help me God!

i have been receiving new challenges now a days....

1. we're doing the evangelism series for youth. and im the group leader. and group leaders are to share the gospel.
   
2. discipleship class. my group have to memorize psalms 119

awww mannn.. this is baddd.. for my discipleship class. im in the E.K.E.A group. the ppl are elaine, kevin, me, and andrew... we have to memorize psalms 119 as a group project. at the beginning when elaine suggested that we memorize that.... i was seriously like not happy with it. but what to do.. i dont have any better ideas for the group project. cuz if i say i dont wanna do it.. i should at least come up with another idea to be considered. but but but but...... i dont have. so have to do it lo.

the first 12 verses was quite okay la. cuz i like psyche myself up and told myself that with God i can do it. so i manage to memorize the first 12 verses. but when it went on to the next 12 verses........ which is till verse 24..... things kinda got harder for me. i dont know whether it's cuz im relying on my own strength or something. but but but...... it's HARD!

and now we should at least memorize until 50 something i think. verses 40-50 something. and im still stuck at 24. i tried to memorize today. but but but.... slowly slowly im starting to give up. it's like when i think of the verses that are needed to be memorized. im like bahhhssss.. whateverrrr!

i guess i gotta remind myself what's the purpose of us memorizing the verses in the first place. gotta remember that i shouldnt give up. i keep telling myself that i should do this. should take up this challenge so that ppl can see that it's do-able. that it's not an impossible thing. but but but... now im starting to think it myself. that maybe it is impossible.

maybe i shouldnt think that im memorizing the verses for other ppl. maybe i should tell myself that it's for my own good and to help me learn to trust God in this. that He'll help, equip, and grant me the ability to memorize it. and then it'll be a plus point like an extra benefit if ppl get's touched and encouraged by it.

aihs but at the moment..... i feel really sad. feel really down. that i cant memorize it. that i dont have the so-called "umph" to memorize. which is really bad. that shows how important God's word is to me, to my life. aihsss.. im so sorry God. dont let me fail U. dont let me let U down. God pls help me! i need U every single day. more than anything! help me God!