my story

new blog

2008-04-21T00:22:00.001+08:00

i'm gonna move to a new blog. kevin and i have been planning to create one together... here's the new link

suddenly...

2008-04-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

suddenly i feel weird that im signing up for college
suddenly i feel that my holiday is gonna end in a blink of an eye
suddenly i begin to wonder whether it's right to choose early childhood education
suddenly i feel maybe it's not what i should do

but but but
i have no time to wonder and change my mind
i have no choice but to choose what i've chosen

oh God!
i know that whatever i choose, whatever i decide
You will still bless me
You will be there for me like how You've been through my foundation year
the countless times that i took You for granted
studying the few hours before my exam
and yet You still bless me with grades FAR better than my friends
i hope that You'll do the same for me this time round

long LONG post

2008-04-06T23:03:00.005+08:00

finally i've decided to blog bout my trip to HK. haha. one reason is because im REALLY bored and it's raining really heavily and im home alone now. actually, i have loads to blog about but somehow as the days go by, i've lost the urge to blog bout everything already. i think i've almost forgotten bout the names of the places except those that i always go to. it's been bout 2-3 weeks since i've been back from my trip. it feels like it was quite some time ago. somehow it feels surreal.

i think this was our plane. ahaha

on the plane
they showed brothers and a little bit of ella enchanted
by the time they showed ella enchanted, we were gonna land at bout 20-30 mins time

this is at a library at macau
they preserved the historical places really well
they even have guards and stuff
i've learnt many things in macau
i've learnt that macau were once governed by the portugese
that's why u find portugese words everywhere
kinda like here in msia
we have malay as well as english
my mum loves this row of flowers

once u reach the top of the stairs,
u'll see this

this 2 were an ignorant korean couple

they seem to love flowers alot cuz everywhere u go, there'll be lots of flowers
and mind u, it's not just left there and let nature do it's work
they have gardeners prunning and trimming and doing those gardening stuff
ahaha
amazing... i never knew my camera could take this kinda shot
maybe it's just the photographer
*ahem ahem*

anyone wanna confess their sins?
they really have alot alot of historical stuff la
and they are perfectly maintained
i like
what if u wanna confess ur sins, and the only time u can do it is when the place is filled with ppl
then everyone will know ur sins right???
but anyway this catholic church is REALLY REALLY HUGE!

seeeeeeee
more plants
this used to be a really huge church
however it got burnt down
they manage to save the front part only
literally the front part

if u can see....
this is a little view of the back of the "church"
they have glass covering like 4 parts each side of the church
apparently it's tombs
they even have 6 metal long "tiles" on the floor because they assume it's the pillars of the church
when u enter the "church", u have to behave in a proper conduct
no misbehaving
nelson cannot go in la
hahahah

many couples take pictures here
sigh
made me miss kevin even more
*sob*

we sat the ferry over to HK
this is a new one
venetian came up with it
if u remember, kennysia posted that he was invited to the venetian to do some media coverage of it's grand opening or something like that?
yeah, the same one =)
the sole purpose of this ferry is to transport gamblers from HK to macau
and at macau ferry port, there'll be a FREE bus waiting that'll bring them directly to the venetian
there are FREE buses from the airport as well

we got the first class one
with many priveledges
we get to get off the ferry first
FREE flow of food and drinks from the menu
but actually i think it's all included in the price that we paid anyways
haha
thank God that on the day we wanted to take the ferry, it was the last day for cotai strip or cotai jet to give away FREE membership card
by having the membership card, we'll get a FREE return ticket

these seats are like plane seats
the table is at the arm of the chair
thank God that they were offering such good deals
because the ferry that my father wanted to take, will be filled with tons of ppl
and it's old
and of course it is cheaper la

in this trip, we've taken loads of public transport and pictures. haha
we sat the train
the bus (mini as well as double decker)
the tram (coming down from the peak and those that u see in california)
ferry (new and old(like those that u see in tvb movies))
taxi

i love their boards on the train
it's colorful and it tells u which way the train is going
and when u stop at the station where u can change trains, it'll tell u where that train will go
it tells u which side of the train ur suppose to get off as well
they even have tv's in there broadcasting news

in conjunction with the beijing olympics
adorable huh?

the view from our ymca hotel window
amazingly the hotel was really really nice and clean

this place is called mid-levels

last time it used to be stairs going up and flat ground going down
now they've created escalators to go up cuz it's really tiring
must modern abit la
but i think they should have it going down as well
it was really dangerous cuz it was raining
but their rain is our drizzling
but still......
it's called mid-levels because the houses & shops are built on a hill
so it's like escalator up then a whole row of shops/houses
then another level up, another row of shops/houses
my father told me that when wing lian came with them the last time, they were so tired that they stopped halfway and he watched tv from someone's house
haha

this is sai kong
where ppl come here to buy seafood or to show off their dogs
dog life over there is certainly luxurious
they pamper them with doggie pram
and nice expensive clothes
they let the dogs roam around but the dogs stay near their owner
they dont go around barking at every stranger they see

the purpose of a net with a long pole is to
get money or give change
show the customer before paying
give the customer what they've paid for

went to one of the restaurants facing the ocean
to have yummy seafood
which later, plus the wan tan , gave my mum food poisoning

2 different sauces for the lobster
there's cheese and dont know what
haha

really good fish!

this was at one of the shops at ladies street
they were selling curry fish head or something
and wanted to make the fish head look more yummy
which i didnt it wasnt achieved with me

when i look at this picture, i start to crave for it
it's so good okay their tong sui
this is strawberry, dragon fruit, pearl with sago
delish!
for the real HK food, u have no choice but to go to the shops where they only have chinese menus
my father says that there is where the 'real' HK food is
if they have english menus as well, means it's meant for tourists

this restaurant is where they have famous goose!
u have to book in advance
seat and food (i think)
haha

my fav vege

the famous goose

some 8 ingredients taufu
we thought it was 'pat chan' the ladies soup
but actually it's 8 different ingredients

this was what caused me to be best friends with the plane's toilet bowl
now when i think bout wan tan mee, kit kat, and beef, i'll feel like vomitting
cause that's what i ate before getting onto the plane

we were nearing the macau airport
in macau and HK, the weather was walking-friendly
haha
we didnt mind walking no matter how far it will be because the weather was so nice
however they said that at the time we went, it was the hazy time
we walked from the ferry to the airport which will take bout 10-15 minutes
we didnt mind because again... the weather
even if we had to lug our stuffed luggages

the "view" we had while we were walking up the slope
hahaha

finally..... we're reaching!
it was really really windy

this was taken before we took off
and before i became buddies with the toilet

one of the days in HK, we wasted half of the day in the train
wanna know why? my dad said he wanna show us the poorer part of HK
we didnt wanna ask him what was the purpose of us going because we were afraid to upset him or make him angry
so we just kept quiet
the journey was 45 mins - 1 hour long
after the long ride, when we got down, my mum ask my dad why were we here....
and he said he wanted to show us the difference between the poor&rich and busy&quiet part of HK. so that we can compare
me and my mum wanted to faint because he made us get up so early just for a nonsense ride
we wanted to fall asleep in the train
we not only wasted time......we wasted money as well

we didnt manage to go to ocean park as well
my dad wanted to go see the panda's but it was raining and it was at bout 3 and the bus closes by 5. so we didnt want to take the risk. in the end we didnt go. bahs.

if u ask me to describe HK or macau in one word
it'll be FAST
the way they walk to the escalator speed to the train
everything to them must be fast

*thanks if ur still reading up to now*
i think this is my longest post after quite some time
hehehe
maybe cuz i stop working di =)
dont have to sleep early!
i took bout 2-3 hours writing this post

advantages

2008-04-02T14:54:00.003+08:00

working at frost & sullivan definitely has its advantages. i learnt bout some countries that i never knew existed. i was matching the 2 letter codes to country names and i found 2 islands called heard island and mcdonald island. how interesting eh... haha. i googled it and found out that apparently it is near by each other, apart of Australia, and are named after those who founded them.

however, unfortunately, mcdonald island does not have trees bearing burgers (sorry winson... haha), nor french fries grass, nor rivers flowing with coke, nor houses made with nuggets or banana pie. this wikipedia definitely crushed my hopeful imagination when it said that it's an uninhabited and barren island which contain the only 2 active volcanoes in Australia.

for a moment, visiting mcdonald island sounded like a good idea. sheesh

crushed are my dreams.........

fast enough?

2008-04-01T22:23:00.001+08:00

92 words

Speed test

see li teng... it's really the keyboard. when i come home and do this test i got 92. haha. this is my best score so far =)

thought bout it

2008-03-29T13:57:00.001+08:00

*ahem ahem*

since i had a sleepover for cg on the outside. and since i have spare time on a saturday which is pretty unusual, i decided to blog bout my HK trip. unfortunately, after procrastinating and playing parking wars on facebook (u should try it), i've become too lazy to write bout my trip.

therefore, i shall leave the updating to another day when i feel the "umph" and the inspiration to update because there's alot of stuff which i wanna talk bout my trip. i just feel too lazy to write it now.

*at least i thought about it* hehe

humour

2008-03-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

oh dear God
You have such a good sense of humour
but why cant i laugh?
i know that You have plans for me
how do i see the bigger picture?

i've learned from last night's sermon
but no, my stubborn heart does not want to do it
i want it my way
i want what i want

how can i be happy when i just want to cry?
whatever i want is limited

is going to church bad?
is going for retreats, camps bad?
if i no longer go to church, u'll be sad
if i go to church, u complain
what do u want me to do?

am i going clubbing?
am i staying out late every night?
am i doing wrong things?
no
i'm doing none of the above
but why do u make me feel like i'm doing worse than those?

sometimes i think maybe i should turn the other way
would that make u feel better?
if i drink, club, do drugs, come home the next morning
would that make u feel better?

i have nothing else to say

thankful

2008-03-26T13:11:00.001+08:00

i've been back for 3 days di. but yet i have no desire whatsoever to blog bout my trip to HK. when i came back, it all felt kinda surreal. like i was just dreaming that i went to HK. i didnt feel like i went at all. the days seem to pass really fast but yet not fast enough.

i will blog bout my trip soon because i'm still not feeling too well. having really bad headache

once i stepped onto the plane, i knew. my stomach was uneasy, my brains was trying to tell me something, everything just didnt felt right. we sat a smaller plane back home. so in the economy class there were only 2 toilets. imagine how small was it. yet it was somewhat packed. once the plane reached the cruising stage and the seat belt lights were off-ed, i knew i had to go. i waited a few seconds for the toilet and once i went in, everything that i've eaten for dinner rushed out. the smell that the toilet had, caused more of the undigested food to come out. oh boy, i've never vomitted for a million years. it happened bout 3-4 times on the plane. the toilet was my friend by the end of the ride. not only did it come out from my mouth but it came out from my back as well. i know i know. sorry. too much information

came back home and every 2 hours i woke up to do the same routine. i've never been so acquainted with my toilet until now. my stomach was scolding me for being so foolish to eat those wan tan in HK. i never got the last of it till morning came. i woke up at bout 11 something and kevin said he'll come to see me. instead of going to wash up, i fell back into deep sleep. when he came, i had a slight fever. i was quite hot after we were done watching meet the spartans. stupid show. so my dad ask me to drink some tonic water.

the doctor that he never gotten to be came out once i gave him the green light to feed me the horrible drink. this is my first time being so sick ever since i've gotten together with him. he was a darling. he treated me like a baby, making the tissue look like a bip. after i drank a few sips, he'll drink a gulp. too bad no pictures. but at least i can remember it =) i'm really thankful and grateful that i have him to take care of me. make sure u take care of me like that even after we get married arrrr.

thanks darling!

i really appreciate it

HONG KONG here i comeeeeee....!

2008-03-18T21:20:00.015+08:00

*short post*
i'm leaving for HK in about 9 hours. the past few days i've been spending every given time that i have with kevin. of course i wish that i have the whole day... but sadly i was working or am still working till the first week of april. i dont think i'll continue on unless li teng and guys continues. i have not pack anything whatsoever up till today. spend some more quality time with kevin for a while, we hugged each other so tightly like we're not gonna see each other for another year or more then he left so that i can pack. it was a fast pack cuz we're gonna go there to shop anyway. so need more space for MORE new clothes!

i dont know why i still dont feel excited bout going for the trip. maybe cuz i'm feeling sad that i'm going away at a time where there's loads of church events and without kevin. maybe tmr when i wake up i'll feel the excitement. boarding the plan and stuff still feels surreal to me.

anyway, cant' write much. gotta go sleep. have to wake up bout 5 something in the morning cuz we gotta be at the airport at 7am =)

I'M GONNA MISS YOU BABY!

T.G.I.F

2008-03-13T21:21:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOODNESS
OH MY GOODNESS
OH MY GOODNESS

can u feel my excitement? TMR IS FRIDAY! muahahahah! amazingly time passed quite fast this week. all in all, this week was quite mundane. nothing much has changed except the fact that i found out bout someone in my office who read my blog. better be careful with what i say from now on.

let me tell u what has my life been ever since i started work

wake up
do QT
brush teeth
bath
change
stuff jacket and bottle into my bag
leave house
reach office
on computer & take out my necessities and put it on my table
log into lotus & sametime & meebo
open my work stuff
start doing work
multi-task between chatting and work (mostly work. dont worry ching yen. i'm doing my work)
lunch
work
tea break
work
countdown till work ends with li teng
off computer & pack stuff
go home
change
eat dinner
watch abit of tv
read blogs/do stuff online (yes, computer again!)
brush teeth
sleep

then the next day... same thing all over again.

this is my table

look at my eyes la
looks like going to close anytime soon
haha

IMPORTANT!!!!!

tmr is friday friday friday friday friday friday friday!!!
casual friday
free breakfast
get to spend time with the boyfriend
weekend!
yay yay yay!

btw, if ur wondering whether i'm sick of choc-o-cino yet.... yes! i'm terribly sick of it. haha.

oh oh oh... before i forget
instead of going to australia, i'm gonna go hong kong from the 19th-23rd march. yes, i know i know. dont make me feel guiltier than i already am. i'm gonna miss a whole lot of stuff:-

all day prayer
good friday
yf easter party
easter service
kevin

sigh. don't tell me the obvious. nothing i've never heard before. i'm not thrilled bout going either but what to do. the tickets has been bought. the accomodation has been set. my father is quite thrilled bout going again. he kept talking to me bout where i wanna go. he's done research online and he even bought a book.

random nonsense

2008-03-08T23:23:00.005+08:00

i have loads to write bout my work. where do i start. i actually wanted to post some random pictures but decided on adding more to this post. let's seee.....

the first day of my work was quite a fun one. as i stepped out of the lift, i was thinking of what should i do cuz i arrived at bout 10 mins earlier. but luckily, as i was walking, i heard yih ren talking really loud from behind and i knew i heard his voice from somewhere. so i turned around and saw them. *phew* *lets out breath* finally. my "savior's" haha.

walked in and li teng said she'll call ching yen for me. the quite scary but nice interviewer i meet the last time. she directed me into the room and i waited and waited. then she came back in and brought me newspaper as well as the contract that i needed to sign. u seee... frost & sullivan is a global growth consulting company (what i always hear when winson calls ppl to do some telephone interview) and apparently it's a huge & famous company. that's why need contract la.

then she went to check whether my desk was ready and she came back in and said she'll give me a tour of the place. which wasn't really big. it's long la. narrow & long. the pantry is super small and it looks as if they tried to stuff the whole place with as much tables, chairs, and dividers as they possible can. they have another block which is more spacious and new.

then i sat next to the IT guy who is preparing my computer for me. which took like a million years. it was already 9.30 okay. so i waited and waited..........again. and FINALLY *phew* i got my table. which isn't very HUGE. note: stuffing the place crazy? dont worry. will take a picture.... soon! haha so anyway, i sat there. trying to figure out how to use lotus 7. they have their own "msn messenger" it's called SAMETIME. we can PING a.k.a message ppl in the office bout anything or nothing at all. we use this to chat. haha. and also i use it to ask my boss bout work stuff la. duhhhhhhhh.

then came my boss, he asked me to open the email (like as if i know how to use lotus) so i was super blur. simply clicking here and there. then he asked me to open the website. i opened it and nothing appeared. i couldn't see anything other than the frame of the table where the information is suppose to be in. so he asked me to wait, he'll come back. but he didnt come back at all! note: it was already 10....!!! so i asked winson bout SAMETIME and how do i operate it. but it wasn't working as well. awwwww mannn. i was beginning to have a feeling that the 1st day of my work is gonna be damn sucky. sigh. he helped me to "ping" the IT guy, eric, and minutes later eric came and fix everything.

at bout 10.30, everything wrong bout my computer was fixed *phew* please don't tell me it's the user problem (but i really think it is. my computer has been really weird for the past 2 days). so since my boss hasn't come back, i decided to give SAMETIME a try. chatted and chatted and they said that i have the best place in the whole company cuz my table is at the back of the office and my back is facing the wall. meaning i can do ANYTHING!!! but u see.. im so innocent & i don't dare to do any nonsense on my first day, i only dared to go on facebook and check my mails and.... oh oh... not to forget, i went to meebo as well to chat on msn.

at 11 plus, my boss finally came back to explain to me bout my job. at that time, i was surfing the net and busy chatting away. i was so freaked out to see him suddenly appear okay. sheesh. from then on, i was multitasking *evil grin* so that was my first day... but after lunch, i had this really bad migraine that made me slow down on my work. made me feel like puking. i didnt really feel too well. sigh

so yesterday was casual friday and seriously, some ppl really took it too far. they wore REALLY REALLY casually. like huge t-shirt, 3 quarters, and aunty shoes for example. and on fridays, we have free breakfast *yum yum* really good food. haha. i had to email my boss the work that i did the day before and after few hours, he came back to me and asked me how did i do my work cuz it's really really simple. i just copy and paste countries name and numbers from a website to an excel spreadsheet. then he said that i needed to speed up on my work cuz i have 100 countries more and this is only my first. bahs!

i'll be ready on monday. equipped with my earphones, hard disk filled with a million songs, panadol, and jacket. haha

in ktz, 1u
it's more expensive there

his edison smile
he can do better one

this is a must have in my office
CHOC-O-CINO
i've talked bout this before *click*

i was SO happy when li teng showed me the drinks machine. hahah. it even took away some of the pain from the migraine. i have this drink everyday at bout 3-4pm and we steal the cup first. okay let me explain why. actually she helps me to steal it la. we can only use the cups in the picture above and there's only a limited amount of it. the kakak will only wash it once in a while. so just in case i dont have a cup to use, we take it and put it on my desk *grin* aren't we smart? but next time we should take a spoon as well. haha. dont dare to drink it in the morning. in case i get stomach ache. anyway, time to sleep now. don't expect a frequent update cuz i have a feeling that i'll be too tired and too lazy to post alot during the weekdays. cheh wah. say until like i have alot of readers. ahahaha!

work

2008-03-06T21:47:00.000+08:00

now i understand what delicia said. bout kevin working next time. when all he wants to do when he comes home is just sit and stare into space. that's what i feel like doing now. all through work today, i was thinking bout what im gonna write when i came home. but now all i feel like doing is sleep. why....? cuz i had this really really BAD headache the whole day. now still have. sigh. kevin wanted to know all bout my day but i really really dont feel like talking. i feel so drained out. thank God tmr is casual friday. dont have to worry much bout formal clothes. i'll go get it once my work ends. pray for me. for good health. really dont feel well cuz i have not been sleeping properly.

job

2008-03-04T23:16:00.015+08:00

i've gotten the job at frost & sullivan. when i heard it the first time, kevin and i was laughing our heads off. it reminded me of monsters inc. my mum kept forcing me to ask for some job there cuz she said it's a very famous and good company. finally she got her wish...... this is gonna be my first real temp job at a office. kevin said my days at evelyn's old office (can't remember how to spell the company's name.. hehe. hence, "evelyn's old office") is not considered as a temp job. said that i didnt feel the horror of dreadful early morning's and weariness when i get home from work.

somehow, it doesn't seem right
feels like i should have taken the kindergarten job instead
feels like im betraying myself

i don't know how he does it
choosing job over spending time with me
i couldn't do what he did but forced to
im dreading the day when my work starts
btw, im starting on thursday

suddenly i feel like my "holiday" is coming to an end
my days of free flowing is over
im gonna laugh at him when his class suddenly cancels or ends early and he has no where else to go but home *evil grin*
i guess i got so used to spending almost everyday with him that im not ready to stop doing all that
only 2 good things that would come out of this job

money
new formal clothes!
SHOPPING TOMORROW!

i know one day this would have to happen
no matter what i do to stop it
one day we are gonna go out to the working world
with not much time spent together besides after work and weekends
am i ready for that?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...! of course not!
im not even ready to be TWENTY this year
imagine 2.0.
without the word TEEN behind it.....!

sorry... going a little crazy. hate it when something in my life suddenly changes. it's like ur driving halfway and out comes a child and ur car starts reeling down the cliff

undo

2008-03-03T17:38:00.002+08:00

Rush of Fools - Undo

i've been here before, now here i am again
standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in
to label me a prodigal would be
only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be

[chorus:]
turn me around pick me up
undo what i've become
bring me back to the place
of forgiveness and grace
i need You, need Your help
i can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
what i've become

i focused on the score, but i could never win
trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
to label me a hypocrite would be
only scratching the surface of who i've known to be

[chorus]

make every step lead me back to
the sovereign way that You

[chorus]

i love love love LOVE this song
the first time i heard this was in glad sounds subang with kevin
it was in this box thing where u can press different songs to hear from
u can even watch a short video clip of their songs

we instantly fell in love with this song

the singer, not bad looking, haha
the tune, catchy and makes u wanna sing along
the lyrics, meaningful
it's just a really nice nice song
have yet to check out their album =)

i wish i could undo some of the stuff that i've done or said
undo who i've become recently
not gonna go into detail
but im not tooooooooooooooo happy with who i am right now

well, what can i say, im still work in progress by God
im not using that as an excuse of who i've become
not now, not ever
just saying cuz i believe that one day
i'll become a better person than i am today
one with a bigger heart to love the unlovable
one with a bigger smile to make people feel welcomed
one with a bigger faith to encourage people around

hope u enjoyed watching it! =)

i thought

2008-02-28T22:46:00.003+08:00

i thought i could let u know how i felt

i thought i could bear everything out

i thought i could let u in on everything i've felt

i thought i could let u see how hurt my heart is

i thought i was feeling better and am able to tell what made me act this way

that was why i kept calling u
thinking that i would return to normal
letting u in again
but when i heard ur voice
the hurt, the pain was back

i didnt want to say it out
afraid to have it out of my mouth
afraid to put what i read into life
i didnt want to put it all out

it has happened again
we've swept things under the rug
and the pile of rubbish is growing higher and higher
unable to hide itself from reality
instead of disappearing, it grew

it got so high that we tripped over it
fall flat on our faces
and now we've got a wound to heal
a wound that needs love to bandage
kisses to kiss the pain away
hugs to wish everything back to normal
trust to completely heal again

how we've gone so far without tripping over it,
is a mystery that will never be solved
we've done this a million times
always sweeping problem that we dont want to solve under the rug
pushing it out of reality and continuing life like nothing has happened
as if hurt and pain wasnt there when it happened
as if our heart werent burnt and ripped apart
but like sin, it never fails to find its way back to us
never fail to creep in without our consent

how far will we go
before noticing that we cant do this anymore
we cant sweep unwanted things under the rug
cant pretend like it never happened
no matter how far we push our hurt from resurfacing again
no matter the effort we put into it
one day, somehow
a volcano will erupt
the uncertainty of it is scary

why wait till a part of our hearts gets numb
why wait till a part of our hearts harden
till we lock a certain part of our hearts away
and throw the key away to timbaktu
then...
what can we do bout that part of our hearts?
to soften that harden heart?
to find the key and unlock it?
what can we do to reverse everything and start all over again?
what can we do to let go and trust again?

"hate that i love you"

2008-02-28T16:06:00.000+08:00

he doesnt understand this song by ne-yo and rihanna.
sometimes i dont even know whether he's acting dumb or he's really dumb
when i get angry with him, this song comes into mind

i told him that day
the reason why i cant look at him when im angry
is because then i cant help but smile and let the anger seep away
then he'll win....!
he'll win the war
no way am i gonna let him win

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

can u feel it?
can u sense it?
is it obvious to u as it is to me?
why can't u see it the way i do?
aren't u worried?
aren't u scared?

i know that everyone is different
but it just kills me that u act like it's nothing
how would u feel if i was like that?
so what if ur not reacting the same way as the person?
but ur letting the person do it to u right?
aren't u opening a hole of possibilities?
of chances?
if one day it really happens, how will u react?
what would u do to stop it then?
will u even let me know?

whatever

his 21st

2008-02-27T14:49:00.003+08:00

yesterday was his 21st bday. i didnt managed to get him an expensive present. it's not to say that i dont have the money to do so, just that i cant afford to spend so much in a day. because if i do, i have to eat bread for the next few months and he'll kill me for spending so much. he'll love it but he'll kill me at the same time. hehe =) not so 'kua cheong' la but still. sigh. but im glad that he liked my gift even though it was simple.

on monday night, we went to the lookout point @ ampang. but i dont think it's ampang. the receipt says it's ulu langat. whatever. where ever it is.... we took bout an hour to reach there. it was my estimated time because i knew we would get lost and we really got lost, we had to call the place to ask for directions. all in all, it was a pretty fun ride. but when we reached the signboard saying that it's bout 3 km ahead, we were all shouting for joy! haha. i was holding the bday cake and i kept asking him whether i could eat it cuz we were so hungry already.

by the time we finished our dinner, it was already 10 and we didnt manage to take much pictures because jessica had her early-1-hour-cinderella-time. so we rushed back to her place for the cutting cake ceremony. will be sure to take more pictures of the place when we go back there some time soon (i hope). haha. i really loved the scenery, loved the food, loved the place. we ate at Gasoline. sounds weird i know but the price was reasonable and the food was tasty =)

so yesterday was his real bday. we took away some food for lunch from the shop at damansara perdana and came home to eat and watched JUNO. please please please do not watch it. it's such a waste-of-time show.

after watching Juno, we headed on to midvalley cuz it's been a long time since we've been there and we wanted to try the garden's cinema which was called GSC Signature. we ate nando's for dinner. we wanted to try some place else but thinking that we've already spent so much on the movie, might as well choose some place that is not so expensive.

this was on the bridge connecting midvalley and the gardens

waiting for the show to start

taken outside of this really really pretty place

walking in

GSC Signature only offer Premiere class or Gold class
we chose premiere class and already it's so classy
there's about 7 rows of 2 seated red cushioned chairs
really spacious with a movable middle arm rest
with side small tables to put our drinks or food
the seat is recline-able (is there such a word?)

of course the place is so comfortable
we paid rm18 per seat
a whole rm 36 to be exact
they even have cafe's for us to order our food from
or u can choose the classic pop-corn + drink
or a 1901 hot dog?
or a small tub of haagen daz ice cream =)

there's more pictures to come. once i get it from yian =)

"the best thing u can do is find a person who loves u for exactly what u are. good mood, bad mood. ugly, pretty."

from the movie Juno
that is exactly what he has been to me

ps. those who wants to go to the lookout point, i suggest u to park at the carpark and walk ur way up. because there's limited parking up there and only one way up and one way down. by the time it's 10 plus, the place will be extremely crowded. mind u, we went on a monday night.

bijou

2008-02-21T00:03:00.004+08:00

bijou @ mont. kiara

mamak
we wanted to have breakfast at bijou
but on weekdays they only open from 12
hence, the roti canai's

finally bijou opened
li teng and her friend joined us as well

miss u so much babes!

the place was so comfortable and nice!
i really really love it
hope my house will look like that next time
dear, pls work hard!

our food arrived

pan fried fish fillet or something like that
it was fish

bijou burger i think

spagetti with prawns
cant really remember the names
all the names were super chun

the ambiance and decor was really really pretty but the food was so so. i didnt really like it for the price that i was paying. everything was simply perfect. to sum it all up, everything was amazing. from the decorations, to the environment, to the surroundings, to the service, to the menus, to the nice photo taking place, everything was wonderful. oh yeah...... the price was breathtaking as well. it really took my breath away for the portions that they serve.

dont get me wrong. i adore adore adore fine dining. i love the way they make the dishes look so nice. but i would definitely not pay that much for a small portion. i thank God that we ate roti canai before lunch. poor li teng and friend who i think didnt get a proper deserved lunch.

dear, besides working hard for more money for US to spend. go study some culinary course so that u can serve me some "fine dining" kind of dish at our very own home in the future. let me say THANK YOU in advance *angelic grin* =D

first interview

2008-02-20T23:35:00.003+08:00

today i went for my very first interview. it was really short notice. she called me before i was bout to go out for lunch with kevin. she was mumbling and talking so fast that i couldnt even hear her name and the company's name properly. oh my goodness. after much contemplating and hard-force-myself decision making (i hate hate making decisions), we decided to go for the interview. thank goodness kevin was there to teman me

before i continue, i had to choose whether i was going for the interview was because i had another job offer from my friend's kindy. there's a job opening as an asst. teacher to my friend for 5 year olds. not really what i want because i wanna teach younger kids. that's why the hard-force-myself decision making

we reached plaza mont. kiara later than the intended time because of jam and we were trying to find car park in the weird basement of plaza mont. kiara. we were trying to find the lift to get out of the car park. however, it was easy to find the company. it's called frost & sullivan. so funny right the name? ahha. we went in and the receptionist wasnt friendly but after a while she was la. she gave me a form to fill out before going for the interview. i hate filling up these forms.

u see... i didnt realize it was an interview, interview. like a formal one...? she said she just need me to come in and then we'll sit down and chat. and she asked me to bring my results and transcripts and such. and i was like what...? not ready... so she said nevermind, it's okay, just come in and we'll talk for a short while.

so when we got into the office, everyone was dressing so formally and li teng and her friends (which i cant remember their names) were also dressed very nicely. the guys was wearing button down shirt and tie i think. if i remember correctly. and they are like part time workers man....! oh my goodness. dress so nice. i straight away did a mental run through of my wardrobe seeing what i can wear and what i cant wear. and i realize that i have nothing formal. tops maybe but no formal pants or skirt. shit...! oh wells, if i get the job, i can go shopping. hehe =)

but..... after the interview, i dont think im really keen on getting the job. before i went for the interview, i prayed and ask God that if this wasnt the job for me, pls just smack the door shut at my face. and really God has His sense of humor. it was kind of like a smack in the face because it wasnt really the job that i thought it would be. long story bout the interview because i'll bore u guys to death. ask kevin, he was bored to death when i came out. haha.

now, as i have some time to think bout it and going through the interview session, i am VERY certain that i will not take the job. they arent sure whether they wanna hire me because i might be going for a holiday in march and also because i can only start next week. the only reason why i wanted to get that job was because of the pay. and money cant buy happiness and money is not everything.

in the end of the day, God can make things aligned to His will. He will let us go through it, but slowly and surely, He will lead us back to where He wants us to be.

swaying far far away from my purpose of this post, i will not be able to visit wing lian before may because my mum wants to go hong kong instead. she said dont wanna disturb him when he hasnt settled down yet. besides, he'll be there for a long long time. not being able to visit him means not able to visit justina as well. sorry babes. we'll go have our own trip to somewhere la =)

job

2008-02-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

i know i should get a job soon. but what? i wanna work at the office this time round. no more cats whiskers. but where? and im very choosy one.... arghhhh....! anyone knows of any job openings? anyone wanna hire me? ahhaha bahs!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

2008-02-14T23:07:00.010+08:00

to my darling sweetheart, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! this is our 2nd valentines day together and im hoping for more to come.

this year we decided to celebrate it a little different. no exchange of gifts but definitely a dinner some time next week. obviously we're not gonna spend on a day where prices go as high as the clouds and with no other dishes to choose from besides over priced valentines set meals.

i've decided to agree on the "no gift exchange" solely because it's his 21st birthday this year. gotta save up for the day u know? =)

i remember few years back. when i didnt have a boyfriend. everything seemed so different. esp. on valentines day. i would look at all the couples and get depressed. remembering bout someone who broke my heart for the very first time. who crushed it into a million pieces. i would spend valentines day with justina or my other girlfriends.

but the story has changed on june 23, 2006.
someone special came into my life
someone who has challenged me in my faith
someone who has caused me to grow up
someone who i can count on
someone who i can do silly things with

someone who loves kids as much as i do

HAPPY VALENTINES
BABY!

forced to do so

2008-02-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

i was forced by the boyfriend to write a post bout him and for him. haha. i have to write something sweet for him to read when he gets back later. but im too lazy and im in no mood to write bout sweet things. gosh...... we're gonna be 2 years and already the lack of romance. ahah. kidding! hahaa.

i've written a nice post before this. so it should be enough right babe? my brain is not functioning after a few months of not studying. guess it's time to find for work....? dont worry. wont be choosing cats anymore. maybe will try siew ling's kindy. will think bout it. cuz i wanna go aussieland to visit wing lian and justina (when she goes back). but not sure yet la. sigh

im quite sad that i cant visit nelson&yvonne tmr. sigh. it's not just a visit but also a dinner cooked by him. which i havent tried before. but what can i do....? i have family dinner. but but but.... im sure there'll be another opportunity right...??? aih. i hate it when plans clash and i have to choose. sheesh.

wish me good luck for tmr. im scared. actually the word scared is an understatement. im more like terrified, horrified, anxious, queasy, nervous, all add up together. i just have to think of the ang pau's. haha. im so horrible la. aww man. i should stop now. take care!!!!!! =)

miss him! =(

2008-02-08T11:56:00.000+08:00

on a happier note..... my baby is coming back today. dont know what time. but he's coming back!!!! yay!!!! so happy! cant wait to see him. but i wont be able to see him tonight cuz i have dinner and im sure he's gonna have dinner in klang as well. sigh. just gotta wait for tmr then. im kinda scared bout tmr cuz it's gonna be my first time visiting his mum's side of the family.

i've never seen his aunties before. i saw one of them, but it was just passing of keys through the car window. that's all. on the other hand, i've seen his grandparents the other day, and they are scary. i cant even speak fluent mandarin for goodness sake! awww man. i cant speak fluent mandarin and hokkien is out of the question. sigh!

*edit*
felt it was abit too harsh =)

the silly things that he lets me do to him
that's why i LOVEEEE him so much!
HAHAHA. just joking la
*angelic grin* =)
and dont mind bout the mountain load of hangers in the background,
i was just clearing my cupboard. ahhaa

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

2008-02-08T11:39:00.000+08:00

as i was reading blogs, i just realized how boring i am. i have nothing better to do besides sitting at home, watching tv, watching movies that i've watched a 100 times, reading blogs of people that i dont even know. oh my goodness. sigh. this year is definitely more boring. with lesser visitations. tonight is my first family-family dinner at my ann ah yi's house. i cant wait to get out of this house. im amazed at how i managed to stay home.

how pathetic am i right? but oh wells, that's what chinese new year for... staying home, spending time, having family dinners which is quite weird cuz normally we dont sit on the dining table and eat as a family. we have 2 small tables that is fit for one person that is right in front of the tv 24/7. it's nice to eat as a family at the dining table for a change. however, it's not really a family because wing lian is not here.

wing lian, if ur reading this, papa wants me to let u know that they've changed the positions of the furnitures downstairs..... again. i still like the previous arrangements though. however, i wont be able to show u much pictures because u know......... i dont have a nice, black, nikon, 8.1 megapixels. is it a nikon? it's a nikon right? hahaha. i can only show u his work of art with my trusty 2 megapixels camera phone, which im planning to change. =P

cookie
she has her brother, harry, over for a while
euginie didnt want it, so we have to give him back
dont wanna keep him because he's a super hyper, ugly dog
and he's way way skinnier than cookie. duh right? haha

it's YOUR year!!!!!

cute huh?
with the faces and tails making a shape of a heart

the pink ones is papa's work of art

a much closer look

and my festive toes
ahhaha
pls dont say that it looks like a ghost feet
*roar*

baby maiara

2008-02-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

i hope that i spelt her name correctly. kevin and i went and visit siew peng yesterday. we thought her name was spelt as myra. but it wasnt. it's so unique and she's so adorable! her hands and feet are so tiny. she's SO tiny. oh gosh! i didnt even dare to carry her. afraid that i might drop or hurt her

1st cg on the outside

2008-02-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

this year rachel, jessica, and i have moved on to the college group. i felt really weird going to this new group. it's like completing high school all over again. having to find new friends and getting used to them. what more with ashley being so different from delicia. i guess i just need time adjusting.

we had our first cg on the outside last month. we had american breakfast and vision casting. the food was soooooooooooo good. i was stuffed. ahaha.

our yummy food
we had this, 2 types of campbell soup and salad
imagine how stuffed we were
i didnt eat lunch after that

danielle

we were taking tons and tons of pictures
ahhaha
as many ppl would call it as "cam-whoring" or something like that
i just dont like that word
so i refuse to use it

a really comfy chair

cia.... u've accomplished ur work
she wouldnt stop closing one eye
every time we say take picture, she'll close one eye
bahs

pics from my family trip

2008-02-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

oh boy...
the silly things we do
haha

couldnt find our supper place
so had to settle for mcd's

yes... call us kiasu
actually, call my dad kiasu

euginie, ellie, uncle tongan

this place was really nice
couldnt take pictures inside though
they said no pictures =(

ginie

yes, i was smsing kevin =)
a weird rojak
really really weird

after a million years

2008-02-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

i had andrew's hard disk for bout 2 days last week cuz i wanted to do a montage for a presentation in church on sunday. i didnt sleep much cuz i was rushing to get the video done. however, on that day, we couldnt find the video on andrew's super cluttered desktop. seriously.... and he's only using a laptop u know. amazing how his laptop can function with the gazillion stuff on it. ahha. anyways, so i managed to curi pictures after a million years. i havent gotten picture from the year 2006. i cant even remember some of the pictures that i've taken. haha

WARNING!!!!!!
this is gonna be a picture post

teenstreet 06

cc lantern party 07

always there for me to lean on

ashley & mei kin

YF camp 07

crazy girl

my roomies!!!
miss them soo soo much...
especially claire, who will not let us sleep

kiss kiss

watchnight 07

how much she has grown

amazed

2008-01-16T10:03:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning. hoping that i can get a day off from work today. because my legs ached so badly after 2 days of walking back and forth the shop. fulfilling the every wish of the manager. she's nice no doubt. but she can be scary. if she doesnt smile when she looks at u, she can look like a b***h or "chun" la.

these 2 days, actually last week as well, i've been working my butt off. hanging and putting back the clothes after it has been tried. only once in a while the other people would help me, but most of the time, they just stand together near the fitting room and talk. they say that they're waiting to serve the customer.

one of the people that i work with is worse. she claims that she's serving the customer but her job is so simple. she just stand near the fitting room and ask them how is it. if they dont like it, she dumps it into the bucket. if they like it, she goes and get new clothes for them. she waits till the bucket is full then she drags it to me and say it's my job. when she's not doing anything, she doesnt even come and help. there was once, she took a few clothes from the bucket and hang it back, and i was walking around trying to arrange the clothes and accessories, then she came to me, can u put it back? i want to serve the customer. im like "harloooooooooooo....!!!!!! the customer is still trying on the millions of clothes that she brought in. and it's just 5 clothes... cant u hang it back urself????" but of course i didnt say that out loud. u know me..... timid and never stand up for what i want.

and everyday since last week, i keep having headache when it comes to bout 4-5 o'clock. can u imagine it? having a severe headache and running back and forth the shop. sigh. it just caused me to dislike work even more. i used to be able to enjoy it. that's why i took the day off today. my legs is so painful that i can even stand or walk right. it amazes me by how im able to stand in the shower everyday after work. when i come home, it's like im on numb mode. my whole body, head, and mind are like a robot once im home.

as i was doing my QT just now, i read from 1 peter 5:6-11. actually it was suppose to be 8-11 but the other 2 verses was colored so just read it anyway. but it touched me even more.

1 Peter 5:6-11

v6 "humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time"

v7 "cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"

v8 "be self-controlled and alert. your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

v9 "resist him, standing firm in the faith,because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings"

v10 "and the God of all grace, who called you into His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast"

v11 "to Him be the power forever and ever. Amen"

it left me speechless once i read this.

once again, God has showed Himself real to me.
once again, He never fails to amaze me.
once again, He showed that He cared.
once again, i felt that im something in His sight. no longer insignificant

friends

2008-01-16T01:12:00.000+08:00

one is known and popular when one has countless number of friends. when one is known among people and is constantly in people memories. it can be said that having friends is one of the necessities in life. without having at least one friend, we may feel "lost". no one to talk to, no one to confide with, no one to share life's unexpected turns.

for me, ever since high school, it has gone down hill. what do i mean, u ask... let's just say that during high school, it was easy for me to find friends. soon, they became my closest friends. it's easy because i see them everyday in school. spending time with them. ever since i left high school, it has been hard for me to keep in touch. im not very good in keeping in touch. guess that's when i lost them.

im only good in keeping in touch when i have a common place to meet them. like school, i see them more often because u have to go there for 5 days a week. some people say that u spend more time with friends at school than u do with ur family. once school isnt a common place for me and my friends, slowly, i begin to lose contact with them.

i started working in cats whiskers at bangsar. and it felt weird because here i was meeting new people. and after a week or so, they were like my friends. they were nice to me. talk to me bout everything. shared with me bout their lives. and it made me feel like i was a part of them. they were the ones who made me enjoy working at cats even though it was tiring. it was kinda like back at high school... where u cant wait for the next day to come so that u can go to school and meet ur friends.

when i entered into college, it was a whole new scenario. having "thousands" of people in the same building. seeing the same faces everyday except that u dont know their names. im quite good at faces. once i've seen u, i can remember u the next time. i guess that's the worse part. i remember them but they dont remember me.

it was worse when i started class and we only have like 5-6 people in the class. then we hung out and ate lunch together. then botswana students came in. and everyone separated, finding their own cliques. by then, i wasnt close to the 5-6 people anymore. and whenever i see them in the hallway or in college itself, they just pretended that they dont know me and walk pass me.

that was the worst part. when people u knew back then, just walk pass u and pretend they didnt know u. not even a single "hello" or a smile. i felt like an idiot when i smiled at them. it was really sad for me because by then i realize how hard it is to find people whom u can call "friend". i mean i had a few friends that i ate lunch with, studied with, and hung out with but still.... i felt like i didnt belong anywhere. i felt so horrible because i wasnt close to my high school friends anymore.

now, here i am. working at cats again. hoping to find friends. the kinda friends that makes me wanna go back to work the next day. but the people that im working with now.....makes me dread coming to work. because they are the exact same people like my college "friends".

i just feel that im one of the characters in a book. one that is spoken about and then after a while, if u dont read the book anymore, u'll forget bout the character and what happened to the character.

while writing bout this post, it reminded me of the song - who am i by casting crowns. and it's really true. that we're like a flower quickly fading, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind but still he choose to care and call us His.

peace came over me because after all that i've felt... at least i have God, my Father, my Lover, my FRIEND to count on. im sure His love for me and His longing to be my friend is greater than anyone here on earth.

the many happenings

2008-01-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

2 big, huge happenings last year..

my brother planned to go aussieland for good
i failed my BM

i know i know... it's a little too late for me to post it. since it's like long time ago right. oh wells.... who cares. hahaha.

as for my BM, i was pretty upset that i failed it. i tried talking to my lecturers and even the head of the pre-u department about my inability to speak or write in proper BM sentences. finally, they managed to find something for me to do to make me pass. really really thank God because 3 people that i've met in the pre-u department told me that nothing can be done and that i have to retake the stupid BM course again which costs bout rm 320. luckily my BM lecturer which was the 2nd person whom i talked to was a really really nice person she asked me to talk to the head of the pre-u deparment since she's a temp and cant make any decisions. she liked me. she said that i was like 1 out of 10 teenage ppl who bersopan santun to older ppl. whatever that means. haha. but i think it was something nice. hahaha.

as for this month, im taking a self-declared holiday because im just too lazy to go out and ask bout my future opportunities. i mean..... not lazy... but just trying to delay stuff u know..? hahaha. bahs. sheesh

yesterday was one of the worst day of my life.

i had to work on a public holiday
my brother was leaving at night

i was really dreading the whole day. what with the public holiday... everyone suddenly became richer and decided to have some retail therapy. i was telling my friend that we should just leave the clothes in the bucket and let them find it themselves. because the bucket was near the couch. so they would just sit there and rummage through the whole thing. so what's the used of us doing the extra work eh...? hehehe

i left early from work. left at bout 6 to the airport. i didnt feel sad on the way there.............. UNTIL....... i saw a few airplane landing and taking off. then did i realize that it's real that my brother is leaving. throughout the whole week, i kept thinking whether i will cry in the airport (because when he left for canada the last time, i cried) or whether i will be sad that he's leaving.

imagine my shock when the tears came when he hugged me and even more when he left and we were hanging around the sending-the-person-off area. i sobbed so loud wei. haha. no la. actually when i saw those planes landing and taking off, i already had tears in my eyes. just that i willed myself not to cry and be strong. even when i came home, it felt weird seeing an empty room. it's not THAT empty, what with my junk that im too lazy to clear off, but it was empty with his junk. normally my room would be super SUPER messy cuz of his stuff flying here and there *evil grin*

i cried even when i was going to sleep because he wont.....
come into my room in the middle of the night to go the toilet - not that i always notice it... hahaha
be digging his nose and wiping it off on my clothes
wake me up with a whistle and trying to act like the black guy from white chicks
fetch me to places
buy me mcd's at weird hours of the day
mess up my room
get on my nerves
bully me anymore
be able to make me his "slave" - i guess that's what younger siblings are for
fight for the toilet with me - now i just have to fight with han lian
fart or burp near me
be torturing my dogs anymore

actually..... there's alot more bout him that i'll miss. but im just too lazy to write bout it somemore. ahah. so oh wells. and it's late now anyways. gotta go sleep. and i know that his head is gonna be so HUGE after reading this. ahhaa. awwww man... writing this post makes me cry somemore. ish! stop it....!

i MISS u so much khoh khoh!!!! ='(

exciting year?

2008-01-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

well well well... the much infamous phrase......

2007 has gone and 2008 is here

i've been missing for quite some time. too lazy to update my blog. but after much blog stalking, it has caused me to think back bout 2007. bout how much i've done, how far i've come, how much i've grown

honestly saying.... im not ready to let go of 2007. it's not like i've had many exciting events in 2007. but im just not ready to be 20 this year. can u believe it...? im 20 this year??? i cant believe it. haha.

i remember......
my new years resolution - which i dont think i've accomplished anything
my first class for my foundation - which was nerve wrecking
my first valentine's day with kevin
being so filled with homework and assignments - which i thought i was gonna die
my first sem exams
meeting new people in college - being unable to accept the fact that im in college
our first year anniversary
the fights, the moments where i feel like giving up
having big plans that i've wanted to do for God
thinking that im not good enough but took on alot more things than i expected
feeling lonely cuz i felt like i've lost all my friends

i thought i was the weird one. cuz i felt like last year passed by so quickly. guess im not the only one. even saying 'last year' feels weird. cuz i still feel like im in 2007. bahs. i hope that the reason why i felt like the year passed by so fast is because i was doing alot of fun and exciting stuff and not cause i was wasting my time doing nonsense.

i hope 2008 will be way way better than 2007. with more accomplishments and achievements. i dont want to end 2008 feeling like i've done nothing other than being an excellent couch potato.

an impromptu trip up to genting after my trip from malacca
thanks jon, marc, and my darling for my first spontaneous trip! =)
enjoyed it =)

i wish u all a GREAT and EXCITING new year!
with more adventures and unexpected AWESOME plans from God

watchnight 07
love u girls!

family trip

2007-12-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

malacca here i come!

im so gonna miss my dearest darling sweetheart honey baby =(

actually... im starting to miss him already =(

i wish he could change his mind
oh wells.... i'll force him to come next year
hmph!

p.s this is prolly the most silliest picture of him that i can post up. dont wanna humiliate him. oh the things he does to make me smile

I
LOVE
YOU
BABY!

wedding

2007-12-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

wow.. i didnt realize that it has been such a long time since i've last blogged. time has certainly flew past and in a matter of days... it's christmas. then the end of the year. my oh my. this year has definitely passed so fast that it has left me in a daze. i cant believe that i have ended my foundation year and now i have to sit down and think bout which course and which uni. but i have a feeling that the decision has already been made.

it's not like i hate kids. it's just that i dont think i can control them. i dont think that i can be a teacher. i mean like harloooo... even the kids in children church dont listen to me. the ppl in my dorm doesnt listen to me. how would i get a class of naughty-manja-ed-spoit brat kids to listen to me....??

howw...???

anyway... this is not my point of this post. this post is to talk bout kevin's cousin's wedding. ahhaa. phew. btw, his name is kenny. and the reason why im posting all of this in one night is cuz im gonna go for a day trip to JB tmr. and i've fallen ill. so if i dont blog now...... im not sure when will i ever blog. i havent felt this sick for a long time. normally, im the one who takes care of kevin cuz he falls ill more often than i do. but this time it's the other way around. and it feels quite nice actually. aahha.

ANYWAYY....!!!!! seeee.... im talking bout something else again. sheesh. so the wedding..... well, it was quite nice. it's different la. they had a wedding the week before in sarawak. then they had one here. let's just say.... it was a very VERY long day for me. it was church in the morning.... had to "tear" myself apart for a short practice and meeting, then rushed to grace's house to bath, then rush back, ate lunch, had meeting, then cc christmas party began. it all happened in a blink of an eye till i got gastric. how fun could that be. then when it was time for refreshments, i rushed off to get changed for the wedding dinner. then off i flew to saujana hotel or resort... whatever.

so i made it in time for the blessing. that's what they call it. but actually it's the ceremony. it was weird. really really weird. the moment was so awkward and weird. i rather like our church weddings. it's so much better and casual. not so tense. so anyway.... on came the dinner. it was in the room where nelson had his wedding ceremony. it was once again.... weird. cuz normally the weddings we have in church is like tables and tables and tables of guests. but this was just a small dinner. 90% family and 10% colleagues and friends i guess... or should i say 95% and 5%. it was so different. i felt so awkward. what with me being not close to anyone in his family at all. i barely knew all of them. the only ppl that i literally know is his parents. his aunties and uncles were all friendly. but none our age. well.... there were... but they arent close as well. he has young cousins, nieces, and nephews. sigh.

my first 2 flowers from him!
FOC =)

random thoughts

2007-12-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

sometimes we love someone so much that we're afraid to lose them
we try our very best to keep them close to our side
making sure that nothing or no one can ever take them away
but most of the time, we dont realize how tight we hold on to them
it might be so tight that they dont have space for air to breathe

never forget the happy times during the bad
cuz sometimes...
that's what helps to keep the relationship going

camp camp camp

2007-12-02T18:52:00.001+08:00

camp is tomorrow!
camp is tomorrow!

im so not ready!
im so not ready!

trains

2007-12-01T01:34:00.000+08:00

i've sat the lrt this week more than i've sat in my entire life. i've never imagined myself sitting the train just like any normal people. i would always choose a car rather than the train. however, if it's an adventure..... im up for it! =) actually... it depends on who i sit it with la. i dont always sit the train with random people u know. hahaa. sorry. it's late and if i dont blog bout it now.... im afraid i wont have time.

we went to the pavillion on tuesday. it was his way of helping me to celebrate my merdeka day. i had a great time my darling. really really fun! doing all the silly things on the train. we entertained them well. we should have collected money from them huh? sheesh. wasted. bahs.

then we went down to kl on thursday for a whole different purpose. i'll let u have a wild guess......
it involves a tie and a dress shirt, slacks and dress shoes. the mood is serious and nerve wrecking.

guessed it???

yeah well.. being a GREAT girlfriend i am. i decided to give him some entertainment and decided to teman him down to kl. risking my passion for aircond and my "fair" skin. seriously... i told him if i got darker i'll so kill him. so anyway..... off we went for his "interview" as an intern...

what more do we need other than a picture to capture the start of the fun journey
besides, we need a picture where we're not sweating like pigs to keep as memory

in the train
i know.. the lighting is not good. oh wells
whatever

when we've finally reached masjid jamek station as we were told by his cousin. we walked out of the station and just practically stared at our surroundings because we have no idea where we were and all i could remember was the burger king at our right. i remembered that was one on the stops we had during the amazing race. so anyway..... there we were.... looking at all the sign boards which was of no help. looked at everyone walking here and there. drivers who are like uncontrolled maniacs. and at the same time..... the sun was showing no mercy at all

we were walking and walking and walking non stop. i felt like my legs were going to break off. i was so pissed at him cuz he wouldnt stop to ask for directions. u know.... man and their ego's? thinking that they will figure it out and that they dont need the help of others. seriously.... at that moment... with the sun scorching, there is no room for male ego.

so we were suppose to find CIMB and have it to our left. so we found CIMB.... but it was on our right. so i said we should turn around and walk. then he said if we were at the other side of CIMB, it'll still be on our left. so fine... didnt wanna argue with him and decided to follow him. silently i was hoping he was wrong so that i could kill him after.

finally.... he gave in to my constant complains and decided to ask non other than the car park attendant. i was at the verge of screaming!!!!! i mean.... no offense to car park attendants. but but but...... seriously. directions from car park attendants??? bahs. ugh. scream. slap. whack. bang.

then we ask this uncle getting off his bike. and he told us to go straight and then turn right. i was like going to burst di. so off we went.... we walked straight and then i was like... emmm, when do we turn right? there's too many right turnings here. so i said let's just turn right here. so we turned into this dodgy indian place. filled with indians. awww man. im so going to get killed after i write this post. first is car park attendants now indians. people might think that im prejudice. so anyways....

so we walked and walked and decided to go back to CIMB bank. then we found this staff outside smoking and we asked him. then he said it's really far away from the bank and suggested that we get a cab. but HEEEEE didnt wanna get a cab. so we had to find maybank and it's behind it. so guess what? we continued walking...

then we couldnt find a way to get behind maybank. then we stopped this lady and asked her. then she told us it's a brown building and told us where we should walk and stuff. and all the while we were finding for a pinkish building because......!!!!!! kevin's cousin told us that BURSA whatever is a pinkish building. sheesh. i was freaking pissed off by then. i told kevin that if the company do not have a full blast aircond, im so going to kill him.

so thank God... we managed to find the building. and it was really nice. the toilets were amazingly clean. the atmosphere was really nice. they even have a multipurpose court and squash courts. cool eh?! so we went and clean up. tidy up. kevin wore his tie. then off we went and get directions to where the office is.

here we are... sitting opposite a library.
waiting for time to pass by a little
we arrived earlier
the "interview" was at 5
we were there by 4 plus

we sat and pray
commit things to God

this is the reception area
as u walk in, u'll pass the reception area on ur right
this is where we sat while we waited and watched tv
opposite this red cushion, is this really nice and comfy sofa

when ur at the front glass door
u get to see this really huge sign
he fell in love with this sign
we were thinking of ways to take a picture of him with this huge sign

then u turn right and there's this small cozy pantry
they have this nescafe machine
we loved one of the drinks there
it's called choco-chino
super yummy!

so we sat and waited
waited
waited
waited
waited
waited
waited
waited
waited

he was patiently waiting

and i was pissed off

remember i said the "interview" was at 5?
we went in at 4.25
we waited till 6 something
we waited for 2 hours plus
close to 3

STUPID ASTRO AWANI!
BOYCOTT THAT CHANNEL!
i didnt even know what channel was it
didnt even knew it existed

finally!
he managed to take a picture with it

forced him to do it
i was so bored and pissed till i didnt care bout how silly we were

so at about 6.40 something, close to 7, the guy called him in and talked to him. guess how long it lasted?? 10 minutes....? it was so damn fast. he got in and in a matter of seconds, he came out. i was so PISSED!!!!!! seriously. ugh! even now as i write bout thursday.... i can still feel the anger! ugh!

oh wells... i think all in all. that trip made us both closer to each other. we ended the day with tears and a DMC. it was good la. though it was full of different mixture of emotions. haha!

i would like to thank the car park attendant and the uncle-who-got-down-from-his-bike, thanks for giving us all the wrong directions. and to the staff of CIMB who-was-out-taking-his-cigarette-break, and the aunty who-was-walking-from-somewhere who finally has some sense of direction. they were all very nice people. didnt think we were suspicious ppl trying to rob them or something.

and to those who are still reading to this very point. thanks. ahha!

btw, today was the 3rd time we went down to kl. this time we went to the pavillion. cuz the forever21 in 1u sucks. so we had to make a last minute trip down to kl just to get my dress for kevin's cousin's wedding. and maybe christmas...? i told kevin that im gonna thank his cousin for his "good" sense of directions with a toast and a pour of soda down his shirt. hahha.. nah, just joking *angelic smile*

thanks babe for bringing me down to kl for a last minute shopping. rushed like crazy people. ahaa =)

swing swing

2007-11-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

he has been good to her... telling that he's here for her no matter how she felt. that he'll never leave her and that she's THE girl. he loves her so much that he's willing to sacrifice alot of things just to make her happy. just seeing her smile makes his heart flutter and his palms sweat. hearing her say i love u makes him grin like a little child who found a box full of treasure.

however, sad to say, the girl let fear and uncertainty grip her. insecurity threatened her to the edge of the cliff. no, she would not literally kill herself. never would she think bout taking her own life. but deep down inside.... she's dying slowly. inch by inch the fear, uncertainty, and insecurity was eating away her joy, her laughter, her happiness.

he feels so frustrated because of the way she's acting. he's asking himself what has he done to deserve this treatment when all he did was showing his love for her. he's wondering what made her act the way she's acting right now. what made her turn her back to him. he could feel her slowly fading away and he pushed himself to hold tight to her. never letting her out of his side and heart.

all she could think about is what-if's. what-if things ended differently. what-if things werent like how they are now. what-if she made a different choice. what-if.... what-if... with all her might she could not stop this series of questions entering her head. she wanted to run away from all of it. when finally she realized. she realized that she tried to do all this by her own might. by her own strength.

she finally understood why was it so hard for her to get over it and accept the fact. it was because of her choice. her decisions. her decisions to wallow in depression rather than bracing the fact that he did choose her! he didnt choose anyone else. but he decided to choose her. her choice of doing everything by her own strength and not God's. that was the solution. God is the solution!

2007-11-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

God fulfills my every need
and my every want
i dont need anyone else to do that for me

the knight in black blazer strikes again

2007-11-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

well well well
once again the knight in black blazer has come to save the princess

so what has he done this time to receive such an appreciation, one might ask
was it that he bought her the puppy that she has always wanted?
was it an all expense paid shopping spree for an entire lifetime?
or was it a getaway trip to somewhere romantic?

although the princess would love all that, there's just some things money cant buy

1. money cant buy a sincere effort

2. money cant buy joy and laughter

3. money cant buy sunshines and rainbows

4. money certainly cannot buy a person's love for another

last but not least....
money cant buy time together with the one u love

the knight and princess spent 2 full days trying to make the most yummy-not-so-sweet-rainbow-colored jellies. not only did they had the most enjoyable time getting to know each other, they got into a huge fight every time they started making those jellies. but what matters is that in the end.... the love that they have for each other is still strong like the first time sparks flew between them

however, no matter how much the both of them would love a happy ever after like all fairy tales do, they would settle for a day-to-day basis of a "happy ever after"

till the next time.... xoxo =)

randoms

2007-11-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

he's super super super super cute!
names galvin chan!
adorable little baby
has cute, natural, VERY soft spiky hair

actually he wasnt THAT fat and chubby
it's just the angle that i took him with
i was carrying him while i was taking a picture of him
hence the double chin and the huge nostrils
but nooooo.... he's not fat

on a very different note......
here's one of the random things we do in college
when we're bored
with too much paper in the comp lab to spare (since i dont think i'll ever wanna study in KDU again)
and too much time in our hands
we managed to create a crowd while doing this.....

wonder what we were doing?
ahhahaha

THIS!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

we even printed it out as well.. since i had like bout 100 over paper to spare.
for each colored print = 10 paper
for each normal print = 1 paper

so we printed out kevin's notes. which took longer than we expected. let's just say we were trying to "fully utilize" the services that the college offered. hahaha *evil grin*

from all the nonsense we did.... we had extra paper. so we decided to print out a picture with our own doodling on it. kevin wanted a star on the picture but i didnt let him to draw one. so anyway, we were SO incredibly smart that we decided to do this in a comp lab that was opposite the printing area. so everyone who was there waiting in line to print their stuff was staring into our comp screen and laughing at what we were doing

but oh wells..... they never knew how fun it felt. booooo to those who tries to act all too matured and prestigious to do such a thing. =P

hair cuts

2007-11-14T13:54:00.000+08:00

oh the silly things we do
this was on the way for family dinner

my little warrior

after a hair cut
he looked so cute with what the hairstylist did for him
but he had to mess it up
bahs
nevermind
ur still hamsome to me
ahhahahahha

it's been 11 months

2007-11-13T22:50:00.000+08:00

it has been 11 months since i've been in KDU. and i've come to realize how horrible the place is. im sure God has placed me there for a purpose. hope i've touched lives and have been a blessing to ppl

Ms. Shirley
my computing lecturer
KDU should suffer for such a great lose of good and talented lecturer
they should cover their faces and be ashamed of themselves for letting her go

winnie

she's a really funny person la
seriously
never regretted knowing her
but sometimes can make u REALLY irritated

phew finally! i can breathe again!

2007-11-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

i've been having finals... hence, the long long long M-I-A

today marks the end of my finals! woooo hooooooo!!!!

*phew*

but the worst part has yet to come
my results is coming out on the 20 something of this month
still gotta pray bout it
that all my lecturers are blind and they think that all my answers are correct

even though it's a relieve that my exams are over
BUT
i still have uni to think bout
like what course
blablabla

im currently liking the idea of going to HELP
but..... still havent found what i love yet

well, i love babies as well as taking care of expectant mothers
but....... i dont think there's any course here that offers such a thing

bahs

headache headache

whatever! bahs!
dont wanna think bout it

im going to enjoy sleeping late
waking up late
playing games
doing whatever i want besides studying for the moment
wanna let my brains rest abit

hahaha
like as if it has worked alot
but considered quite alot la

here am i

2007-10-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

instead of studying for my accounts test tmr which i know i will obviously fail.... i am actually playing with facebook (and by playing... i mean playing with my pet), reading all the blogs that i can find, playing games, and disturbing kevin.

i mean what's the point of studying when this is just a trial exam? it's not counted anyways.... so why am i worrying bout it? well, actually.... to be truthful to myself. by studying this week, i can actually save alot of time the next week stuffing everything into my brains. because the week after next is my finals and i have no idea whatsoever about what im studying this sem. sigh.

what's worse is that though i get so-called "good" grades in my comp and accounts. i still have no idea what am i studying. most of the time i just read and feed my brains and vomit everything out as i do my exam

ewwwwwww.... i feel so gross when i talk bout vomiting and stuff. sheesh. what's wrong with me. must be the skit practice. hahaa. nah, just joking

awww man... i better get going and study my formula's. but what's the point...??? i have no idea how to start on the questions. most of the time i just wait till it's class and then wait till my lecturer tells me every single thing to do and every single answer. sigh. this is bad this is bad

im thankful for this week's trials. it definitely has helped me see how see-tuuu-pidd i am... bahs. faint. whyyyy God...?? whyyyy...??? why am i such a procrastinator????

oh wells... im gonna go rest my brains by playing some games first. then i'll get down to studying

*angelic grin*

tata!!!

im certainly going crazy

cats cats

2007-10-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

gonna do abit of promoting for cats. ahahah. cheh wah. siew peng should pay me more money on top of my pay. bahs. nonsense. she better not see this. anyway, as u all know, i was working at cats last week. i worked an extra day cuz one of the workers was still sick. thank God i worked for another day.

that was the day where new stock came in. and i love love love love new stock. eventhough it's extra work.... but i love rummaging through the pile for fresh new yummy clothes other than those that i always see in the shop.

but we didnt manage to finish up clearing the new stock cuz of the many customers who tried a gazillion clothes and only bought a few. word of advice. if ur not getting it and u think it wont look good on u.... pls pls pls... think twice before u try it on. it really kills the workers. u'll understand when u work in that position. my back has been killing me ever since i've started working at cats. cuz of the mountain load of clothes they try.

oh yeah... where was i.... i was talking bout new stock right? as we were packing up the stuff to leave, i notice this huge plastic bag underneath the counter. so the pat kua me decided to rummage through the bag and guess what i found.....

SHADESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

that makes me look like a fly!!!!!

how nice *grins*

this was not all.. there was somemore but i was too lazy to take somemore pictures and i wanted to leave at that time. so oh wells..... hahahaha =)

i almost forgot that cats was bringing in some shades.

oh wells, gotta wait for another month or so till i go back to working at cats =)

oh yeah oh yeah....

they have a blog toooo *click click click to go see*

siew peng should really really pay me now. ahhahaa.

the gardens

2007-10-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

kevin and i went to the gardens on friday. we fell in love with that place. it looks so much comfy than the pavillion. before we went, i was reading one of this blog that i stalk, she said that whoever went to the gardens should really try the sofas on the ground floor. i told kevin about it and everytime we wanted to go and sit on the sofa, there'll be like handful of people sitting on the sofa. so being the shy me, i wanted a time where we had the whole sofa place to ourselves. but too bad, we didnt have that chance. so i only managed to try it by the time we had to leave =)

the place is really nice. once we've walked in the gardens and when u moved back to midvalley u can feel the drastic change of atmosphere. it's definitely not as nice to walk in midvalley but still there is more crowd over at midvalley. oh wells, i wonder how are they all gonna compete with each other. seriously.

i love this criss crossy way

this effect is really cool
at the other side of the wall, there's about 5 light projectors or something
and around it there's like loads of small little lights
bahs
dont know how to explain la
go see it for urself
kevin says they are trying to kill 2 birds with one stone
sheesh
ahahahha

going up and down the escalator in the robinsons

at the sofa
we laughed and laughed so much

shock

2007-10-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

i was so shocked and emmmmm.... flabbergasted today. once was bad enough. but noooo... it was twice. God certainly did not prepare me for today. sigh. well, what happened was that i found out that 2 of my friends (well, cant really call them my friends cuz im not close to them... just emmm... normal friends...? i dont know) anyways.... emmm.. where was i....? oh yeah.... well, siew peng told me today that she had to let go the manager in bangsar. the one who i work with last year.

she was really nice. friendly. she was like a big sister to me. she bought me lunches or dinner. told me what good foods are there in bangsar. what clothes to get from cats whiskers. i was growing to love the manager as well as the other girl (the 3 of us usually work together) the reason why siew peng had to sack the previous manager was cuz she stole from the shop. a couple of times. that's why

so that was a shocker there.......

anyways.... today i started work again at cats. today and tmr to be exact. siew peng called me before the hols, asking me whether me or my friends wanna work.... so i asked this girl in my math class. i cant say that we're close, good buds. but we talk occasionally. mostly bout math and studies. mostly. and i asked my friend whether she wanna work. she was really excited to work at cats cuz it's like her most fav. store or something.

the horrific call came at bout 9 something at night while i was out with kevin. from siew peng. i was surprised that she called me. and guess why she called....? my friend stole from the shop and the manager found out and the manager no longer wants my friend to work at cats. i was so shocked and surprised. kevin was so worried. he was wondering what happen.. cuz i kept apologizing to siew peng. i was so disappointed. seriously. oh my goodness. i told kevin that luckily this happened towards the end of my foundation..... if not i dont know how am i gonna face my friend.

seriously.... i dont know why this is happening to me. but i was doing my QT this morning. and it was talking bout the circumstances in our lives. the bad circumstances. and through that, we should learn to trust God because God can see the bigger picture and we can only see this far. and that God will use our circumstances for the benefit of our future. well, i dont know what is He trying to teach me now. maybe to teach me not to trust ppl so easily. or that ppl i think i can trust will one day betray me. i dont know. sigh. this is so complicated

im still shocked over what has happened. i seriously seriously feel so sorry. i feel so guilty. dont know how am i gonna face siew peng. awwwwwwwwwww man

day trip to kl part 2

2007-10-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

well, im not sure whether u guys remember our first adventurous trip to kl via train. *click*

this time on friday, we went to kl again. this time we decided to go to this new shopping complex called the pavillion. we went for pan mee in the morning and off we went to subang ktm train station and there our journey begun. at first, we wanted to go to midvalley's the garden. but we decided pavillion because we can go midvalley anytime. also because we dont know kl roads. so it'll be dangerous for us to drive down to kl.

too bad this time we didnt get anything. we were so depressed because we saw sooo much stuff that we wanted to buy but couldnt. sheesh. nevermind.... i'll go shopping when i work at cats this week. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *evil grin*

just leaving the pan mee place

we parked in carrefour and walked to the ktm station

waiting for the train at the ktm station
now i realize how blue the sky was
bahs

actually, i cant remember where were we
hahaha
bahs
i think we've reached emmmm what's that place called?
isetan or something
the same area as bukit bintang and stuff

we went to pavillion with a goal. we wanted to try out this donut place called j co. or something like that. kennysia.com blogged bout it. but the one that he was talking bout was in jakarta or something. however, we didnt get to achieve our goal because my poor baby's wisdom tooth decided to give him trouble on that day. so cham. he didnt had the mood to do silly and crazy stuff

he was still doing silly stuff but not as silly as his usual self. hahhahaa but we still had fun la.. slipping and sliding our way from shop to shop. ahahaha. if u know what i mean dear =)

our trip however, was cut short by the stupid rain. sighhh.. and this time it wasnt like the last time. it wasnt drizzling. this time we could really see the dark clouds and the wind was so strong. gosh! i was so scared. we wanted to leave at bout 3 something 4 but we had to leave at bout 2 if we dont wanna get caught in the horrible rain

i think it's a sign. a sign that we shouldnt take public transport. because it rained as well the last time we went on our adventurous trip. maybe we should drive next time. ahahah =) but kevin thinks otherwise. so anyway..... when we reached the monorail station, it started drizzling. then when we stopped at kl central, it was raining slightly heavily. and when we reached subang ktm station. fuiyohhhhhhhh!!!!! it was scary!!!!!! the rain was so heavy. the thunderstorm was so loud! everyone had to wait there because if u were to run to ur car, u would be drenched. u would look like u just showered in ur clothes or something. so we wait till the rain subsided which was at bout 3 something 4. bahs *sweat*

so many people were looking at us when we took pictures. they must be thinking what jakuns we were. hahaha

look at how drenched we were
when we ran, the rain subsided a little
but it wasnt drizzling at all
it was fun running in the rain
we laughed till our stomach hurt
hahahaha

he's sweet after all..... ahahahha

2007-10-14T17:57:00.000+08:00

usually, i have 2 hour breaks on thursday. so kevin comes earlier to find me for lunch then i'll have an hour class then i'll find him again. then i'll go back. but last thursday, he did something really really sweet for me.

he arrived in college at bout 12

estee: where u wanna eat? i feel like eating wan tan mee
kevin: no no.. we go eat at the mamak (some place near college. which looks really dodgy and gross!)
estee: noooooooooooooooooooo.. i dont wanna eat there. *throws tantrum*
kevin: yesss... we're going there

there's a park opposite of the mamak. so he parked beside the park and we sat there for a while. he said he cooked lunch. maggi mee goreng with chicken drummets. i was shocked. it was so sweet of him. ehhe. the weather was great as well! it was so windy and there was no sun because it rained in the morning. so we sat in the pondok. ate. and we proceeded to the swing. ehhe =)

sorry
it's a little blur
i dont have a good camera okay
it's just my phone

the cook

the satisfied girlfriend

he deserved a kiss

i lubs u babes

that's it..... he's so gonna cook next time. he's so much of a better cook than i am. hahaha. but of course i wanna cook as well.

dear.. i know i didnt show much of a surprise that day. but i really appreciate every effort u've put in to make my day better. thanks so much darling sweetheart honey! =)

p.s: the sun came out and the wind stopped when we decided to leave. God really answered ur prayers huh? ehhehe. if not it'll definitely wont be a fun lunch. ahahaha

p.s i love u

the silly things that we do when we're bored

2007-10-14T17:40:00.000+08:00

all of these pictures where editted in my phone

dear God

2007-10-09T17:11:00.000+08:00

Dear God,
Pls help me to grow to be who u want me to be. I want to be a person who is loved by everyone. A person that people turn to for advice, comfort, or for just a simple hug. Help me to love myself and to know who i am in Ur sight. Turn my ears from the whispers of the devil to the sweet, loud voice of Urs.

Give me comfort whenever I'm scared and afraid.
Reassure me whenever I feel lost and hopeless.
Let Ur love overflow in me, overflow to everyone around me.
Grant me peace whenever I'm in doubt, whenever i need Ur help.
Pick me up when it's too much and when I'm drowning
Hug me whenever i feel overwhelmed with everything and anything

God, mold me to be a better person day by day. Though i make it a daily routine to complain about the work U are doing in my life, pls dont get angry with me and zap me with Ur very scary lightning. I wanna love U more and more each day. Help me to hold on to Ur promises.

from Ur daughter

wish i knew the answer

2007-10-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

we are told to listen closely to what God has to say
to see whether we have the peace in our hearts whenever we do something
but what if u cant hear what He has to say
and u chose something which is not God's BEST for u
and after a few months after making that choice,
u feel that u've made a mistake
the things around shows that it's wrong
thoughts that tell u that u've made the wrong choice

what should u do?

but on the other hand,
maybe ur just over thinking it
maybe ur just over sensitive
maybe it's all in ur mind
maybe u have made the RIGHT choice
but u let circumstances and problems separate u from the truth

life is so full of choices
sometimes i just wish that im forced to make one choice only
no a,b,c,d, or all of the above
i want just a or just b
i dont want to have the freedom to choose
well, most of the time i feel that way
but it's not good to have just one choice

making choices helps u to know who u are
what's ur priority
what or who u let to make the choice for u

sometimes i hate life altogether
but i love life as well
sometimes i hate feelings
but i love it when i feel the butterflies in my stomach, goosebumps, joy, happiness, etc

i learnt during quiet time today
that through trials
we can develop perseverance
by overcoming trials
we are able to come out better and stronger than we were before

but whyyyyy....???
i dont want i dont want
*pouts*
sigh
whatever
sheesh
bahs
grrrrrrr
roarrrrr

baby visitation

2007-10-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

kevin and i decided to visit nelson and yvonne on wednesday. wanted to go see their new home. it's so beautiful. we loved it the moment we reached the guard house. hahahaa. the area was nice, their house was gorgeous. really really nice. hahaha

nelson and yvonne

i dont know why i always get to carry him when he's crying
now people are gonna think that i torture him
sigh

i always love to see kevin with kids or babies
just love it =)

LUKE

everything and more

2007-10-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

wow..... feels like it has been ages since i've last updated. wonder why i havent been updating. dont feel like updating anymore cuz my life has been so boring. it's not so emmm... exciting as some people.

i was doing my usual things this afternoon cuz normally i wont be able to use the comp once wing lian comes back from work. i was blog-stalking for a while. and i came across this blog. i shall not say who's but it made me think. made me remember bout yesteryear.

i suddenly felt like i was somewhere different. felt like i was caught in the middle of no where. my mind kept rewinding without me have any control whatsoever. i felt like i was in the movie "click". u know the part where he could go and choose the part of his life and see what happened. i felt like that

im the kind of person who loves to think bout the past
think bout what-ifs
think bout should have's

i went back to the time where a part of my heart died away. the time where i felt like i dont know why he dont love me anymore. dont know what to do with my life. the time where i felt like everything and everyone in the world is against me

when we became nothing else but friends, i thought that i wont be able to find another guy like him. well, u see..... at that moment, i thought that he was the one. thought that he was THE one that i would wanna marry someday. i refuse to listen to my parents, to my leaders, to my friends. i shut them out and continued on this relationship that i myself knew would end someday

however, when the relationship came to an end, though i knew it would end, i couldnt help but to wallow in sadness and depression. i felt like there's no more sunshine, no more smiles, no more hope. but im glad that today, im proud to say that i can have tons of sunshine, tons of smiles, tons of hope because of God. He has proved that He'll never leave me. that He'll never let me go through anything alone.

i never thought that i would be who i am today. i would never imagine myself teaching in cradle roll class. never imagine myself being involve in youth camp or even the youth for that matter. never imagine myself bringing a friend to Christ. never imagine myself being more and more in love with God

most importantly, i never thought i would love again. i never thought that i would find someone who loves me so much (besides God)

it's so funny whenever i talk to kevin, i always reminiscence of the times when we were getting to know each other. dont get me wrong..... we are still getting to know each other. ehehhe.

we were always sms-ing each other. chatting on msn. i was always giving him wake-up calls so that he'll be able to go for his never-will-happen-morning-jog. he used to drag jon along just so that we can watch movies together without feeling awkward

i've learnt something very useful today. sometimes a relationship can be short. sometimes a relationship can be forever. it lasts forever because we choose to love that person, choose to accept that person, choose to be with that person, choose he/she.

sometimes u think that what u have or what u want is THE best that God can give u. but it's not... it's not... God can give u something far much better, far much greater than u can ever think or imagine.

sorry... quite a wordy post. ahaha. dont feel like posting up pictures =)

HAVE A
GREAT DAY! =)

hope u were blessed by this post

p.s: i love u, babes =)

i learnt

2007-09-26T17:33:00.000+08:00

i've learnt not to procrastinate
but yet i still do, no matter how many times i tell myself

i've learnt not to expect so much from a person
because when u dont get what u expect, u'll be damn sad
but yet i still expect too much

i've learnt not to think so much
but yet i still think alot, and i mean alot
too much to even count it

i've learnt to let God have control over my life
but yet i still wanna take over and tell Him how it's done

i've learnt to not be so sensitive
but yet i still take everything personally

i've learnt to forgive and forget
but yet i still keep everything inside
bottle it up and bury it deep down inside

i've learnt to say im sorry whenever i know i did something wrong
but yet sometimes i still let my pride get the best of me

u think i dont miss the times where we can laugh non-stop?
we laugh at almost nothing at all
and u know that even a simple thing would make me burst out in laughter

u think i dont miss the times where we get to spend the whole day together?
it's enough just knowing that we're together
sitting or walking side-by-side

u think i dont miss the times where we can talk bout anything?
where we would just call or sms each other for nothing

u think i dont miss the times where we are all lovey-dovey?
with no worries in the world
with no arguments
with no disagreements
with no sadness

u think i like being like this?
feeling the tension everytime im near u
letting the numbness get to me
allowing myself to drop further and deeper into the black pit
u think i love it?

i hate moments like this too
moments where i cant express how i really feel cuz of the anger inside
moments where i cant say i love u when i know deep down inside i still do
moments where tears just comes non-stop in the middle of the night
moments where i just feel like giving up
moments where i just dont know what to do or say
moments where we're not lovey dovey
moments that makes us uncomfortable

hip hop puppy

2007-09-21T17:57:00.000+08:00

my dad bought a size too small for cookie. so we went and change the size. i saw one that was really cute. it was in a pretty pink. sooo u know. i wanted that. it says von dog instead of von dutch or whatever. ahaha. weird shirts that u find for a dog. seriously.

the shirts was really expensive as well. ranging from rm 25-70. that was the price that i saw from some of the shirts and dresses that i liked. i dont dare to think of how high the price might go to. tsk tsk. i would rather get a shirt for myself or kevin if im gonna spend that kinda of money. sheesh.

suddenly i feel like i've become one of those crazy dog lovers. like paris hilton, carrying her toy dog everywhere she went.

i've vouch that i'll never be one of those people.

those that goes crazy about their dogs. treating their pets like their own child.

giving them air cond rooms, evian water, clothes to wear just in case they get chilly, a million toys to play with, etc etc. but somehow, as i was carrying cookie, finding clothes for her with my dad, i felt like i've broken my own promise to self. shucks!

awwww man *bonks head*

i didnt know she can do an emo shot

she reminds me of kenny from southpark
ahhahaha

contrastingly, her hippy hoppy shirt says that she's a chihuahua

but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

trust me

she's not. ahhaa. she's a mini pincher. however u spell it. bahs

she super layan me. everytime i wanna take a picture of her. she'll pose or look at the phone. it's like as if she knows that im taking a picture of her. sheesh

aww man. enough of writing a post bout my puppy. feeling like im one of those bimbo girls

to you

2007-09-19T17:59:00.000+08:00

to u, u can be honest with everything
to me, u have to force me to say how i feel

to u, forgiveness is easy
to me, i tend to dwell on the hurt, the past

to u, tolerance is easy. accepting me even when isabella comes
to me, once i hate it, u get it

to u, everything must be settled right away
to me, time is the key

to u, once u've made a decision to love, u stick to it
to me, i let emotions and thoughts overwhelm me

whenever i look at u with kids.... i love u even more
the way u teach them
the way u look at them
the way u play with them
the way u suddenly turn into their age

throughout this few weeks, many things happened
things that made us feel uncomfortable
made us feel unhappy
made us feel bahs

but u never gave up
u kept saying that this will only make our relationship stronger
and truly
it did
our relationship did get stronger
and i thank God for that

honestly, for the very first time
i never thought of giving up
i just let myself get numb inside
i let myself fade away
let myself back away
which i shouldnt have done

u offered ur love
u offered ur hand to make me feel secure
u offered a hug. to hug all the hurt and pain away

u were there to offer ur help even though it's last minute
u were there to support and encourage me
u were there to love me whenever and wherever, no matter

just wanna say

THANK
Y O U
for being there for me,
for loving me
BABES!!!!

larissa choo jia en

2007-09-19T07:58:00.000+08:00

she was born one week before luke =)
finally i got some pictures
didnt even realize i took some of them
i'll post it up soon =)

yian, u should have asked li ann or alex to take for us. then u can be in the picture

luke damien wong

2007-09-16T19:31:00.000+08:00

i hope that i spelled his name correctly. seriously dont know how to spell damien. or damian or however. dont know. hahaha. oh wells. all i know is that he's cute! aahhaha. so so tiny and so so nice to carry!

PRESENTING.......
LUKE
DAMIEN
WONG!!!!!!!!!

*claps claps*

a new baby to teach soon =)

he's winking!
he's winking!
hahahaha
how lame can i be

awwwww
2 babies =)

simply adorable

merdeka day

2007-09-14T19:30:00.001+08:00

i know i know. this is like a really really late post. ahhaa. what to do. for the past week i've been rushing for midterms. this week we're getting back all our results. oh gosh! some of which im proud of and some...... just.... oh wells. serve me right aint it? anyways... what some of us did on merdeka day. couldnt join the collegians for their trip. so we decided to have our own activity. hehe =) had a really really great time

this is gonna be short and sweet. cuz gotta get ready to go on a date with *ahem* hehehe

the photographer for the day
ur's truly

all the stuff we bought
guess we shouldnt go shopping for groceries on an empty stomach
u'll end up regretting over half of the stuff u bought
hahahaha

we had different chef for the day

presenting

chef # 1
eddie wardie ng

he looks like he's molesting the steak right?

well noooo

he claims that he's massaging it

ahhaha

bahs

chef # 2
cia & i

michie giving a thumbs up for the yummy potato salad
hehehe

we made this delicious potato "salad"

added with wonderful, yummy stuff

at random

but but but

it turned out great

too bad didnt take a picture of the latest version of our potato salad cuz we added in bacon as well

chef #3
andrew

he made the mushroom soup and garlic bread

chef #4

michie

she made my ah yi's wonderful pasta

dont worry dont worry

it was good =)

can improve though

hehe

chef # 5
cia
she made the salad too

the whole day was fun and great and we didnt get food poisoning or something. hahaha we watched 2 movies after that. the simpsons movie and next. ed and cia slept during the simpsons movie. michie and andrew laughed and enjoyed the movie. i was wondering why in the world am i watching this silly show and missing my dearest so so much!

the movie next was awesome! it's worth watching. really really cool. except that nicholas cage got together with a really young and emmm... unsuitable lady for him. hahaha. they should have chosen an older woman or something. he's too old to have such a young, beautiful girlfriend. it's just weird. ahhaha

delz surprise party

2007-09-10T17:18:00.000+08:00

i know i know... it's a long time ago. but i've been busy and i havent been able to use the comp u know. most of the time my brother is using it. oh wells, at least he's staying back home now. =) to have one thing, i gotta sacrifice another.

* over u *

2007-09-10T17:11:00.000+08:00

now that it's all said and done
i cant believe u were the one
to build me up and tear me down
like an old abandoned house
what u said when u left
just left me cold and out of breath
i fell too far, was in way too deep
guess i let u get the best of me

well, i never saw it coming
and i should've started running
a long, long time ago
and i never thought i'd doubt u
im better off without u
more than u, more than u know
im slowly getting closure
i guess it's really over
im finally getting better
and now im picking up the pieces
from spending all of these years
putting my heart back together
cause the day i thought i never get through
i got over u

u took a hammer to these walls
dragged the memories down the hall
packed ur bags and walk away
there was nothing i could say
and when u slammed the front door shut
a lot of others opened up
so did my eyes
so i could see
that u were never the best for me

the return of she-who-must-not-be-named

2007-09-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

oh no... she's back!
*sirens blaring*
warning words coming out of everywhere
asking everyone to beware

CAUTION
CAUTION

she is out again
she has found her own way out
she managed to free herself from the chains that bound her

oh God!
save us all
how can we banish her to the ends of the earth?

M.I.A

2007-09-02T17:31:00.000+08:00

once again im gonna be missing in action. basically, my midterm is gonna start tmr and i have not started studying any of my subjects besides those that i had class tests on. i am really freaking out right now. but i wonder why i still have the time to blog bout it. bahs. hahahaha

i dont think i will be missed because i have been m.i.a for so long anyways. all because of my flu and cough. ahahha. so hopefully i will be able to do well in this exam cuz really..... it's harder than the first sem exams. sighhh... guess i better stop writing nonsense and get down to studying. sheesh

im really testing God huh? like seeing how well He work in my life. making Him do the hard work together with me. burning midnight oil together with me. im sure He must be banging His head now... having to work extra cuz of me being so lazy. but but but.... that's why He's God. if i would have been God, i would not help me at all. ahhahaha. eish

till the next time, i'll have tons to update =) ahhaha. oh wells, that has got to wait =) have a great week ahead
*grin*

frootz

2007-09-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

long long time since i've updated my blog. i know i know. how sad huh? i feel like my blog has been dead. well, i do felt like i was bout to die this whole week. cuz im down with flu and cough. so hopefully i'll be well soon. still feeling sick. anyways, been doing alot of stuff and my midterm is coming soon. i havent even started studying yet. i even forgot to bring back my books to study. how good huh? ahha

anyway... last sunday, andrew's company had some event in ttdi park. we had to pay 10 bucks for charity and we get to eat all the fruits we want. there was loads of food. so kevin and i decided to go. it was a really fun time. haha. except the clown part. hehe =)

this was all the fruits there

not forgetting the durians too hehe

our tags

my knight =)

if any of u dont really know me, u wont know that im terribly terrified of clowns. when i see them i just run away. not just clowns but those wearing the suits. like a&w bear or something like that. so i've never been able to get one of those long balloons made into weird shapes.

so my darling sweetie went and get me one

my honey

he got me a heart
his "heart"

i was a happy girl

now my life is filled with his love as well =)

i heart u babes =)
missing u so much!

a friend

2007-08-22T13:09:00.000+08:00

hey... meet isabella
a girl whom i knew since the day i was born
she's a close friend
it's like we know each other inside and out
at times we are so alike
but sometimes i feel like i dont know her at all

she's the kind of person who gives up whenever things dont go her way
she loves to wallow in self pity
she's still like that even when people gives in to what she wants
she wants people to pamper her
she wants people to do the things that she expects them to do(like as though they can read her mind)

she wants everything to go her way
the way that she expects
the way that she imagines it to be
the way that she fantasizes

constantly she tells me that she hates herself
she thinks that she's not worthy of love
she thinks that everyone is against her
she even pushes away the person who loves her so much
that's the part she hates the most

remember when i say that at times we are so much alike?
hahaha
this is the time when i feel that we're so much alike

decisions

2007-08-13T18:45:00.000+08:00

sigh
im so sad
i hate making decisions
i hate it when i make wrong estimations
i hate it when i think that i have alot of time in my hands

today i was forced to make the most unpeaceful decision i've ever made

i forgot that tonight i had plans

i felt that i needed to do something today

luckily ashley smsed me bout dinner

but in the end of the day, i decided that i will not go

the decision was also supported by kevin

sigh

i've never felt like this before

i didnt feel the peace when i made the decision at all

i didnt feel good when i decided not to go

i felt like i've made the biggest mistake of my life

sigh

i wish that i would never again be stucked in this miserable cross road

but oh wells

this is life

it is filled with cross roads, choices to make, good and bad

aih

so many things to do

so little time

spring cleaning

2007-08-07T22:30:00.000+08:00

wow... i managed to clean up my table. how amazing. i never thought that this day will come. but it did. i finally got tired of postponing my spring cleaning days that i've finally done something bout it. actually, it's because wing lian has moved back here and he has been in my room like constantly. so i couldnt stand it. my own rubbish i still can bear. but have to have another person as well? bahs cannot cannot. hahaha

so im so proud of myself that i manage to make my table and room look clean. just wondering how long this will last. hahaha

groan

2007-08-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

im an extremist

once i start thinking,
i tend to go to one extreme to the other
i can be VERY happy or VERY sad

once something dont go my way
once something dont make my day
i tend to give up
tend to think that maybe it's not right
that maybe it's not meant to be

this is me

trip to a park

2007-08-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

im so happy that he has started classes. i know it's abit bad in my part but i get to see him in college and if our schedule's permit, he fetches me home or we just meet for lunch.

me is a happy girl

i've never been to this park near my house before. it's near mcd's. it's been there for a million years. it's just that i never go there. so today we bought an ice cream from mcd's and went over there for a walk

wow. the pond is really so so so "clean" that makes me enjoy the scenery even more

i just notice that this pic
makes us look like we're dancing

i hate to admit this.... but his eyes IS bigger than mine. sheesh.

no la.. maybe it was just the sun. that's why. u know me and the sun do not mix well. hahhaa

ps. i love u babes =)

ooo... ahhh... goggleed eyed

2007-08-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

im finally over and done with my seminar presentation. dressed formally unlike my usual t-shirts. palms and feet sweating profusely. sheesh. went up there. talked so much. was so proud of myself for that. cuz usually im the shy one. showed my slides. then guess how much i got?? i was so shock when i saw my evaluation paper thingy. i got 90%!!! can u believe it? no right? so do i. truly by God's grace and wonders. i would have never done so well without my Father up in heaven =)

THANK YOU GOD! =)

yack yack yack

2007-07-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

im not the kind of person who loves to talk esp. around a huge number of ppl. i only talk alot around ppl that im close to. i really dont know what to do. my seminar presentation is coming up. i still think that i have time to prepare my slides and presentation. hence, the slumber-ness right now. i dont know whether there's such a word as that but oh wells. i dont care. as long as u get the idea. ahhaha.

so anyway... about my seminar presentation... it is an individual presentation and we are required to talk bout 30 mins. 15 mins is for u to present whatever u wanna present then another 15 mins is for Q&A. it's like going for meetings and presenting to ur clients bout what u wanna sell to them or create some sort of awareness. gosh! some ppl has gotten over this tough presentation already and they make it seem so easy. sigh

really hope that i'll do better cuz some of them couldnt present so well and some showed some indecent pictures. yucks!

happy happy me

2007-07-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

happy to be called family

*huge-wide-little-happy-girl grin*

rainbow.....!

2007-07-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

on friday my darling was SO sweet to come and help me with making a rainbow for my lesson today. sadly.... i forgot to take a picture of the beautiful rainbow. sigh.

before we started our work of art. we decided to cook lunch. it was fun cooking with him. we've cooked together once or twice. it's really fun la. what with experimenting all the nonsense. putting in everything we think that would make the food taste better. ahaha. of course there was alot of arguments. we were arguing bout every single thing bout how to cook and what to put into the food but the food tasted good. ahahha. emmm, let me clarify. we cooked egg with sausages and pasta(those easy easy one la) but only the egg tasted good. the pasta was blehsss. horrible. but oh wells, that's the result of not learning how to cook. ahaha.

so after lunch, we started with our rainbow. it was tough drawing it. tough outlining it. tough coloring it. cheh wahhh! talked until like i did it all. HE did it all. okay okay.. most of it la. im not so bad u know. ehhee. he sat there patiently drawing lines. measuring and especially having me as his "boss". this not perfect that not perfect. the size is not right. too big. too much complains cuz i wasnt the one doing it. ahaha

he was busy drawing and rushing against time
here i was.... eagerly wanting to take loads of picture

i did this. nice lehhh..
too bad didnt take picture of the rainbow
nevermind
come to church then u can see =)

how...?

2007-07-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

how should we react when things dont go our way?

how should we react when things happen and we dont understand why?

how should we react when certain situation makes our loved ones unhappy?

how should we react when we dont see God's plan?

how should we react when things seem so uncertain?

how should we react when we've come to a road block?

how should we react when we dont know which path to choose from?

once again

2007-07-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

once again God never fails to amaze me. i had an accounts test last week. well, as usual.... i totally forgot bout it and i didnt even know what to study. actually....... my lecturer (who is leaving us soon maybe cuz of our class. i dont know. *shrugs* but she's bad at teaching us anyway) decided to announce a class test on the day when i skip her class. sheesh. how smart is she huh? my friend, jocelyn, went for class and she told me bout the test the next day. it's quite hard to trust her because she's really blur. like seriously seriously blur AND SLOW! sometimes i just feel like killing her. like literally killing her.

so anyways... she herself wasnt sure bout what we're suppose to study. what the test is about. what the lecturer is asking us to study. and mind u.... she was the only one in my group of friends who went to class. so can i kill her yet???

luckily on the test day itself, i had an hour break. wow. amazing huh. every time ngam ngam before my test i have an hour break. so my friends and i decided to go somewhere to study. guess what??? yeahh... once again we dont know what are we studying. dont know what to focus on. so in the end, we didnt study at all. we just went for the test blindly

fyi, jocelyn and kenny is like the people that alex and i go to whenever we dont understand stuff bout accounts. and jocelyn was saying that she's gonna fail and things like that. so we made a deal. if she gets higher than us, then she'll treat us lunch again

well, today my test results came and i was so certain again that im gonna pass with flying colors...! haha. plssss.. this is accounts we're talking bout. sheesh. i was positive that im gonna fail so badly. but but but but.......God manage to prove me wrong again.

i got a whooping 90%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i got higher than jocelyn
can u believe it?????????????
i cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

definitely all glory to God!!!! =)
i could never have done it by myself
truly God has helped me tremendously

one of God's funny ways

2007-07-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday, was a really gloomy day. fetched jessica, claire, and ian and we reached church early. so we sat in the car waiting for the church to be open and suddenly a song by rihanna played on the radio. u know umbrella...? yeah so i was singing to it then claire was like what la...not raining also. then during worship, andrew went up and read a scripture from jeremiah 31:3. then he said at times when it's raining, when all the problems starts coming in, God is like our umbrella.

and when i heard that i was smiling, my heart took a leap out of my body, and i was amazed that God is such a humorous God. He can be so funny some times.

on a different note, i finally have gotten my bday present from my parents. it's super duper late. but for a good cause la. i've learnt patience. pity my mum. she's been travelling non-stop and i've been busy when she's free. so gotta wait for the right timing. then last night, we went to curve to go nichii. manage to buy some clothes which i'll never buy last time. and finally! i got to buy my long awaited sunglasses.

we were suppose to go amcorp. a place that nelson brought me to yesterday(another long story) but my mum said nevermind. just buy in curve. cuz if not, i have to wait somemore. bahs. so im a very happy girl! will post up pictures of my sunglasses soon yeah?

now i gotta go do my homework. if not... i'll be so lagging. must catch up fast.

a sneak peek

2007-07-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

today was... emmm... different. kinda like what i named this post. a sneak peek of a full time mother's life. cuz dax and eve moved to a new place. and guess who they called to baby sit????? yes yes yes... DING DING DING!!!! they called moi!!!! im so proud and honored. ahaha. so anyway, jon came and fetch me after my class at about 11.30 then off we went to their new house. wowww.. it's pretty and a really beautiful neighborhood. with lots of playgrounds near each other.

it was tough to take care of danielle. seriously. i had to entertain her. let her get all the attention that she needs. let her sleep. make her comfortable. wipe her saliva. loads of stuff la except feeding her. ahaha. so hard to entertain her. of all the things that i had to do, i love the part where she was sleeping. where all i had to do was to pat her back to sleep. that was the best part of all. ahhaha. im so bad. now im thinking twice on whether i wanna be a full time mum. sigh

so anyways... i obviously took some pictures of her. haha. she's too adorable to pass up that opportunity =)

this was her when she was one month old or something
she was so small
so fragile

now...

look how much she has changed! =)
she's so adorable

love this time. ahahha

manage to make her hug the bolster like an adult
hahaha
but that position only lasted for a while
then i had to carry her and put her back to sleep

once upon a time

2007-07-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

once upon a time, i got my heart broken
but now, it's healed =)

once upon a time, i thought i'll never find another guy to love
but now, i've found a guy who loves me so much

once upon a time, i thought i'll never be happy again
but now, he makes me laugh and smile even when i think of him

once upon a time, i thought i'll never love again
but now im loving him so much

once upon a time, i thought the "he" was the one for me
but now, i've found someone way way way better

once upon a time, i wish i didnt have to go through what i went through
but now, i thank God for sustaining me

once upon a time, i thought the pit that i was in will be my "home" from then on
but now, im out of the pit

once upon a time, i thought that it was just another crush
but now, i can plan the future with him

photo

2007-07-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

he makes me pissed
then
he makes me smile

he makes me angry
then
he makes me happy

he makes me frustrated
then
he makes me calm

I STILL
LOVE
Y O U DARLING!

wondersss

2007-07-17T21:03:00.000+08:00

woww... ahhaha. i got back my computing theory class test and i had the shock of my life. i was SO SURE that i was gonna fail. but but BUT BUT guess what...?? God manage to amaze me once again. see what happened was.... i totally forgot bout this class test until the day itself. i forgot to bring the book back the day before as well. so thank God i didnt have accounts before my class test. so i had an hour or less to skim read 4 long and hard chapters.

this sem... all the stuff that im studying is so confusing that i have no idea whatsoever bout what my lecturers is talking bout. sheesh. most of the time i just sit dazed in class. and all i could see is my lecturers mouth moving but i do not hear anything.

so anyways... back to my computing result. well, i got 80%. hehehe. i was so reluctant to go get my paper and see my result. and my friend was there with my lecturer and he was like.... wahhh! see... say never study somemore. cuz seriously... to be honest... i didnt remember anything i studied. hahaa =) all thanks to God who helped me out =)

suddenly i wish

2007-07-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

"why cant i go for trips and holidays with friends...?"

"aiyah... of course not. ur a girl..."

sometimes i wish im a guy

sometimes i wish i can have all the freedom that i want

but i guess sometimes what i want is not the best huh?

but if im a guy, then i wont be able to be together with kevin

sigh

what a dilemma

goshhh..!!

whatever

2007-07-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

bittersweet feelings

2007-07-09T21:05:00.000+08:00

things have never been better
i've never felt this good once things has been settled
had a last minute call by my dearest bout family dinner last night
pooi yian and i went to mcd's right after practice for some snacks
then she dropped me in his house
got ready and off we went to holiday villa for dinner

we got there early
so we walked around and talked and settled the day old arguments
learnt things from each other
it felt good being transparent to him

sometimes he shocks me
he knows what im thinking without me telling him
he knows what im feeling without me telling him
it's like he reads my mind

that is why i love him so much!!! =)

moments

2007-07-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

what's the point of sleeping when ur gonna wake up 3 hours later
tossing and turning on ur bed
trying to fall asleep again
only to find that an hour later
ur crying urself to sleep

and u wake up again
thinking bout the sad dreams u just had
the sad dreams was inevitable because of all that happened during the day
and once again
a de javu
ur crying urself to sleep once again

sometimes i think
what's the point...?

cleaning out my closet

2007-07-03T18:29:00.000+08:00

so many things unsaid
feelings and emotions kept locked up
no one knows besides u and God
it starts to rot
starts to break u little by little
what's the point?
what benefit do u get when u keep everything inside?

u have no one else to hurt but urself
okay... maybe the ppl who loves u

it takes time to get used to being transparent
to speak ur mind
to speak bout whatever is bothering u

i for one
am a person who love, i repeat love, to keep everything inside
i would rather just shut up and not say anything
until maybe that something makes me really sad or like i cant take it anymore

late late post

2007-07-01T22:37:00.000+08:00

have been quite lazy to come online esp on msn =) guess im not that addicted to blogging and msning huh?

so anyways....
let me concentrate on what i wanna write bout. i made this really really late anniversary present for kevin. i had so much things that i wanted to do. like a whole list that i wanted to get or make for him but i couldnt make it come true due to some unforeseen circumstances. and the week that i wanted to bake for him.... i fell sick. well, not VERY sick. but didnt feel my healthy self. so i gave it to him bout a few days late. haha

gotta give some credit to my mum cuz she helped me with the words. i could have never done such a great job without her. it's been a while since i've baked with her. i used to bake with her when i was young. actually, more like me doing the minor jobs and she was doing most of it. afraid that i might ruin it. hehe. it was fun time.

transformers

2007-07-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

as what the title clearly states, marc, jon, kevin, and i went to watch transformers last friday. and i gotta say.... that the movie was AWESOME! it was soooo chun. i didnt expected it to be so good. kevin was as usual hyped up bout it. he was so crazy over it ever since the trailer came out. he talked bout it every single day. every given chance he had. so finally we went and watch it... and i gotta admit that i wasnt looking forward to it at all. i was feeling really like nonchalant.

but

OH MY GOODNESS!!! the show turned out really really good!! GREAT!!! beyond great actually. it was soo soo good. and i havent watch the cartoon or whatever. i only heard bout it from boys and man of all ages.

note to those who havent watch it

pls make it a point to go watch it
should go watch in the cinema
really really awesome!

sometimes...

2007-06-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish that im not so involved in church
so that i can go out more often with my friends

sometimes i wish that im not the person that i am now
so that i wont hurt the ppl around me

sometimes i wish that i can go drinking or something
so that i can stay in touch with my friends

sometimes i wish i have good time management
so that i am able to do all the things that i wanna do

sometimes i wish that i am able to do everything that i wanna do
so that nothing is HARD for me

sometimes i wish i am not so forgetful
so that i remember to bring back my books to study for my test tmr for instance

sometimes i wish i have enough love to go around
so that the ppl around me will feel loved

sometimes i wish that i am a different person
so that i wont hate the person i am now

sometimes i wish that i have a high self-esteem
so that i wont feel so shitty now

sometimes i wish that there's only joy and no sadness
so that i wont feel the sadness i feel now

sometimes i wish that there's no heartaches
so that i wont feel the heartache i feel now

sometimes i wish that i can forget all the sad things
so that my life would be better

sometimes i wish that i would know the right words and the right things to say
so that i can help the ppl around me

fly away

2007-06-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

no mood

in doubt

endless thoughts

feeling unloved

can i just fly away like a butterfly...? going from flower to flower getting sweet stuff. i love sweet stuff. flying around without any care in the world. except maybe getting squashed or caught by silly ppl who attempts to do some weird scientific experiment.

can i not care anymore???

the day has finally arrived

2007-06-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

today marks the first year of our relationship
time has definitely flew past so fast
i cant believe it that it was LAST year
at this very same day that he asked me to be his girlfriend
i was shocked yet beaming with delight

it was this very same that day we made a decision
a decision that will change our present and future
decisions that included the both of us
when we started, we have inevitably started a few must-do's
such as....
putting the other person first
making choices or decisions that wouldnt hurt the other person

we cant be selfish anymore
cant just think bout what we ourselves want
but to put the other person's wants first

it doesnt feel that one year has past
i could remember what happened
it feels like it happened only a few days ago
but i cant remember the exact words that we said to each other
only vaguely

how i wished that i had a video camera at that time
then i could record down every single move
every single word said to each other
every single smile
every single moment
because i know....
that one day
my memory will deteriorate

okay... enough of the words. picture time...!

the things he bought for me
(still havent had time to buy for him yet)

do u know what is this...?
really delicious and yummy!
looks abit like rum&raisin

it's non other than snickers ice cream!!!

was surprised that he would buy me this book
and now im stuck with it
cant seem to put it down
hahaha
we only saw it once

we did everything like the first day we went out alone
we went to a&w
we watched a movie
(this time it wasnt x men.. but fantastic four.. another form of heroes.. hehe)
we walked around 1u
it was something really special
though the place might not be somewhere high class
not a "special" way to celebrate
but it was special to us
i felt like i was reliving the day again
except things were a little different

HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY MY
DEAREST DARLING
SWEETHEART HONEY BABY!

now i remember

2007-06-22T08:48:00.000+08:00

hahaa... now i remember what i wanted to write last night. u might be asking why am i writing at this time of the day.... dont i have class..? haha. well, actually... as i was getting ready for to leave for class, my friend smsed me and said that my lecturer is on emergency leave. so i only have 2 classes for the day. feel like skipping it. sigh. but i know i shouldnt. but i want....! arghhhhh!!!!!

just wanna say thank u to all the ppl who wished me for my bday. really appreciate it. i had a hard time trying to sleep because of the continuous smses that was coming in. and some of them even stayed up till it was 12 msian time to wish me. i feel so honored. how nice. but oh wells. it was for a good cause. but sadly.... no matter the amount of smses or calls that i got, i still didnt feel like it was my bday. sheesh. what do i have to do to make me feel like it was my bday....?

okay... let's forget bout my bday. it's over and done with already. no point talking bout it anymore. so anyways....

i've been having a hard time deciding on what to do and what not to do. alot of things has been happening between a few ppl in college. conflicts and what-nots.

*bimbo talk* it's like so totally high school stuff *bimbo talk*

things heard and things said
things that ur unsure bout the validity of it
cuz u dont know everyone's good or bad side
u dont know when one is saying the truth
dont worry im not one of those ppl

but one of them involved is my friend. and i really dont want to see her get hurt by some idiotic guy. who has no brains whatsoever. he might be smart in class..... but in basic relationships, he might be a dumb a** sorry for the use of words. but he's no smarter than a starfish.

ps. do u know that a starfish has no brains..? (well at least that's what i've heard)

sigh. i do not know what to do. it's true what kevin said. i should just listen to everything and let it go out the other ear. should not participate in any of these anymore. it's it's it's.... to risky!!!

boring.................. dont know whether i wanna go for class today. really dont feel like it. bahs. but but but... no esther. u shouldnt skip classes. not good u know...? ish... let's see what happen next la...

to be continued..........

happy belated bday to me... heh heh

2007-06-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

my bday started off like any normal day
struggling to get out of bed
the countless amount of snoozes
the rush of getting ready for college

i didnt even want ppl from my class to know that it was bday. it was seriously a hush hush thing.

this year i dont have a bundle of presents to show off. the gifts didnt matter anymore. all that matters was time spent with friends, family, and kevin

sad to say that i dont have any pictures to post up for my bday. hopefully tmr night i'll have some

hmmm... actually i have alot of things to post one. but i cant remember what i wanna write about. oh wells. nevermind then. i better get some rest cuz im feeling sick again. sigh. tatas =)

hahaha

2007-06-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

today is such a funny day... why would i say that? well, it all start when i remembered how i celebrated my bday last year. sigh. i wish this year would be that same but sadly.... we've all moved on to different places and some to different parts of the world. this year.... i didnt want my bday to be made known to everyone. let's just say that i didnt wanna make a big deal out of it la. at least this year i get to celebrate with THE special person in my life.

i remember last year... when i kept telling delz or lay yan bout my stories with kevin. like what's been happening... all the happy happy joy joy stuff. ahaha.

i remember delz bluffing me that kevin wasnt gonna come for my bday dinner but in the end he came. she bluffed me so much that day la. ahaha

i remember there was one year... my friends had a surprise party for me in my condo because that was the year that they had surprise bday parties for everyone except kim. see... how much she sacrifice for me. i was so shocked and surprised that i was crying slightly. hehe.

i remember when i was younger... i loved ice cream cakes and my grandpa and my parents would get them for me every year.

i remember that i used to have parties during my bday

i remember seeing a picture of me when i was 2 or something... with a pink elephant as a bday cake. guess i started liking pink THAT young eh...? hehe

i remember when i was old enough to get a handphone.... i got a new handphone every year for my bday. until this year la. hehe =)

i remember how i used to tell everyone what i want for my bday. like giving them a list of what i want

another funny thing that happened today was....
when i was sitting with my friends... one of my friend's friend came and said hi to her... then she whispered something to my friends ear. then....

my friend : do u have a brother?
me : yes
my friend : do u stay in damansara?
me : in mutiara damansara
my friend's friend : emmm.. i think i know ur brother... he just graduated from IT right?
me : yeah

as i got up to walk to the car...

my friend's friend : emm.. dont tell ur brother that u met me ar..?
me : *in my head* for what..? like i met u... i dont even know ur name. i dont even know u. how can u consider this as meeting each other? *in my head* but i just said ahuh
my friend's friend : cuz i met him at ......
me : ughhh... yeah *smile* *trying to be polite* when actually i was screaming in my head... for what i want to tell him bout someone that i dont even know and that she knows my brother. what's the big deal....? like i care weiiiii. sheesh. ppl now a days. and she kept repeating "dont tell ur brother ar.. dont tell ur brother" plssss.. dont think so highly of urself lady... it's so high school man

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!!!!!

2007-06-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the person whom i always celebrate my bday with! hehe. she's a day older than i am. we've celebrated our bday since the day we found out that we're just one day apart. and she's back from NZ. we were so sad when she left for NZ cuz then this year will be the first that we're gonna celebrate by ourselves. so when she told me that she's gonna come back before our bdays... i was overjoyed! hehee =)

she's fun to be with
easy going
crazy
nonsensical
dramatic
silly
so-poh (like me & nat)
she's one that i never regret knowing

through the years of getting to know each other, there were loads of arguments, quarrels, misunderstandings. it was just a time that we needed to get to know each other as well as ourselves

i must say that there is never a boring day with her. i dont know why but i seem to have loads of "girl-friends" that i can have crazy, silly, laugh-till-our-stomach-hurts moments.

she's one of those that i can start talking non-stop with even though we havent seen each other for a million years.

no words can describe her until u know her urself. she's just a really really really wonderful friend to have

when i was looking through the pictures, i realized that we've changed so much. from our looks, to our clothes, to our view points, to our goals in life. i pray that u'll grow to be a lady chasing after God's will in ur life.

tick tock

2007-06-18T21:26:00.000+08:00

time is ticking away
to a much awaited day
there's so many things that i wish i could say
that i wish i could tell
i wish i can be transparent with him
but why cant the words come?
why cant i just tell him?
why isit so hard?

on a really really different note, i cant wait for pictures anymore. i need to upload the pictures di. haha. guess my patience lasted quite long. anyways, i manage to take them with my phone. so... yeah =)

during family camp
this picture is however taken by a D40. so yeaps =)

at gotong jaya
eating durian ice cream
super yummy

this is before kevin's family dinner recently
was so scared
but it was good

she....

2007-06-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

she hates it when lil things bug her
she hates it when she gets so sensitive over petty things
she hates it when she wants to do one thing... but ends up doing another
she hates it when she doesnt do what she has learned or decided
she hates it when things dont go her way
she hates it when she cares too much
she hates it when she thinks too much

she feels unloved
she feels like they're on different levels
she's scared that her dream will not come true
losing someone that she love so much is her fear
she's scared that one day love is not enough
she wonders when will her brain stop thinking so much
will the thinking ever end....?

maybe that girl really should take a breather
her brains better take a day off before she goes crazy
she should count to 10 before letting her emotions control her
she should think before she speak.... cuz she tend to realize only after hurting the ppl she loves

maybe she should listen to her friend
how she wish that she can think like her friend
how she wish she can be understanding
why cant she take things lightly...?
she makes me feel like killing her sometimes
sometimes i cant take her continuous rants
cant take her indecisiveness
she thinks too much, u know...?

seriously... i dont understand why she must think so much
she just love to complicate things u know....?
she can twist and turn
add salt and pepper
to the simplest things in the world that even a child can understand
she gets sensitive over small, petty things

can i have a day without her...?
isit too much to ask...?
i cant stand another minute of her
i want her out of my life
gone gone gone

i just hate hate haTE HATE this girl so much!!!! *ugh*

woots!

2007-06-15T12:49:00.000+08:00

yayyy!!!! keep forgetting to post this

i had an accounts test the week after my hols. i totally forgot bout it. so after lunch with kevin. i studied for bout 15 minutes in the car. then i went for the test. i thought i would fail the test. seriously. i couldnt do my first question. my mind was doing tricks on me. but at least i manage to do the 2nd question. when i balanced it, i was like jumping for joy di. so bout few days later.... i got my results back. and i got an amazing 85% it was okay only la.

i had debate tooo. this week. was suppose to be on monday.... but no one was ready. we told the lecturer that she should wait and see us on the real day itself. we're gonna blow her mind. gonna amaze her. hahaa. so on wed we had our debate.... and she was amazed. i was so scared. so nervous. didnt even know what i was talking bout. but my group won! hehehe. amazing huh...? lol.

tonight im gonna go for dinner with kevin's family and relatives. awww mann. im so scared. im so nervous. i wish i could understand and speak fluent hokkien and mandarin. then if they insult me, at least i'll know. ahhahaa. sighhh.... so scared so scared so scared. sheesh. *faint*

cant wait to watch fantastic four!!!! cuz this month is my bday. so gsc is giving me a voucher for a free movie. so kevin and i are gonna go watch it later! weeeeeee =) hehehe. time is flying so fast. it's gonna be my bday soon. im gonna be 19 *sobs* old old person. and kev and i's 1st anniversary. oooooooooooooooooooooo....!!! hehehe =)

funny....

2007-06-15T12:35:00.000+08:00

funny how God answers our prayers sometimes.
i was doing my QT this morning
actually i didnt want to do it... wanted to sleep somemore
but no way am i gonna let Satan be happy

so it was talking bout living a life of purpose
letting God shine through me
letting God use me
am i making God known to everyone around me?

and at the bottom of my notebook
cuz i have one of those christian notebooks where there's verses at the bottom of the page
and it was joshua 1:9

" be strong ang courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with u wherever u go. "

i felt so good after reading that verse
i was so discouraged yesterday
that's why i wrote that post
i am a person who lets emotions control my decision, mood, everything
i know my God will never leave me nor forsake me

THE JOY OF THE
LORD IS MY STRENGTH! =)