here am i

instead of studying for my accounts test tmr which i know i will obviously fail.... i am actually playing with facebook (and by playing... i mean playing with my pet), reading all the blogs that i can find, playing games, and disturbing kevin.


i mean what's the point of studying when this is just a trial exam? it's not counted anyways.... so why am i worrying bout it? well, actually.... to be truthful to myself. by studying this week, i can actually save alot of time the next week stuffing everything into my brains. because the week after next is my finals and i have no idea whatsoever about what im studying this sem. sigh.


what's worse is that though i get so-called "good" grades in my comp and accounts. i still have no idea what am i studying. most of the time i just read and feed my brains and vomit everything out as i do my exam



ewwwwwww.... i feel so gross when i talk bout vomiting and stuff. sheesh. what's wrong with me. must be the skit practice. hahaa. nah, just joking



awww man... i better get going and study my formula's. but what's the point...??? i have no idea how to start on the questions. most of the time i just wait till it's class and then wait till my lecturer tells me every single thing to do and every single answer. sigh. this is bad this is bad


im thankful for this week's trials. it definitely has helped me see how see-tuuu-pidd i am... bahs. faint. whyyyy God...?? whyyyy...??? why am i such a procrastinator????



oh wells... im gonna go rest my brains by playing some games first. then i'll get down to studying


*angelic grin*

tata!!!

im certainly going crazy

cats cats

gonna do abit of promoting for cats. ahahah. cheh wah. siew peng should pay me more money on top of my pay. bahs. nonsense. she better not see this. anyway, as u all know, i was working at cats last week. i worked an extra day cuz one of the workers was still sick. thank God i worked for another day.




that was the day where new stock came in. and i love love love love new stock. eventhough it's extra work.... but i love rummaging through the pile for fresh new yummy clothes other than those that i always see in the shop.




but we didnt manage to finish up clearing the new stock cuz of the many customers who tried a gazillion clothes and only bought a few. word of advice. if ur not getting it and u think it wont look good on u.... pls pls pls... think twice before u try it on. it really kills the workers. u'll understand when u work in that position. my back has been killing me ever since i've started working at cats. cuz of the mountain load of clothes they try.





oh yeah... where was i.... i was talking bout new stock right? as we were packing up the stuff to leave, i notice this huge plastic bag underneath the counter. so the pat kua me decided to rummage through the bag and guess what i found.....

SHADESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

that makes me look like a fly!!!!!

how nice *grins*

this was not all.. there was somemore but i was too lazy to take somemore pictures and i wanted to leave at that time. so oh wells..... hahahaha =)




i almost forgot that cats was bringing in some shades.



oh wells, gotta wait for another month or so till i go back to working at cats =)

oh yeah oh yeah....

they have a blog toooo *click click click to go see*



siew peng should really really pay me now. ahhahaa.

the gardens

kevin and i went to the gardens on friday. we fell in love with that place. it looks so much comfy than the pavillion. before we went, i was reading one of this blog that i stalk, she said that whoever went to the gardens should really try the sofas on the ground floor. i told kevin about it and everytime we wanted to go and sit on the sofa, there'll be like handful of people sitting on the sofa. so being the shy me, i wanted a time where we had the whole sofa place to ourselves. but too bad, we didnt have that chance. so i only managed to try it by the time we had to leave =)



the place is really nice. once we've walked in the gardens and when u moved back to midvalley u can feel the drastic change of atmosphere. it's definitely not as nice to walk in midvalley but still there is more crowd over at midvalley. oh wells, i wonder how are they all gonna compete with each other. seriously.

us

i love this criss crossy way

this effect is really cool
at the other side of the wall, there's about 5 light projectors or something
and around it there's like loads of small little lights
bahs
dont know how to explain la
go see it for urself
kevin says they are trying to kill 2 birds with one stone
sheesh
ahahahha

going up and down the escalator in the robinsons

at the sofa
we laughed and laughed so much

shock

i was so shocked and emmmmm.... flabbergasted today. once was bad enough. but noooo... it was twice. God certainly did not prepare me for today. sigh. well, what happened was that i found out that 2 of my friends (well, cant really call them my friends cuz im not close to them... just emmm... normal friends...? i dont know) anyways.... emmm.. where was i....? oh yeah.... well, siew peng told me today that she had to let go the manager in bangsar. the one who i work with last year.


she was really nice. friendly. she was like a big sister to me. she bought me lunches or dinner. told me what good foods are there in bangsar. what clothes to get from cats whiskers. i was growing to love the manager as well as the other girl (the 3 of us usually work together) the reason why siew peng had to sack the previous manager was cuz she stole from the shop. a couple of times. that's why


so that was a shocker there.......


anyways.... today i started work again at cats. today and tmr to be exact. siew peng called me before the hols, asking me whether me or my friends wanna work.... so i asked this girl in my math class. i cant say that we're close, good buds. but we talk occasionally. mostly bout math and studies. mostly. and i asked my friend whether she wanna work. she was really excited to work at cats cuz it's like her most fav. store or something.


the horrific call came at bout 9 something at night while i was out with kevin. from siew peng. i was surprised that she called me. and guess why she called....? my friend stole from the shop and the manager found out and the manager no longer wants my friend to work at cats. i was so shocked and surprised. kevin was so worried. he was wondering what happen.. cuz i kept apologizing to siew peng. i was so disappointed. seriously. oh my goodness. i told kevin that luckily this happened towards the end of my foundation..... if not i dont know how am i gonna face my friend.


seriously.... i dont know why this is happening to me. but i was doing my QT this morning. and it was talking bout the circumstances in our lives. the bad circumstances. and through that, we should learn to trust God because God can see the bigger picture and we can only see this far. and that God will use our circumstances for the benefit of our future. well, i dont know what is He trying to teach me now. maybe to teach me not to trust ppl so easily. or that ppl i think i can trust will one day betray me. i dont know. sigh. this is so complicated


im still shocked over what has happened. i seriously seriously feel so sorry. i feel so guilty. dont know how am i gonna face siew peng. awwwwwwwwwww man

day trip to kl part 2

well, im not sure whether u guys remember our first adventurous trip to kl via train. *click*


this time on friday, we went to kl again. this time we decided to go to this new shopping complex called the pavillion. we went for pan mee in the morning and off we went to subang ktm train station and there our journey begun. at first, we wanted to go to midvalley's the garden. but we decided pavillion because we can go midvalley anytime. also because we dont know kl roads. so it'll be dangerous for us to drive down to kl.


too bad this time we didnt get anything. we were so depressed because we saw sooo much stuff that we wanted to buy but couldnt. sheesh. nevermind.... i'll go shopping when i work at cats this week. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *evil grin*

just leaving the pan mee place

we parked in carrefour and walked to the ktm station

waiting for the train at the ktm station
now i realize how blue the sky was
bahs

actually, i cant remember where were we
hahaha
bahs
i think we've reached emmmm what's that place called?
isetan or something
the same area as bukit bintang and stuff

we went to pavillion with a goal. we wanted to try out this donut place called j co. or something like that. kennysia.com blogged bout it. but the one that he was talking bout was in jakarta or something. however, we didnt get to achieve our goal because my poor baby's wisdom tooth decided to give him trouble on that day. so cham. he didnt had the mood to do silly and crazy stuff


he was still doing silly stuff but not as silly as his usual self. hahhahaa but we still had fun la.. slipping and sliding our way from shop to shop. ahahaha. if u know what i mean dear =)

our trip however, was cut short by the stupid rain. sighhh.. and this time it wasnt like the last time. it wasnt drizzling. this time we could really see the dark clouds and the wind was so strong. gosh! i was so scared. we wanted to leave at bout 3 something 4 but we had to leave at bout 2 if we dont wanna get caught in the horrible rain




i think it's a sign. a sign that we shouldnt take public transport. because it rained as well the last time we went on our adventurous trip. maybe we should drive next time. ahahah =) but kevin thinks otherwise. so anyway..... when we reached the monorail station, it started drizzling. then when we stopped at kl central, it was raining slightly heavily. and when we reached subang ktm station. fuiyohhhhhhhh!!!!! it was scary!!!!!! the rain was so heavy. the thunderstorm was so loud! everyone had to wait there because if u were to run to ur car, u would be drenched. u would look like u just showered in ur clothes or something. so we wait till the rain subsided which was at bout 3 something 4. bahs *sweat*



so many people were looking at us when we took pictures. they must be thinking what jakuns we were. hahaha

look at how drenched we were
when we ran, the rain subsided a little
but it wasnt drizzling at all
it was fun running in the rain
we laughed till our stomach hurt
hahahaha

he's sweet after all..... ahahahha

usually, i have 2 hour breaks on thursday. so kevin comes earlier to find me for lunch then i'll have an hour class then i'll find him again. then i'll go back. but last thursday, he did something really really sweet for me.

he arrived in college at bout 12

estee: where u wanna eat? i feel like eating wan tan mee
kevin: no no.. we go eat at the mamak (some place near college. which looks really dodgy and gross!)
estee: noooooooooooooooooooo.. i dont wanna eat there. *throws tantrum*
kevin: yesss... we're going there

there's a park opposite of the mamak. so he parked beside the park and we sat there for a while. he said he cooked lunch. maggi mee goreng with chicken drummets. i was shocked. it was so sweet of him. ehhe. the weather was great as well! it was so windy and there was no sun because it rained in the morning. so we sat in the pondok. ate. and we proceeded to the swing. ehhe =)

sorry
it's a little blur
i dont have a good camera okay
it's just my phone

the cook

the satisfied girlfriend

he deserved a kiss

i lubs u babes

that's it..... he's so gonna cook next time. he's so much of a better cook than i am. hahaha. but of course i wanna cook as well.




dear.. i know i didnt show much of a surprise that day. but i really appreciate every effort u've put in to make my day better. thanks so much darling sweetheart honey! =)




p.s: the sun came out and the wind stopped when we decided to leave. God really answered ur prayers huh? ehhehe. if not it'll definitely wont be a fun lunch. ahahaha


p.s i love u

the silly things that we do when we're bored

all of these pictures where editted in my phone

dear God

Dear God,
Pls help me to grow to be who u want me to be. I want to be a person who is loved by everyone. A person that people turn to for advice, comfort, or for just a simple hug. Help me to love myself and to know who i am in Ur sight. Turn my ears from the whispers of the devil to the sweet, loud voice of Urs.

Give me comfort whenever I'm scared and afraid.
Reassure me whenever I feel lost and hopeless.
Let Ur love overflow in me, overflow to everyone around me.
Grant me peace whenever I'm in doubt, whenever i need Ur help.
Pick me up when it's too much and when I'm drowning
Hug me whenever i feel overwhelmed with everything and anything

God, mold me to be a better person day by day. Though i make it a daily routine to complain about the work U are doing in my life, pls dont get angry with me and zap me with Ur very scary lightning. I wanna love U more and more each day. Help me to hold on to Ur promises.



from Ur daughter

wish i knew the answer

we are told to listen closely to what God has to say
to see whether we have the peace in our hearts whenever we do something
but what if u cant hear what He has to say
and u chose something which is not God's BEST for u
and after a few months after making that choice,
u feel that u've made a mistake
the things around shows that it's wrong
thoughts that tell u that u've made the wrong choice

what should u do?

but on the other hand,
maybe ur just over thinking it
maybe ur just over sensitive
maybe it's all in ur mind
maybe u have made the RIGHT choice
but u let circumstances and problems separate u from the truth

life is so full of choices
sometimes i just wish that im forced to make one choice only
no a,b,c,d, or all of the above
i want just a or just b
i dont want to have the freedom to choose
well, most of the time i feel that way
but it's not good to have just one choice

making choices helps u to know who u are
what's ur priority
what or who u let to make the choice for u

sometimes i hate life altogether
but i love life as well
sometimes i hate feelings
but i love it when i feel the butterflies in my stomach, goosebumps, joy, happiness, etc

i learnt during quiet time today
that through trials
we can develop perseverance
by overcoming trials
we are able to come out better and stronger than we were before

but whyyyyy....???
i dont want i dont want
*pouts*
sigh
whatever
sheesh
bahs
grrrrrrr
roarrrrr

baby visitation

kevin and i decided to visit nelson and yvonne on wednesday. wanted to go see their new home. it's so beautiful. we loved it the moment we reached the guard house. hahahaa. the area was nice, their house was gorgeous. really really nice. hahaha

nelson and yvonne

i dont know why i always get to carry him when he's crying
now people are gonna think that i torture him
sigh

i always love to see kevin with kids or babies
just love it =)

LUKE

everything and more

wow..... feels like it has been ages since i've last updated. wonder why i havent been updating. dont feel like updating anymore cuz my life has been so boring. it's not so emmm... exciting as some people.


i was doing my usual things this afternoon cuz normally i wont be able to use the comp once wing lian comes back from work. i was blog-stalking for a while. and i came across this blog. i shall not say who's but it made me think. made me remember bout yesteryear.


i suddenly felt like i was somewhere different. felt like i was caught in the middle of no where. my mind kept rewinding without me have any control whatsoever. i felt like i was in the movie "click". u know the part where he could go and choose the part of his life and see what happened. i felt like that




im the kind of person who loves to think bout the past
think bout what-ifs
think bout should have's




i went back to the time where a part of my heart died away. the time where i felt like i dont know why he dont love me anymore. dont know what to do with my life. the time where i felt like everything and everyone in the world is against me




when we became nothing else but friends, i thought that i wont be able to find another guy like him. well, u see..... at that moment, i thought that he was the one. thought that he was THE one that i would wanna marry someday. i refuse to listen to my parents, to my leaders, to my friends. i shut them out and continued on this relationship that i myself knew would end someday



however, when the relationship came to an end, though i knew it would end, i couldnt help but to wallow in sadness and depression. i felt like there's no more sunshine, no more smiles, no more hope. but im glad that today, im proud to say that i can have tons of sunshine, tons of smiles, tons of hope because of God. He has proved that He'll never leave me. that He'll never let me go through anything alone.




i never thought that i would be who i am today. i would never imagine myself teaching in cradle roll class. never imagine myself being involve in youth camp or even the youth for that matter. never imagine myself bringing a friend to Christ. never imagine myself being more and more in love with God


most importantly, i never thought i would love again. i never thought that i would find someone who loves me so much (besides God)




it's so funny whenever i talk to kevin, i always reminiscence of the times when we were getting to know each other. dont get me wrong..... we are still getting to know each other. ehehhe.

we were always sms-ing each other. chatting on msn. i was always giving him wake-up calls so that he'll be able to go for his never-will-happen-morning-jog. he used to drag jon along just so that we can watch movies together without feeling awkward




i've learnt something very useful today. sometimes a relationship can be short. sometimes a relationship can be forever. it lasts forever because we choose to love that person, choose to accept that person, choose to be with that person, choose he/she.



sometimes u think that what u have or what u want is THE best that God can give u. but it's not... it's not... God can give u something far much better, far much greater than u can ever think or imagine.







sorry... quite a wordy post. ahaha. dont feel like posting up pictures =)

HAVE A
GREAT DAY! =)

hope u were blessed by this post


p.s: i love u, babes =)