helppppp!!! hahaha

help meee! im back into the hate-studying mode. i was okay for a while and i managed to do 12 books in a month. i was kinda amazed when i saw my teacher's chart(this chart where they record every month to see who is slacking). last term i only did like 10 books. but the recent termmmm.....i did 30!!!!! can u believe it???!!! hehe. thank God! i was visiting my teacher yesterday, and she said that im like confirmed to attend the graduation ceremony thingy. i dont really want to attend since its just a ceremony..as long as i get my transcript then ill destroy the school then ill leave. MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! that was our plan last time. but nowww..things have changed so much. i guess God wanted to separate us so that we wont continue our very very "evil" plan. lol. and now. i dont even want to study at all man. well, at least i study in school. but once i get home its like....*throws bag away* so ill never get to see it ever again! *evil grin* but too bad. i cant do that. then ill be wasting my parents money. sighhhh. so i really really need to get back in the studying mode so that i can finish my books by the end of this year. cuz i only have like 20+ books. but as my lvl go higher...i heard it gets tougher...soooooo. not a good thing to graduate after all. hahha. just joking. i was planning to take next few months off to work in my school cuz they pay quite good for sitting and bumming around. i hope my mum changes her mind. cuz im not very sure whether i want to do mass comm then go deeper into a particular course. im not even sure whether i want to do video editting or become a photographer. i dont even know. and when she keeps forcing me to go and see the counselor and sign up(since the intake ends this month), the more i dont want to do mass comm. last time i was so sure im gonna do mass comm...but now...i dont want. i want to take a few months off and work and earn money while i start thinking bout my future. i dont want to just jump into something and realize suddenly that i dont want to take that course at all. then ill be wasting my time and my parents money. which is not a good thing. so pray that either my mum will let me take a few months off or pray that i could find out what i wanna do next time. i know i shouldnt fret bout this...but my mum is pushing me very badly di. maybe to u guys u may feel like aiyahhh. she's just suggesting for u. but to me...(cuz she never has done this before) she's like suffocating meeeeee. and the more she suffocates me with what im suppose to do the more i dont want to do it.. ughhhh! sigh. i dont know la. why cant i just take a few months off and earn some money. somemore ill be able to teach in a place where im quite familiar with. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! *pulls hair* so so geram-ted. haha. if there is such a word =) *angelic grin*