wow

i worked with a new girl today. the branch manager. i met her once la. the first time i saw her was during her off day. she just decided to drop by the store for a while. but i didnt get to work with her until today. she was really fun, funny, crazy, silly, and makes u laugh with everything that she says.

there was a convo that made me beam with joy
angie by the way.. that's her name : so esther do u have a boyfriend?
me : yeah
angie : where did u meeet him.... met him in church?
me : *shocked* it didnt register in my head at the mention of church.. yeah, how did u know im a christian?
angie : alahhhhhh... plssss... ur face radiates it la

after that i was like so shocked and so stunned. that is really what i've been praying for. that ppl can see God in me and i dont have to tell them that im a christian and all. somemore she even knows that i've been a christian since young. but the sad thing is that she was a christian before. she said she gave up. she has been a christian since young and she decided to give up. isnt that a sad thing to hear? i was really sad when i heard that.

then i thought..
will that happen to me next time?
will i be like her?
giving up on God?
giving up on what i've believed in all my life?

how can one just suddenly decide to give up on something they have believed in since young?
how can one lose that believe?
that love?
that trust?
that faith?
surely something must have happened that triggered that decision

surely i dont wanna be like that
i cant imagine myself no longer going to church
no longer having SOMEONE to fill the void of my heart
no longer able to lean, trust, hold on to someone
no longer to experience the unwavering faithfulness
no longer having the unconditional love

i thank God
unlike us
He will always remain faithful even when we dont
He'll always be there for us
He'll always be loving us
He'll always be our Father
our Savior
our Lover
who always wants the best for us
who always gives the best to us
He'll always be the one who has loved us first