the joy of the Lord is my strength

the joy that i have in my heart right now is uncontainable. i've never felt this way before. i mean like im not this passionate for God. this past few days...God kept reminding me bout my relationship with HIm. and i admit that i've been remaining in square one for quite some time. like what i told delicia...i feel like im taking 3 steps forward but 4 steps back. but after today...i've finally decided that i want to be a difference for God...no matter how stupid i may look or be. as long as im doing it for God...no problem! cuz sometimes..whenever i want to do something. there's this voice in me that discourages me telling me that i cant do any of those and ill make a fool out of myself. but after having a chat with andrew just now while he was sending me back after practice. i think im ready to take a step forward and begin to do something beyond my imagination. with God's strength and His help, i can do anything! as long as its for Him la. hehe. im tired of staying in my ugly lil square one. tired of being the person who's not doing much in church. its not helping me in growing in God anyway. i realized that if i keep doing the same things over and over again...ill never ever grow. cuz if i want to grow, i need to do things to make myself grow. i cant just sit down and tell myself. okay! i want to grow now! and ill straight away grow. i need to do things to make myself grow. that's why i've come to my conclusion that i need to be doing things in order to grow and not just sit on my bumbum and leave all the work to God alone. its a 2-way thing. like for example.. u cant just pray to pass ur exams. u need to do ur part and study right. so in the same way...u need to do ur part in order to grow! like this song that we sing in the cradle roll class. "read ur Bible, pray everyday and u'll grow, grow, grow" sometimes ull feel lazy and all to read and pray everyday. but like what eng kok said today..that if we do anything in the spirit..we're not using our own strength.