my sad thoughts

why am i so foolish,
why am i so dumb,
he's too selfish,
and that makes me numb.
how do i forget bout the past,
how do i move on,
i want to forget him fast,
and i want the feelings to be gone.
i dont mean anything to him anymore,
my heart really tore,
ever since he walked out the door.

why did we become like this?
why did things change?
i want to be filled with blissfulness,
but i feel like im stuck in a cage.
memories start to race in my mind,
wishing that we'll go back in time,
where i was in ur heart and mind.
all i can do now is wish and hope,
that with God i can cope,
every heart break and every tear.
i know that one day ill understand,
cuz the answers is in God's hand,
and i know i will stand,
with God hand in hand.

feelings come and go,
leaving me all torn up inside,
i dont know what i want to do,
whether to stay or go.
i know i should be leaving,
i know i shouldnt be staying,
but i cant bear going,
all i can do is continue praying,
that me and him are meant to be.

i need strength,
i need God's joy,
i want to give thanks in every circumstance,
i dont want the situation to control my emotions
but i seem to give in no matter what.
he tells me that he's interested with someone else,
and that he wants to do this and that for her
and here i am
trying to be happy for him
trying to wish him all the best with her
even though it may break my heart
again and again

i sat in the car
staring out the window
staring at the things passing by
wishing that my sadness could just fade away
wishing that my heart will never break
for the same person ever again
wishing that i could scream all my hurt away
wishing that i could move on like he did
wishing that we are meant to be
wishing that we would have another chance
a chance where it would last till death do us part

i really wish for his happiness,
i really want him to be happy
to have the girl of his dreams
but at the same time
im very sad that
he didnt choose me
i wouldnt know what the future brings
i wish i knew
i wish i had the answers to everything
but i've learn that
trials help us to be who God wants us to be
without trials...
there will be no perseverance