C A R Y hours mannnn! (i'll explain later why) it was really a bore.

but i guess that 2 hours did me some good. reason why... i reached college and felt really out of place right away. everyone seemed like they knew each other. everyone had someone to talk to. but me.... i was just standing around. sms-ing and complaining.then finally we could register and go to the auditorium. but nooooooo.. the lights weren't on. nothing was on. so they asked us to go down to the cafeteria and wait for a while. gosh! seriously! *bang head*

even at that time i forgot the power of prayer. i forgot that i should keep asking God to help me. but the 1 + hour waiting in the auditorium for ppl to come.... i finally remembered that God is like the best person to talk to at that moment. the best person to confide with, the best person to talk to, the best person to praise. therefore, i did that and i realized that it really calmed me down, took away the fears and sitting alone didnt bother me anymore. cuz i can feel that God is really right there with me.

to cut the long story short. i managed to meet friends who was studying there, managed to meet back my primary school friends. 2 of them. interesting eh! how wonderful! and managed to find 2 new friends that is doing the same foundation as i am! praise God!

now i gotta wait for another orientation tmr and see how it goes! but im positive now that this starting of the school year is gonna be better! way way better than today! =) cuz i know that God will never fail me and that He'll be there with me! =)

fondue party

had a fondue party in ching choo's house on the 27th. it was really fun la. didnt feel weird at all. in the beginning it was quite quiet. we were just talking bout normal stuff. but when we started eating the oh-so-yummy-and-thick chocolate. all of us started going crazy. hahaha. it was truly a day to remember =)

* left - right : elaine, ching choo, eve, me, yian, jess, just *

* the yummy yummy choc! *

* yian & just *

* then finally the whole group *
lay yan came later =)

before we had the fondue party. of course we went and visit ashley and her cute lil baby!

R Y A N low =)

blessed new year everyone!

havent been updating my blog. im sure some of u who has been coming to my blog regularly is getting bored at looking at my sad and depressed post. haha. well... i've been really lazy and of course being busy going out getting pressies and all. so that's why. and everything has been piling up. all the events and stuff that im too lazy to blog bout it la. haha.

so decided to update on the new year. reminiscing bout what had happened. how has God brought me through the year. truly it's been a joy. with God.... i dont mind going through the ups and downs in life cuz i know He'll always be there for me. it's like even though my mind is telling me that He's not there for me and all. but in my heart.... i know He's there for me. every single second, every single minute, every single hour, every single day, every single..... u get the picture =) hahaha

today as i was reminded when i was doing my quiet time. in isaiah 43:18, to forget the former things and not dwell in the past. which is a very good verse to start the new year with. not dwelling in past, in the what-should-have-been, in the i-should-have-done-or-said-this.

here's some pictures bout what i've been occupying my time with =)
more pictures than i've imagined
sorry.. haha.. dont have to see if u dont want =)

* dinner for michie in italianis *

however u spell that restaurants name. ahhaa

* seeing the campsite *
again.. before camp


* thank God for friends that will walk with me through life *

* nice photo frame *
hehe
this is during yf camp di

* my dorm *

* adeline, jess, claire *
in the dorm

* during a hp event *


* cg outing *


* yf christmas party *


* on christmas day *
* watchnight *

* pray that a new year with my darling will be full of joy, laughter & sweet memories! *

it was great being able to start of the new year with church friends. listening to all the testimonies, watching the video for the youth, and of course. not to forget.. taking lots of pictures. was debating whether to put the silly pictures.... but better not. better to keep all of u thinking that we're all sane sane ppl.. hahaha

BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL OF Y O U !!!!!!!!! =)