humour

oh dear God
You have such a good sense of humour
but why cant i laugh?
i know that You have plans for me
how do i see the bigger picture?

i've learned from last night's sermon
but no, my stubborn heart does not want to do it
i want it my way
i want what i want


how can i be happy when i just want to cry?
whatever i want is limited

is going to church bad?
is going for retreats, camps bad?
if i no longer go to church, u'll be sad
if i go to church, u complain
what do u want me to do?

am i going clubbing?
am i staying out late every night?
am i doing wrong things?
no
i'm doing none of the above
but why do u make me feel like i'm doing worse than those?

sometimes i think maybe i should turn the other way
would that make u feel better?
if i drink, club, do drugs, come home the next morning
would that make u feel better?


i have nothing else to say