i so hate dreams now!

sometimes i really wonder why must we dream. isit because we think too much bout a certain thing or situation? that's why we dream what we are thinking or worrying so much? someone pls tell me how do u take away dreams? like can we off a certain part of us to stop dreaming? maybe it sounds funny cuz why would someone think of offing our dreams. seriously! cuz dreams has been affecting me lately.. its not cuz im having scary dreams. its cuz i've been thinking bout something too much lately. so when i dream it happens. and ill wake up really miserable! this morning when i wake up. i didnt have the smile on my face like i used to have anymore. i really felt like dieing. okay okay. maybe im going too extreme. i dont really want to talk bout what happened in my dreams. its a long story anyway bout why i would dream or even think bout such a thing. but something that happened in my dreams really made me like stay far far away from 2 ppl. and 1 of them really mean alot to me. its u know.. my special someone. who'll always stay in my heart. and the other one is my good chee mui. i've been reminded bout something in my Bible subject. i've been saying its my have-to-do subject in my school. since its a christian school. its that we christians will undergo trials of our faith. we will not always understand the reason we are in difficult times. God, however, has a purpose in everything He allows to come our way. and the writer James wanted to encourage us by sharing with us some benefits of such trials. in James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever u face trials of many kinds, because u know that the testing of ur faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that u may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." The christian will never know that God's Word in his soul is ever effective until it is applied to the test of trials. When God's Word is applied to trials, victory will be seen. Trials also deepen the christian's prayer life and provide opportunity for production and future rewards. sometimes i really feel that its SO hard to life in this world. that sometimes i even feel like dieing. seriously. i told God that im really tired of this things that im going through and that i dont want to live. i told Him that im sorry that i dont appreciate Him for creating me. i told Him why dont just take my life and give it to someone else who'll appreciate Him. but now im slowly slowly put to work all the things that i've been learning. considering all the things i've learn in my Bible. i've finally realized its not a dread learning all this things. so i guess its all in God's timing. and His timing and our timing is so different. we're like wanting everything to be fast! settle fast! do this fast! like dash. so fast in running here and there. but His timing is like teaching us to be patient, stronger, and growing more in faith. kinda like how a gold-shaper or whatever they are called. they have to put the HARD HARD HARD gold into a really hot furnace and slowly burn it till it melts. THEN they can shape it into a nice and wonderful shape. there will always be this sentence which will stay in my heart forever. in the planet shakers conference, sam evans said that the Holy Spirit is like water. who will water the soil and make it soft and easy for the planter to grow nice and big wonderful trees. and we are like the soil. we need the Holy Spirit to water us. to grow big and strong trees for God. and we were singing this song. one of the verse says that "God please dont pass me by! i dont want to leave without touching u!" truly i've learned alot in the planet shakers conference. alot of the sermons really touch my heart and kinda prepared me for what im gonna face the next few year or probably the rest of my life cuz trials and tribulations will not just end when u reach adulthood. i think it'll worsen and all. but guess how u look at it. u can choose to look at it as what i said bout what i've been reminded or like dread living and asking God why. haha. ahhhh! i feel so relieved saying all this. like a weight has been lifted of my shoulder. and im wondering what i should do next time. i wanted to be a photographer and all. but suddenly my mum was like since u like kids so much. why dont u work in a kindergarden and all. so im really wondering and asking God what He wants me to do. so continue praying for me. to see what i should do next time. *winkz* gotta get change and help my parents clean up the house so that they can move in. so gonna be busy this few days. not sure when i can blog again. hehe. take care and God bless