dont know what to do anymore

this is my new blog look.. i hope u guys like it.. i kinda like it.. although i wish it was pink. lolz. hahaha. but i like the 2 rabbits at the end of it. super super cute eh. hehe

there are days where im so happy at where i am. at how far i have gone through. but whenever i get depressed, i seem to forget everything. nothing else mattered besides the problem and sadness that im having. have u ever go through such things? its like everyday...i ask myself what have i done wrong. am i not good enough? why did he moved on and forget bout the promise we made. but i think that sometimes we need to remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason..for the good of those that loves God. maybe God has something way way better in store for us. that's what my friends always say. that He has a better one for me than this "blind" guy that im not letting go. haha. dont know.

friends.. u have hi-bye friends-to-friends that u go to for help-to-good friends whom u talk to often-to-close friends whom u share everything with-to-bestfriends.. have u ever had this bunch of close friends that u guys do pretty much everything together and that u've spent like almost more than half of ur teenage days together. seeing each other in school each day or the times where u get to go out. doing silly things together. hanging out or lepaking together. plan ur future together. even wanting to go to the same country to study so that we all can stay together and continue our lives together. seeing each other grow spiritually and of course more matured. plan outings together, plan dinner and parties together. but all of a sudden. everything changes. u no longer keep in contact with them and the only time u talk to them is like NEVER. its like all of a sudden ur close friends have become hi-bye friends. u dont go and catch a movie with them or even have lunch or dinner together. no longer call each other or even chat online. no longer do things together. its like being strangers already. i guess guy-guy friends can keep in touch way way better since they play football or futsal together. but what about girl-girl friends or girl-guy friends. what bout them? u have more friends and move on to different schools, different lifes. dont u think ur friendship with them are in the past di. like everything has changed. i just feel really sad la. why dont some things remain the same? why must things change? isit for the better? isit for our own good that things changed? if this happens when i went to a different school. what will happen when all of us have graduated and gone of to college or worse. some of us may even stay back a little longer. what will happen then? will we still keep in touch since now we dont keep in touch. then what's the point of having friends? why dont we just call them strangers whom we have crossed paths with during a point of our lifes and they have made a few footprints in our life. wouldnt that be better? i have really thought alot after the friendship day that my youth had. i thought alot bout ppl who are called my friends and all. and whether im treating them the way that they should be treated. sometimes words and actions can really hurt us. unknowingly or purposely, i dont know. but it really can hurt. and i just want to say im sorry to those i've hurt purposely or unknowingly. maybe that's why u guys dont treat me as friends anymore. i guess i better stop here. need to study for a few test that im having tmr