*tears*

sometimes i wish things will be like last time. when i read back my chat logs with someone. i realize how much we can talk bout. how much we can crap and laugh. but now. things are so different. and we seldom have stuff to talk bout. why isit when u like someone. u'll be so shy. and u try to find words to say but u just cant. why did i ever like him? why must i choose to like him and make things so different now???? sighh. but i guess sometimes its hard to control ur feelings huh? esp. now. when i decide to not like him. something will happen and my heart will soften again. sometimes i just wish i can have no feelings. arghhh! its just so hard to get back up again! help me God! i really really need help! i cant stand this feeling anymore. cuz somehow. deep down inside. i feel that both of us has a chance to be together. or maybe i REALLY REALLY long for and want a chance for us 2 to be together. sometimes when i see couples together so happy and sitting in the car together after shopping at the mall. walking around shopping for clothes or furniture together. i really am jealous. and i really wish that i can do that with him. but i know my wish wont come true. cuz he likes someone else. i really feel like crying, breaking down to a million pieces. my heart is like smashed till u can even patch it back. words cant describe my feeling now. u just have to experience the same thing as im experiencing now. then u'll know. i think i better stop talking bout this thing. if not i really am gonna die. jump down from my condo. then u guys can see me in heaven. okay okay. i shall stop di. so ppl who is reading this. pls dont add any comment.