what should i do?

i have so many questions right now
things that i should choose
the choices that i should make

i remember there was once during discipleship class
cia ask us to think bout the choices we've made recently
what she said was true....
...."God gives us choices to make. He doesnt close all the doors and open only O-N-E door for u..."

should i make the choice based on convenience?
should i make the choice based on my mood?
should i make the choice based on finance?

when i asked my mum for money for camp and also for the retreat
........i had the usual answers
it made me regret on going for the retreat
made me regret on considering going for camp
and now i really dont know what i should do

it has been tough
making choices


sometimes i wonder
if ppl offer to pay for u
or pay some part of the amount for u
would u consider it as a blessing
or
say ...."aiya... 'mm ho yee see' laaaa."
then
u go home and ask God why God didnt bless u when u were facing financial difficulties

maybe blessings comes in different forms
and we dont know it
maybe it comes in a free meal or drink?
maybe it comes in a perfectly wrapped box?


it reminds me of the story bout
a man standing on top of the roof cuz of the flood
and he prays and ask God for help
then a boat comes by and ask the man whether he needs a ride or something
then he says noooo, im waiting for my God to help me
then another boat comes by again asking the man the same thing
and the man replies no, im waiting for my God to help
then i think the guy dies or something
and he goes up to heaven and ask God why didnt He sent help when the man asked Him to
God replied saying, "I did, I sent 2 boats to rescue u, but u didnt go on it"



i guess sometimes we expect something great, eye-opening, and mind-boggling kinda help from God but we'll never know in what way or what form that help comes


decided to make my post colorful cuz my day has been really colorful =) and i hope my days to come will be too =)