oh no *shocked*

haha... i know i know.. the title of this post is abit emmmmmm... sillyyy?? welll... it's really an emergency.. u know why???? wanna know why????? u better want to. u better keep asking me why isit an emergency. hahaa.. ok ok. so fine. im a little crazy. cuz im kinda kinda kinda... a little teesy weeny bit bored. not THAT bored. but yeah... bored. and there's alot going on in my mind right now. i dont really wanna write bout it here.....yet.. maybe ill write it here one day. when i get it all settled and when i get the answers to my questions. maybe maybe. ill see whether i can write it here =) cuz u know.. sometimes......somethings are meant to be kept between 2 ppl only.


ok ok ok. let me get to my emergency. i was reading my post last time. when i was sad and depressed. i mean not to say now a days im no longer sad or depressed. maybe not depressed la. but just sad. u can never run away from sadness. like it's gonna be there. life is full of ups and downs. but how u choose to handle and deal with it is a different thing. it's what changes it. so anyway... why so i keep sidetracking? kakaka. well, as i was saying. my old posts. i used to be able to write poems. and now... i cant seem to think of words that can rhyme. like it's all jumbled up in my mind. do u think it's cuz im not concentrating on my feelings? like i dont really know what im actually feeling? that's why i cant put it into words? is that the main reason? is that the answer? i hope i can write poems again. i miss writing them. i love to read it over and over again and it really expresses how i really really feel.




so let's move on from that thought. i was doing my QT today. and it talks bout our words. the words that comes out of our mouth. isit destructive? or isit like an encouragement to ppl? like a nutrient to help nourish living things? i really do hope im an encouragement, a blessing to ppl around me. more understanding and having empathy.





to the ppl who has been reading my blog since the day i introduced u to it. since the very first starting of my blog. since 2004 or even through the time when all the posts seems to be nothing other than depressing. isit still depressing? can u feel the joy whenever i update it? hahaha. i hope that it is more happy and joyful... no longer depressing. ill try not to make it sound depressing anymore la kay. hahaa.


hehe. i've been a good girl today. changed my bed sheet.. rearranged all the soft toys and pillows and bolsters on my bed. now now... dont get me wrong. all the soft toys are gifts. that's why it has a special place on my bed. if not it'll be all in a box or a really huge plastic bag. waiting to be donated to poor little girls who cant have toys to play with. cleaned up my room. vacuumed and all. ahhhhh.. now i feel like my room is sooo clean. so proud of myself. hehe. *gives self a pat on the shoulder*


and i managed to get hold of the principle of the kindergarten at the back of my house. he said he'll get back to me and that he and his wife wanna meet up with me.


i would prefer working at the kindergarten. then at least i get to deal with the kids and know whether montessori is what i want for my future. i could get another job in siew peng's office. in cats whiskers and that is quite near my house too. but not as near as the kindergarten la. haha! but but but but but.... the thing is that the hours are from 12 noon till 9 at night. i would rather like one that has normal working hours. cuz i was thinking... if i work there. that means ill be super super tired even though i have the morning off. and i would be missing prayer meetings. nowwww.... we wouldnt want that dont we. sigh. well, i hope i can get a job at the kindergarten. that'll be nicer =)