everything and more

wow..... feels like it has been ages since i've last updated. wonder why i havent been updating. dont feel like updating anymore cuz my life has been so boring. it's not so emmm... exciting as some people.


i was doing my usual things this afternoon cuz normally i wont be able to use the comp once wing lian comes back from work. i was blog-stalking for a while. and i came across this blog. i shall not say who's but it made me think. made me remember bout yesteryear.


i suddenly felt like i was somewhere different. felt like i was caught in the middle of no where. my mind kept rewinding without me have any control whatsoever. i felt like i was in the movie "click". u know the part where he could go and choose the part of his life and see what happened. i felt like that




im the kind of person who loves to think bout the past
think bout what-ifs
think bout should have's




i went back to the time where a part of my heart died away. the time where i felt like i dont know why he dont love me anymore. dont know what to do with my life. the time where i felt like everything and everyone in the world is against me




when we became nothing else but friends, i thought that i wont be able to find another guy like him. well, u see..... at that moment, i thought that he was the one. thought that he was THE one that i would wanna marry someday. i refuse to listen to my parents, to my leaders, to my friends. i shut them out and continued on this relationship that i myself knew would end someday



however, when the relationship came to an end, though i knew it would end, i couldnt help but to wallow in sadness and depression. i felt like there's no more sunshine, no more smiles, no more hope. but im glad that today, im proud to say that i can have tons of sunshine, tons of smiles, tons of hope because of God. He has proved that He'll never leave me. that He'll never let me go through anything alone.




i never thought that i would be who i am today. i would never imagine myself teaching in cradle roll class. never imagine myself being involve in youth camp or even the youth for that matter. never imagine myself bringing a friend to Christ. never imagine myself being more and more in love with God


most importantly, i never thought i would love again. i never thought that i would find someone who loves me so much (besides God)




it's so funny whenever i talk to kevin, i always reminiscence of the times when we were getting to know each other. dont get me wrong..... we are still getting to know each other. ehehhe.

we were always sms-ing each other. chatting on msn. i was always giving him wake-up calls so that he'll be able to go for his never-will-happen-morning-jog. he used to drag jon along just so that we can watch movies together without feeling awkward




i've learnt something very useful today. sometimes a relationship can be short. sometimes a relationship can be forever. it lasts forever because we choose to love that person, choose to accept that person, choose to be with that person, choose he/she.



sometimes u think that what u have or what u want is THE best that God can give u. but it's not... it's not... God can give u something far much better, far much greater than u can ever think or imagine.







sorry... quite a wordy post. ahaha. dont feel like posting up pictures =)

HAVE A
GREAT DAY! =)

hope u were blessed by this post


p.s: i love u, babes =)