emotions still taking over

its been a long long time since i've posted huh. i've been kinda lazy to write actually. haha. cuz i was so into reading the books that delicia borrowed me. well, my life has been kinda normal lately. but one thing. after reading the books that delicia had borrowed me, i felt different. i was so confident in my faith with God. i didnt doubt at all whether God is listening. and i felt that i could talk to Him any time any where. cuz in the book, whenever the girl has trouble, she'll just start praying in her head, pray out loud for other ppl, just pray whenever she feels the Holy Spirit leading. i really felt inspired when i read the book. last time i used to think that we dont need to keep praying. like what's the use of praying since God knows it all. but after reading the book, i realized the power of prayer. certainly prayer can move mountains. it may not be literally mountains. but stumbling blocks in ur life. and i wished that my family was like the girl's family in the book. she's a pastor's daughter and it was easy for her to talk to her family bout anything that she's going through. i wish i had that priviledge to just pour out my feelings to my parents and family and that i could pray with them whenever i feel sad or need help. it certainly made me want to grow up to be that kinda parent for my kids next time. hehe. i've finally have the passion to read books. i used to find reading boring. but now. WOAH! reading is superb and fun and u get to learn loads of stuff. hehe. and of course, improve on ur english. =)

tmr is camp. and i just dont feel prepared. i feel like i want to stay home and not go anywhere but lay on my bed. i know that satan is putting that thought in me. and i need to be strong and ask God to help me focus on Him instead of anything else. i kept asking myself why i dont feel excited and happy to go for camp anymore. i still havent get that answer yet. but hopefully i can prepare my heart before i go for camp.

sometimes i wish i was in HER shoes. having the guy of ur dreams to love u and care for u. i keep telling myself that he's not worth all my trouble and attention if he doesnt love and care for me back. sometimes i'll go into the depression mode. i mean i can say that im over it and trying to be cheerful now. but of course there are times when i will think back. but oh well. after that ill just snap out of it and be happy again. hehe. sometimes i wish i can not let my emotions take over me. but its hard. i guess i should start giving my emotions to God huh. maybe i should. hehehe. well, i guess i better get going. should be packing now. but too lazy. maybe ill do it tmr. hmmmm.. ahhhh.. think bout it later. i wont be blogging for few days. since ill be in camp and all. hehe. *cheers* =)