no words can describe how i feel now

do u ever wonder why do we have to go through difficulties?! have u ever think so much that u complicate urself?! maybe u might not understand what im talking bout now. but my thoughts are seriously killing me! my friends told me that im thinking too much. even i myself know that i think too much. that my thoughts make me feel worse. sometimes i just wish that i dont think so much. then things would be simple and easy. i just hate myself for thinking so much. just hate! just just just hate! argh! eden said one thing that'll always remain in my mind. she said that if God brings u to a certain problem or difficulty, He will definitely help u out and bring u out of it. but u know.. sometimes we humans tend to try to help ourselves out from it and not asking God. i can imagine God beside me. wondering when am i gonna go to Him and ask Him for help. sometimes i just hate myself. i feel like giving up. even though i know there's this verse that says that God has a purpose for me to be here. but i just cant help to think a negative part. i know that i should be bucking up in my work. but its just that i cant help but think that i cant do it. and think that its too hard for me to do. i just dont understand myself now. argh! God!!!!!!!!!!! i dont understand why must i be in this situation God? there's so many stuff that You're bringing me to that i dont understand. seriously. its like suddenly i find so many problems in my life. i just feel like i cant do anything bout it. like im not capable of doing anything. like im jsut a useless bum. is God trying to teach me something? is God trying to help me humble myself to Him and ask Him for help and not trying to solve things on my own? *tear* i just feel like giving up everything and just be a lazy bum.. can i? can i? ughhh! i just feel that my dreams, hopes, bright future, God, family, friends, everything is sooooo sooooo sooooo far far away from me now. does anyone out there understand what im saying or feeling or thinking??!!! *cries*