n e v e r

never base ur decisions on someone else's

live ur own life

make ur own decisions

dont live for someone else

have ur own personality

dont care bout what others say bout......................

think properly before u decide on something

dont follow emotions or feelings

whatever

fingerprints of God

there's so much feelings in me right now
that i dont know how to pen it down

im not a great poet
im not very good with english
not very good in using "flowery" words to express my feelings
btw.. when i say flowery it meant bombastic words

love is never easy
that's what i keep telling myself when kevin & i are facing problems

when is too much?
how do u know when to stop?
everyone feels differently
everyone reacts differently
so how do u know
what is the right thing to do or say
and when is it right to do or say it?

u know sometimes when u say "im sorry" to a person
u wish it was enough
u'll wish that the word sorry is enough
enough to erase the pain,
the hurt,
the ache,
that was caused by one

but when one says it to u
sorry is never enough
sorry is just a word
sorry cant take away the pain,
the hurt,
the ache that was caused by one

so what do u do?
what do u say...
to make it all better?
to make everything seem "perfect" again

it's like u know u cant expect to always have good times in a relationship
but why do we always end up expecting that?

there'll always be someone out there
that will be better than the person u are together with
but in the end....
do u CHOOSE to love the person u chose to love?
do u choose to love one's imperfections?
do u choose to love one's weakness?
do u choose to love one's differences?

the answer is YES
but i can say
though it's easy to say yes to all the above
it's never easy to act it out

cuz i myself arent perfect
i myself arent full of strengths
that's why
everyday.....
i ask God for help
ask God for wisdom

cuz i cant do it by myself
i cant forgive one
i cant be perfect
i cant be everything i want to be
without God's help

but i pray
that God will give me all His strength
His peace
His wisdom
and most importantly
His love
to love myself & others

sometimes it's easier to give up
than to put effort
but why u wanna give up on something
that u once had hoped, dreamed, wished, hanged on dearly, and prayed hard about?
was that feeling so easy to forget?
was that feeling so easy to give up on?
was that feeling so easy to just throw away?

sometimes whatever u think that is funny
just simple playing around
or is just a joke
it might not be to the other person

langkawi update no 2

i realize that there's too many pictures in one post. that it's getting too long. so decided to split it.

the start of island hopping!

* leaving the port *
it was too scary to take picture of the dock that we had to walk on. it was really high up. made of wood. it was really really scary. seriously

* aunt traci *

*leaving from the dock *

* the beautiful islands surrounding langkawi *

* the pregnant woman *
the guy stopped at this spot. and showed us that this mountain is called the pregnant woman. can u see her face, *ahems*, and pregnant stomach? pls tell me u can. ahhaa

* when it was still going slow *

* getting out of the boat *
this is the way we got out of the boat

* start of the long walk *

* walking with Jesus *

* walking all the way *

* walking everyday *

* at least u have some nice view to see while walking *

* then we finally reach the start of the never ending stairs *
and also the start of an encounter with monkeys that shows no mercy if ur carrying a plastic bag and the never ending stairs. this is way way longer than the one in the camp site. once u've seen this... u'll think the camp sites on is short

* then we reach to a very beautiful place *
a place where u can shop. swim. and....

* sit, feed, and feel the cat fish swim around ur legs *
p/s that's my uncle's leg. not mine kayyyyyy.. hahahaa

* this is how fast it was going *
our hair was flying everywhere

* then we reach to our final island *

we only went to 2 island and we stopped somewhere for a while. to watch them feed the eagle's. it was a really nice thing to watch. they threw chicken into the water. so the eagle's just flew and get it. we sat there for bout 10-15 mins just watching the eagle eat. i took pictures but couldnt see it clearly though. couldnt see the eagle's. the picture does no justice

* the walk this time was shorter than the other island *
hahaha

* can u see the fishes? *
it's actually a school of really beautiful and colorful fishes. really really beautiful. wish i could snorkel that time

* this tree from far looked pretty nice *

* seeeeeeeee....!!! look so much nicer right? sheesh *

* the sea water was so clear *
i could see small fishes swim along the shoreline

* the beach *
this is the beach connected to the resort. it's really really pretty. i just wish i can sit there the whole day.

update 3

this is my langkawi update. went there on the 21st-23rd of this month. the place was really different from what i imagined it to be. i thought it'll be more well developed and not so rural. but to my disappointment. it's really rural. like worse than i imagined it to be. the trip was quite nice la. cuz this time it was just the uncle's from US and aunt's and uncle from here and 2 young kids. one 8 and one 4. so it was kinda different. but it was fun in a weird kinda way. cuz then i got to know some of my uncle's better =)

i have been wanting to go to langkawi since God-knows-when. been hearing stories bout it. being nice and all. but to me.... it's okay la. i guess it's the company that changes it.

* plane ticket *
the white slip is my plane ticket. tell me how miserable is that? haha

* langkawi *
just arrived there. we were in the van on the way to the resort. it's called langkasuka resort. ahaha

* the room *
this picture does no justice at all. it's much dirtier and the atmosphere in the room once u step in the first time was really horrible

* chocs *
bought it on the first day when we went out to shop

* beach *
we had dinner by the beach. something different. didnt know my uncles & aunts were so romantic. hahaa

* if u look closely. on the right. u can see my family eating there *
like a bunch of vultures attacking the table full of food. ahahha. shhh! dont tell them i said that

* beautiful sunset *
wished kevin was there with me =(

* i like the view of the mountain *


* sunset *
so wonderful

* ellie *
the 8 year old
my mum and i was helping her to collect seashells

* jun yi *
the 4 year old. trying to collect seashells too

* rainbow *
so beautiful! =) once again. wished kevin was there with me

update 2

next should be just's bday. but the pictures during the dinner was really crappy. it's super blur we spent the whole day together. let me show u pictures of the aftrernoon. during lunch and all. haha

* what else better to do while waiting? *
haha..

* escalator *
had to do it a million times. we went up & down. hopefully no one saw us. being like so po's. hahaa. but good memories. good memories =)

* in lanna's *
where i & working friends order from when i work at cats whiskers. it tastes much nicer when they deliver. ahha

* really a nice place to take pictures *

* love being with them *

* now we can have countless heart-2-heart talks and so on so forth *

much much awaited updates! yeah right! haha

decided to update. cuz if not ill be busy for camp. actually now also la. but im taking a break from it. then gonna be busy hanging out with friends and then christmas comes. so gonna have lots of stuff. plus there'll be more and more stuff to update. then in the end ill be too lazy to update cuz of the amount of it. ahaha. anyways... enough crapping. haha =)




first update is my grandma's 80th bday dinner. we had it in bukit jalil golf something something. it's in tai thong. there's more pictures. but this is what i've got so far from my own camera. see.. plus point of bringing ur own camera. dont have to wait for pictures. ahahhaa

* in the car *
on the way to the dinner

* joanne & mich cousie *
mich was studying during the dinner. bahs

* my future sis-in-law *
hehehehe =)

* darling dearest *

* us again *
too bad didnt take picture of my dress =)

w h y

dont bother bout the title. cuz that's the only word that i can think of right now





i dont know what to do
i dont know what to say
no words can truly explain how i really feel
no words can truly describe

i guess i expected too much
i expected too highly from one
i thought one was better
i thought one has changed
i thought...
i thought...

maybe all this while
i was deceiving myself
maybe i refuse to see the truth
maybe i was in denial

assume....
makes an ass out of u and me
i guess this time i made an ass out of myself more

only God knows whether one can balance each other
only God can change
only God knows whether one can fit into a perfect jigsaw puzzle
only God and time can tell

i should really remind myself bout the forum we had on relationship
one's time is not to my disposal
one's time is not only mine
one should have one's own time
own time with friends
own time with other ppl

but but but......
i cant seem to apply it!!!
it's not the same situation!
didnt one get enough when i was gone for hols?
didnt one said one missed me?
didnt one wanna spend time with me?
i guess this time.....
i "A S S U M E D" again



A S S U M T I O N!

i H A T E that word!

do i make u proud

im too lazy to think of the title. therefore... there's a title of a song =) there's so many things in my mind. it's like a never ending whirlwind. this morning that was what i read during my quiet time. it's like there's so much stuff in ur mind... that when u wanna sit down and pray, nothing comes out. u dont know where to begin. u dont know where to start.


the main thing that made me decide to pen down my thoughts is cuz in a blink of an eye.. it's friday. i cant believe time has passed so fast. mostly what caused me to realize this is that i havent even prepare for my cradle roll lesson on sunday. it's like 2 more days. and tmr ill be spending my whole entire day in church. and when i say entire.... it is literally entire. ill be there at 9 in the morning till 10 at night i guess. soooo.... tmr is pretty much gone and i still havent prepare for my lesson. i guess i dont have to explain why i havent start doing anything right?

it's like so many things is happening in such a short period of time. and why do i feel like this? it's cuz i havent plan my time properly. thinking that there's still tmr. that there's still time to do what i need to do before the day finally arrives. bahsss.. lies all liess.. trying to live in denial. shucks! and now i gotta live in my consequences. ugh! can faint. guess i better stop now and go get my beauty sleep. if not tmr i wont be able to wake up. ill be falling asleep halfway during yf. haha


im so happy that my friends and uncles are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay yay yay yay yay!!!!!!!

*spend my life with u *

i never knew such a day would come
and i never knew such a love
could be inside one

i never knew till i looked into ur eyes
i was incomplete till the day u walked into my life
and i never knew that my heart could feel
so precious and pure
one love so real

can i just see u every morning when
i open my eyes
can i just feel ur heart beating beside me
every night
can we just feel this way together
till the end of all time
can i just spend my life with u

now baby the days and the weeks
and the years will roll by
but nothing will change the love inside
of u and i

and baby ill never find the words
that could explain
just how much my heart my life
my soul u've changed

can u run to these open arms
when no one else understands
can we tell God and the whole world
im ur woman, and ur my man
cant u just feel how much i love u
with one touch of my hand
can i just spend my life with u

no touch has ever felt so wonderful
u are incredible
and a deeper love i've never known
i'll never let u go
i swear this love is true
now and forever to u
only for u
to u


p.s : lyrics changed to suit ur's truly =)




he's really sweet
though there's alot of things one can wish could be better
there's a million and one weaknesses u can find in one
u can focus mainly on one's imperfections

but i choose to look at his good side
his sweet side
his charming side

the side that made me fell in love with him
that made me love him more
that makes me laugh
that makes me smile
that makes me want to be together with him even more
that makes me thank God for him everyday

i love my baby

pics pics

on the 1st of nov... we had a yf camp comm meeting at my house. emmm. which i didnt know bout till delz called me to tell me that she and ed is outside. hahaa. i was like huh? what? for what? we planned anything meh? hahaha. but it was a really fun meeting la. though i had to pack my room cuz it's really dirty and all. still dirty. ahaha. kinda lazy laaaaaaa.

* the start of our night *
at 8.30 pm
packed with vitagen and junk food *yummy*

* we started off being smiley smiley *

* ps. we dont do this often during the meetings kay.. it's not always happy happy joy joy *
haha

* girls = taking pictures *
* guys = doing the talking *
no laaa.. we got give inputs also okayyyy

* heyyy... but at the end of the night we managed to accomplish our goal for the night kayyyy *

* then at 11.30 pm *
this is what we look like after a few hours of planning & brain storming